25.1.17

More Manga Smut by Cayce

Three more manga stories we had the privilege to translate have been released by Renta! comics. Blue Rose is a bizarre gothy boys' love story set in England, and if you love stories about faraway places written by people who've never been there as much as we do, you're going to love this one. Learn more here.


In addition to that one, we translated another story, Silent Submission, which is basically regular ol' het smut, but it bears the distinction of having a heroine who, unlike most manga heroines, is not a naive virgin, embarrassed blushing girlfriend, cute bunch of bubbles, or long-suffering caretaker type, but a sexually aggressive and ambitious lady who isn't afraid to snatch what she wants, even if it means being a manipulative schemer. Props to this story for playing to a different sort of fantasy than many of these types of stories do. You can read this one here.


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23.1.17

Atom Miraiha Tour DVD: Deleted Scenes EXCLUSIVE

The Hisashi Inquirer is proud to bring this all-new EXCLUSIVE scoop, straight from the Royal Palace of Buck-Tickistan itself!

According to an announcement from the Buck-Tickistan Grand Vizier, on Wednesday, April 26th, Buck-Tick will release a new live DVD of their final live performance of 2016, that is to say, the tour final of the Atom Miraiha No. 9 Hall Tour, held on December 29th at the Nippon Budoukan. This juicy release will come in a total of FOUR versions, for the following prices: 

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition Blu-Ray 
- 10800 yen, including tax

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition DVD 
- 9720 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition Blu-Ray
- 7020 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition DVD 
- 5940 yen, including tax

In addition to the video itself, the Ultra Extra Special Limited Editions will include PHOTOBOOKS of photography from the shows, Ultra Extra Special SHM-CD discs of the live audio from the shows, and application tickets for an Ultra Extra Special Present Lottery.

Thus far, this information has been publicly available through the Public Relations Office of Buck-Tickistan...BUT! The Hisashi Inquirer goes ABOVE and BEYOND, to offer you more bang for your Buck-Tick buck! And this time, boy oh BOY (septem peccata mortalia) have we scooped!

This time, esteemed readers...THIS TIME, we offer you an Ultra Extra Special Live Photobook of our own: snapshots from STEAMY, SEXY DELETED SCENES you will not see on the DVD!!!!!!!!!!!

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Like this one!!!! OMG look where he's holding that microphone! It almost looks like a YOU-KNOW-WHAT (and if you don't know what we sincerely hope you find out soon...)


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But wait, there's MORE! Like this extremely small but OVERPOWERINGLY SEXYLICIOUS triangle of Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's clean, soft, firm and juicy femoral flesh!!!


Feast your fangirl eyes! Flush faint in feverish fantasy!


For fuck's sake, keep fainting and fantasizing!


You had better not be done fainting yet ;) If you were, well then...FAINT AGAIN.


Our on-the-ground reporter reports that Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan struck this particular pose while performing a secret never-filmed cover version of "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret (psst - don't tell mama about it!)


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And if, esteemed reader, you're an ostensibly heterosexual male, feeling flustered at how fluttery these scandalous photos make you feel, take heart - you're not alone!


Massive attack! Feel so good! The day Mr. Yutaka "Serious" Higuchi's buttocks met Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's thighs was an arousing, exciting, and pleasurable day all around! 


Let the fujoshi freak-out fest commence!!!

This concludes The Hisashi Inquirer's daily report...but don't worry, we know your fantasies have only just gotten started! And stay tuned, because we'll be back with more in the near future for future!
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The above excerpt from The Hisashi Inquirer, 2017 No. 1 issue 3 was translated from the original Buck-Tickistani by Cayce. And between you and us, they outright stole our exclusive photos. But we're not going to bother them about it, because we're not going to rain on your Women's Parade this week. Share away, but please credit Blog-Tick.

Now go break the internet, already.




20.1.17

Fish Tanker's Only 2017 Goods

In honor of their 30th anniversary, the Buck-Tick members have turned into officially licensed anime characters designed by the late Osamu Tezuka from beyond the grave! What they will look like is still a mystery...but tomorrow, we'll get to see them live on stage in their new forms for the first time ever! Meanwhile, as a lead-up to this startling turn of events, they have released the designs for the tour goods to be sold at the upcoming Fish Tanker's Only Tour 2017. If you'd like us to help you buy any of the following items, let us know asap!

First, just look at these cool t-shirts:

If you wanted a black version of the Astro Boy t-shirt sold at the Budoukan, here's your chance. It's even one of those long A-line shirts that are so in fashion right now. It's one size fits all and 4200 yen.


Alternatively, if you like your band members a little more realistic, you'll love this new version featuring Tezuka-style band members (click to enlarge). Just check out Sexy Beast Hide's hair! This one's only 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, and large. If you'd like to order from us, don't forget to specify size.

And some more non-shirt goods besides:



But if you like to have your cake and eat it too, why not go for the tote bag that has the Astro Bucks on the front and Tezuka-Tick on the back! 2000 yen, made of cotton.


If you want to dry your naked boobies on a towel featuring the new anime B-T, this is the towel for you. We're sorry we verbally sexually harassed you by making reference to boobies. Plus it was awfully sexist of us to assume that you, a figment of the internet, are a boobies-having person. Sorry again. This towel is 2000 yen and 100% cotton.

And some band member produced goods:

This cool bandana by Imai will not give away that you're a Buck-Tick fan, but it is covered with subtle Climax Together crosses so you can be both religious and climaxing wherever you go! Bonus points if you either 1) tie this bandana around your face bandit-style or 2) use it as a makeshift wrapper for your home-baked "special" brownies. 2000 yen and 100% cotton.


Look, star chocolates by #SexyBeastHide! Just in time for Valentine's day, too! This is the bestest, perfectest passive aggressive Valentine's day gift ever: there is literally no better way to say to your sweetie "baby I love you, but I love Hoshino Hidehiko even more." Highly recommended for everyone whose relationship has gone on too long. 1200 yen. Contains six chocolates.

If you can't get enough of Toll's pussyhawk, what about these pussyhawk pins? They're each about 2cm tall and made of stainless steel. This, like the chocolates above, is a great passive aggressive way to show how much cooler you are than all those desperate fangirls who bought Kurumi t-shirts as a way of feeding their sad fantasies about being close to Acchan. Everyone cool knows that Toll's the one who knows how to treat a pussy right. 1500 yen.

This tour's goods are also heavy on holders and cases:

Here's a better photo of the wildly popular pink ticket holder! If you want this one, ask me asap because this thing has already sold out from the web shop like three times. 1500 yen and made of "vegan leather" which is really just a pretentious way of saying it's not made of leather it's made of a non-renewable fossil-fuel based product, i.e. PVC.

And the trading card case. It will hold your "compu' set, if you be the collecting type. 1500 yen and made of pretentious not-leather.

Then again, if you're the type who likes to wear your Buck-Tick tickets around your neck at all times instead of your work ID badge, this is the ticket holder you probably want, since it comes with its own lanyard. 2500 yen, and it has a zipper so you can stash cash in it, too.

Oh yeah, and ALL the Kurumi goods:

If you haven't had enough of Mr. Sakurai's pussy yet, here's more of her. But between you and us, we'd like to remind you that this is the oldest capitalist strategy in the book: translating your unrequited pussy-lust into cold hard yen.

This cloth-covered mirror is 13 x 16 centimeters and it has Kurumi all over it. 2000 yen.

The same Kurumi t-shirts that were available at the Budoukan are still available. The top one is 3800 yen and comes in medium and large. The bottom is 4200 yen and one size only.

And more stuff that was available at the Budoukan:

Hide Hipster Glasses! 3800 yen.

Toll Pussyhawk smartphone case! 3000 yen. 



Imai Atomu shirt! 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, or large.

And Serious Astro Yutaka! 1500 yen.

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If you want any of this stuff, email us at themadaristocrat at gmail. The sooner the better.

11.1.17

Atom Miraiha Budoukan Goods

The Atom Miraiha tour goods from the tour final at the Budoukan are now up on the Buck-Tick web shop, so check them out here. Some of the items are sold out, but many more are still available...however, no telling how long they'll last! We'll be placing an order soon for all the items desired by Blog-Tick customers, so if you'd like us to help you order anything, email us asap. We will be able to offer a small discount on shipping for customers placing their orders together.

As far as the live report goes...we're working on it, but we got socked with an Urgent Business Project due tomorrow, so it's on hold for a bit. We'll get back to it as soon as we can.

Also, thanks Russian fangirls, for all your freaking out over Acchan-chan's thighs. We're so happy that after so many years, we finally managed to break the internet, and you were the ones who made that possible. We promise more thigh pics in the near future. In the meantime, have a brilliant future for future.

6.1.17

Thighgate, or, This Amazing Fanart Will Blow Your Mind!

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It's been all over the Interweb art galleries! According to sketchily-inclined fangirls, on the Atom Miraiha Tour, this happened:




Yes, that's right. According to the Internet, on the Atom Miraiha Tour, our very own dear Mr. Sakurai magically transformed into a nubile, round-bottomed anime girl, whose hobby is being photographed at obscenely low angles for the cover of the kinds of porno gravure magazines they sell in convenience stores over here, because apparently, having a really, really large butt and a small head is almost as sexy as having gigantic balloon-sized boobs covered with really small triangles of fabric.

But as far as balloon boobs go, didncha know that Mr. Sakurai has the next best thing - a pert little bubble butt that's so fucking perky it looks like it's going to pop out the top of his pants! The butt in the below picture is his actual butt, yo. And just look at the shape of that nose, eh? God's nose is shaped like that, and Jesus inherited his father's nose. What is the sound of one hand fapping?



Oh yeah, and he also grew a hard, breastplate-like superhero chest of bulging pecs that threatened to bust their way out of his shirt like Thor!!!1


MMMMM, SMEX! SMEX FOR YOU! Help us, kids, we're so turned on now we don't know what to do with ourselves, but we're also secretly ashamed of our sexuality and though we're adults in calendar years, when it comes to sexual age, we're still closet 15-year-olds who are deeply embarrassed by the human body, yet wildly aroused by the mere sight of even a sliver of bare flesh (any sliver will do)!!!!! And we also never learned what our own genitals do or how to pleasure ourselves in a healthy, effective and self-loving manner, so our frustration knows no bounds! This is indeed a maddening and saddening state of affairs!

Also, we are SOOOOOO JEALOUS OF THIS GIRL. OMG. HOW DARE SHE STEAL OUR ACCHAN! And we're jealous that she's a much better artist than we will ever be! Internet girl who created this picture, we hate you, and that's official. Damn your superior art skills, and damn your sexual success. Come let us passive-aggressively harass you. (Blog-Tickers: come and hate her with us! She stole our Acchan! She must die!)


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Anyhow, for those of you who attended the tour: you know that not only has Mr. Sakurai thusly acquired a new nickname, "Thigh-Tsushi" (we really, really wish we were making this up), but also, the secret greeting among Buck-Tick fangirls has changed from "Who's your favorite band member?" to "Have you seen Acchan's thighs?"

Just imagine that for a second, okay? You walk into a concert hall, and a total stranger comes up to you and says..."Hey, Cayce, have you seen Acchan's thighs?"

It happened to us, folks. Four times and counting. We survived, but barely.

This is why, though we're not generally in the business of trafficking in pornography, we felt the need to take action on this matter. Because, while we're not generally in the business of trafficking in pornography, we most certainly ARE in the business of debunking myths and rumors and misconceptions (at least until we can start our own superior rumors and misconceptions to replace them, that is! But never mind that.) We are the Snopes.com of Buck-Tickistan! We fact-check your fake news! And therefore, we are pleased to announce that we did our due diligence and came up with the following cold hard photographic evidence that the above fanarts are not, in fact, faithful renderings of the truth.

Kids, this is what REALLY happened that night. Don't let anyone try to tell you differently. The below photos are real, actual photos of your very own Atsushi Sakurai and they have not been digitally altered in any way, shape or form. 

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Merry Christmas from Cayce. Don't try to tell us Christmas was two weeks ago. In Buck-Tickistan, Christmas has just begun. 

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P.S. Before you get too comfortable...The Mortal, anyone? Nasophiliacs, rejoice! The bigger the nose grows, the more the nose knows.


P.P.S. Artists: please don't assume we are trying to discourage you from posting your art on the internet. We really want to see your art. Share moar art! Vita brevis, ars longa.

Happy New Year of the Cock!

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Happy New Year, Blog-Tickers! It's officially Buck-Tick's 30th anniversary now, and it just so happens to also be the Year of the Red Fire Cock. Coincidence? We don't think so. Sure, your friends at work are probably genteelly insisting that it's the Year of the Rooster, but here on Blog-Tick, we call it like it is. This is also an excellent year to enjoy Sriracha Red Pepper Cock Sauce, so stock up while supplies last!

Anyhow, as y'all may have heard, Buck-Tick's plans for this momentous year are somewhat hazy at the moment. Following the Atom Miraiha Hall Tour Final at the Nippon Budoukan on December 29th, the following was announced:



For those of you who can't read Japanese: Buck-Tick's 30th anniversary project kicks off in September. They'll be playing a solo show outdoors on Odaiba, followed by a Day in Question national tour that will run from October through December. On December 23rd, they will play a Day in Question concert at Takasaki Arena, followed by the DIQ at the Budoukan on December 29th. They will then be releasing a new album in spring of 2018. 

If you're confused about what this actually means, you're not alone. The Japanese fans are confused, too, not least because of the fact that there have been absolutely no announcements regarding whether or not Buck-Tick will undertake a general-admission standing tour to support Atom Miraiha No. 9. Their Fish Tanker's Only tour kicks off at the end of this month, but ticket sales have been unusually stagnant and some of the shows have now gone into an unheard-of fourth round of lotteries. Would they have sold more tickets if they'd made the shows general admission instead of fanclub-only? Almost certainly. Are they having management problems? We don't want to start rumors, but it certainly seems like it. For one thing, announcing an album to be released in spring of 2018 sounds more than a tad premature. Back when they were fresh-faced twentysomethings, Victor was known to work them like a slavedriver, forcing them to write and record songs while simultaneously touring the country...but this time around, they're supposedly still on Lingua Sounda, so shouldn't things be different? Plus, frankly, Buck-Tick are not the hot shit like they once were. If the stagnating Fish Tank ticket sales are any indication, they're losing popularity, not gaining it. They cannot possibly be Victor's cash cow anymore. Overworking the band at this mellow and mature point in their career seems like a waste.

Also, it's not looking like they'll be mounting a 30th anniversary festival, and if they were looking to attract new fans, that's a damn shame, because the 25th anniversary festival brought in a lot of new blood out of the visual kei scene. Festivals are a great way to get exposure to people who might like your music but aren't quite sure. Perhaps they decided not to mount one due to the logistical hell of dealing with all those contracts, but the 25th anniversary festival was such a lovely experience overall it's very disappointing that they seem to have chosen not to relive it. We can only hope that whatever concert they mount on their own is unusually long and special to make up for it.

As for the Day in Question 2-month national tour, I think this is a coded way of saying they're going to do a full-on national tour playing tracks from their back catalogue. Whether it will be a hall tour, a standing tour, or a mix of both remains to be seen - but kids, let's cross our fingers and hope for a standing tour, because rock music simply was not intended to be listened to from a red plush seat at the back of some government-owned auditorium.

Anyhow, if there is any chance of an Atom Miraiha standing tour, it's unlikely to happen until spring, since the December issue of the Fish Tank newsletter made no mention of any such possibility. Keep your fingers crossed and your eyes peeled.

All in all, if all this sounds like a bit of an anti-climax together to you, well, pray that those words at the bottom, "And More," are not lies.

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We'll try to get our live report up sooner rather than later. We're sorry we've been so behind on the articles. In truth, the Curse of 2016 had its fair share of negative effects on us just as it did on many other people, and consequently, we've having a bit of a crisis of faith of late. The more comments you leave to remind us that Buck-Tick's fans (and management...not gonna name names) aren't entirely horrible people, the more incentive you'll give us to put the past in the past and press ahead with a brave face.

To quote a favorite author of ours: "People who didn't know the music industry believed that the movie business was the ne plus ultra of vicious, asshole-chewing, hyena-like behavior."

It's true, kids, and it sucks. Please remind us why we started this blog in the first place: for y'all, and not for those people. But honestly. You'd think that if you got to work with a band as cool as Buck-Tick, you'd be so satisfied with your life that you wouldn't need to be a vicious hyena-chewing asshole...yet not so. It's a sick, sad world, but let's get our Red Fire Cock anyplace we can.