BUCK-TICK 2017 "THE PARADE" ~30th anniversary~

Well, folks. As you may already have heard from Fish Tank, Buck-Tick have at last announced the details of their forthcoming 30th anniversary extravaganza. To call it a festival would be an overstatement, seeing as by all reports, Buck-Tick are the only band who will be performing...though who knows, maybe we can hope for some guest appearances. In any case, here are the details, according to Fish Tank.

Buck-Tick will hold a pair of concerts in honor of their 30th anniversary entitled "Buck-Tick 2017 'The Parade' ~30th Anniversary~". We're tempted to point out that it's hard to have a parade with only one band, but for now, we'll be charitable. Day One of this two-day event, entitled "Fly Side," will be held on Saturday, September 23rd, in an outdoor venue set up specially for the occasion on a vacant lot right next to Aomi Station on the Yurikamome Line, on Odaiba, the magical island made of trash piled up on the bottom of Tokyo Bay. Day Two of the event, entitled "High Side," will be held on Sunday, September 24th, at the same location.

On both days, the doors will open at 3:30PM, and the show will start at 5:30PM. Fans are free to purchase tickets to one or both dates. Single-day tickets will cost 10,000 yen each, while a two-day pass will cost 18,919 yen. Why the strangely specific price, you ask? Because in Japanese number-speak, 8-9-1-9 can be pronounced "ba-ku-chi-ku," that's why. And for the record, the pricing was the same for their 25th anniversary festival, for the same reason.

Though there is as yet no word on how the venue will be arranged, it will be divided into blocks, and tickets will be assigned by block, with line numbers. Tickets go on general sale at 10AM on June 24th, but there will be a Fish Tank presale between April 8th and April 27th, the details of which will be printed in the forthcoming Fish Tank newsletter, due to be sent out on April 6th. For the record: for most of its existence, Fish Tank has sent out its quarterly newsletter in mid-March, mid-June, mid-September, and mid-December...but since Watanabe Sayuri took over from Ikeda Rumi as Fish Tank manager, the FT newsletter has been sent out several weeks late on more occasions than it has been sent out on time. Do these delays demonstrate a lack of professionalism on the part of the new Fish Tank management? Probably.

Rants aside, however, those of you who are interested in attending this festival and would like Cayce's help in obtaining tickets should contact Cayce via email around April 6th. If you're not a member of Fish Tank but you'd like to join in order to get Fish Tank tickets to the 30th anniversary extravaganza, you'll be eligible to get tickets through the Fish Tank presale if you join Fish Tank through Fish Tank web by March 31st. If you haven't joined Fish Tank yet but you want to do so specifically for this pair of concerts, I recommend you join as soon as possible and do not leave things to the last minute, as Fish Tank has been notoriously unhelpful toward foreign fans since their new dictator took office. I still do encourage all of you to make an effort to write Fish Tank emails in English about how much you like Buck-Tick. Recent fans especially - write to Fish Tank and tell them how you just discovered Buck-Tick five minutes ago! Most of Buck-Tick's Japanese fan following have been following the band since soon after their debut, and it wouldn't be a bad thing to let Fish Tank know that the band are drawing in new blood from overseas. They might not do anything with the information, but you never know.

As to rumors that tickets for "High Side" include a package of "candies" to help enhance your concert experience... they cannot be confirmed at this time, but neither can they be denied.

We will follow up with further information as it becomes available.


51 and Still Sluttin'

Ladies and gentlemen and non-gendered non-corporeal beings of Blog-Tick, we would like to take a moment to wish a very happy birthday to our dear Mr. Sakurai Atsushi, President of Buck-Tickistan. (In fact, if you fact-checked that statement, you'd find out it's an "alternative fact" because in fact, Buck-Tickistan, as an Anarchic Republic, has no President, nor any central leader whatever. But we know you won't fact check because this is the Age of the Internet and everything you read on the internet is true.)

Anyhow, if 50 is the age for grand midlife crisis albums of epical gothical proportions, 51 is the age for a man to prove the following two things:

1. No matter how old you get, it's still cool to both be goth bondage Jesus in a music video, and wear goth bondage Jesus on your deliciously goth-kitsch t-shirt. Wearing goth bondage Jesus on your t-shirt is the new version of wearing your own face on your t-shirt.

Long live Acchan! Long live goth bondage Jesus!

(Nothing says confidence like wearing your own face on your t-shirt, but goth bondage Jesus is cooler!)






2. It's never too late and you're never too old to begin your new career as a stripper!

No, you're never too old to be a stripper! Pick up a megaphone and howl it to the world!

Therefore, in honor of Mr. Sakurai's new career choice, we would like to present him with the following birthday cake, compliments of The Blog-Tick Phenomenon. 

But be warned, Acchan - there is a (g) string attached! Next tour, we demand Kurumi-print panties to match that jacket! Prepare for punishment if you don't deliver. Now eat up!

(On the off-chance that Mr. Sakurai reads Blog-Tick, please feel free to post your birthday messages to him in the comments section.)


Fangirls and Special Extras

First, we would like to call your attention to a new article we've posted over in the Features section of This is NOT Greatest Site. Entitled The Fangirl Phenomenon, it explores the genesis, behaviors, and psychological motivations of Japanese fangirls, and why fangirldom in Japan is something of a unique phenomenon. For those of you who love our long-winded pretentious pontifications, this is the longest-winded, pretentious-est, and most pontificable of the bunch! If you love the word "hegemony," prepare to wallow in it! (In fact, we are sincerely sorry we used the word "hegemony" at all, but it had to be done. To find out more, read the article.)

I know, it's really a shame that we haven't posted a live report yet. Trust us: we are working on the live report. But sometimes, a subject weighs so heavily on one's mind that it demands to be written about before anything else, and lately, for us, fan mentality has been that subject. It just won't leave us alone. We'd share the details of our travails with y'all, but unfortunately, they are far too personal for posting on the internet. Therefore, we felt moved to share this analysis with you, instead. After all, that's the android's best advice for overcoming that pesky human shortcoming called "having feelings": replace all those troublesome feels with a detached face of cool logical analysis. Emotions are for chumps! The way to true enlightenment is to become totally dead inside. #TotallyDeadInside.

Anyhow, mostly, this article is meant to offer you overseas fans some insight into the strange, arcane rituals and rules of the Japanese fan scene (we know those of you who've previously visited Japan may have been confused by this already). Though it's true that there are certain fangirl behaviors we don't support, this article isn't really intended to be a critical censure. We don't mean it as a personal attack on anyone (except for the girl who hit us over the head, but we doubt she speaks English). If you want to find out why it was she hit us, read the article. But in the meantime, just remember: if we actually hated fandom that much, we'd never have given you those pics of Acchan's thighs. Never forget it was us who gave them to you. Oh, and also - never hit someone unless you're prepared for the possibility that they'll hit you back.


Second, the album artwork and track list for for the Atom Miraiha live DVD are up over on the Buck-Tick official site, along with info on the various special extras that will be offered along with the DVD if you purchase it at specific record stores in Japan. They are as follows:

Tower Records: a special rubber-band bracelet
HMV: a badge
Tsutaya: a clear file folder
Amazon: a postcard
Shinseido: a sticker
Victor Online: a different special rubber-band bracelet

If any of you readers would like to reserve the DVD or BluRay through us, please contact us via email by no later than April 20th. In principle, we buy new releases at Tower Records - and one big reason for that is that Tower does more than any other record store chain to support and promote local talent. For more info on that, read this article. Viva those rubber bands, I guess.

Also, we've been getting increasing inquiries about reservations for releases by other Japanese artists besides Buck-Tick (such as My Way My Love's forthcoming cassette tape - yes cassette tape yes you heard right yes it's 2017 and cassette tapes are hot shit again what you threw away your old cassette player well too bad buy a fucking new one dammit guess you're not a real fan after all you're just a poseur.) We'd just like to let you know that if you're interested in reserving any other Japanese releases through us, including the work of indie bands, just let us know, and we'll do our best to help you out. Those of you who wanted u crack irigaru CDs: they exist, but are currently only sold on-site at the live shows. If you want them, we can get them for you. But be prepared to wait for up to a few months.


Third, please stop asking about Cayce's personal identity. As we stated before, Cayce is a non-corporeal entity whose consciousness was uploaded to the internet and now resides there permanently. Furthermore, the corporeal lackeys who serve as Cayce's boots on the ground shall remain faceless, ageless, nameless and genderless. If you can't deal with that, we'll have you stand trial before the Identity Correctness Committee of Buck-Tickistan for failing to respect our gender and corporeality identity. For the record, we identify as "Genderless Non-Corporeal Being" and if you ever so much as think of calling us by a pronoun, we'll be mortally (get it?) offended, so stop it with the pronouns right now. Japanese doesn't have pronouns, and neither does Buck-Tickistani, and neither should you.



Buck-Tick Quiz

Are you a newcomer to Buck-Tickistan, still working your way through Buck-Tick's vast discography? Are you a long-time fan who got hung up on one particular album and haven't listened to the others in a while? Are you using Buck-Tick lyrics to brush up on your Japanese skills? Do you simply really like taking online quizzes? Well, friends, you will probably enjoy this Buck-Tick discography quiz

For those of you who don't read Japanese, there are three quiz options, listed in order (the three blue buttons in the middle of the page).

Option 1: quiz yourself on Buck-Tick's popular hits!
Option 2: quiz yourself on Buck-Tick's b-sides and album tracks!
Option 3: quiz yourself on 162 possible Buck-Tick songs...this one is sudden death style, so if you make a miss take, it's game over!

Make sure you adjust the volume of your speakers before playing this game, because the volume is quite loud. Most of the song titles are written in Japanese, and some are only partial, so this is a great way to quiz yourself on kanji titles while enjoying the enchanting voice of Mr. Sakurai in bite-sized pieces. Even if you find this quiz to be a piece of cake, it will surely inspire you to go back and listen to all the albums you haven't listened to in a while.


Weird News of Buck-Tickistan

Since Buck-Tick's Fish Tankers Only Tour 2017 ended almost as quickly as it began, we've had precious little news from Buck-Tickistan, but for the following two strange announcements.

1. Between February 8th and February 10th, the Astro Boy x Buck-Tick collaboration goods (shown in the photos below) were exhibited in the Tezuka Productions general exhibit room at the 83rd Tokyo International Gift Show, held at the Tokyo Big Sight convention center. Since this is a trade show, it was not open to members of the general public, only to persons with business-related invitations, and at the time this announcement was made, pre-registration had already been closed. Therefore, it's a mystery why they bothered to put the announcement on their site. Was it an invitation to Buck-Tick fans who happened to be attending the gift show to come on over? Or was it simply a necessary bragging opportunity, since let's face it, Buck-Tick hardly ever get general exposure anymore? Either way, we're glad these Tezuka nerd goods are still hanging out in public where people can see them, because we don't think that the stares our tote bag attracts as we putter around our neighborhood grocery store really count.

2. On March 8th, Higuchi Yutaka will participate in a talk show sponsored by the music magazine Ongaku to Hito and hosted by Kanemitsu Hirofumi, one of Ongaku to Hito's senior writers who has covered Buck-Tick since around the time of their debut. Entitled "Just Before The Curtain Rises! We're Musicians Who Love Pro Baseball!", this talk show will, you guessed it, feature a bunch of musicians who love baseball, talking about baseball. Yutaka's been writing a monthly baseball column for Ongaku to Hito for years now, so this is really no surprise, especially given that his buddy Kanemitsu is involved. The performers announced so far are:

Ueno Koji (The Hiatus, Ka.F.Ka) - supporting the Hiroshima Toyo Carp
Okamoto "Moby" Takuya (Scoobie Do) - supporting the Chicago Cubs
Great Maekawa (Flower Companies) - supporting the Chunichi Dragons
Higuchi Yutaka (Buck-Tick) - supporting the Hanshin Tigers

Oh yeah, and it say in the announcement that Kanemitsu also supports the Hanshin Tigers. Is this going to be biased talk? Just maybe.

Amazingly, the tickets for this event are only 3500 yen plus at least one drink, but the thing is happening at Loft Plus One, which between you and us is a VERY small venue, so good luck getting tickets in the first place. Tickets go on sale from 10AM on February 15th through eplus. A disclaimer on the announcement reminds potential attendees that though the participants in this event are all musicians, they will NOT be talking about music UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, so don't let that get your knickers in a twist. But if you're aroused by the though of hearing Yutaka talk about some Serious Hard Ball, well, this is the event for you.



More Manga Smut by Cayce

Three more manga stories we had the privilege to translate have been released by Renta! comics. Blue Rose is a bizarre gothy boys' love story set in England, and if you love stories about faraway places written by people who've never been there as much as we do, you're going to love this one. Learn more here.

In addition to that one, we translated another story, Silent Submission, which is basically regular ol' het smut, but it bears the distinction of having a heroine who, unlike most manga heroines, is not a naive virgin, embarrassed blushing girlfriend, cute bunch of bubbles, or long-suffering caretaker type, but a sexually aggressive and ambitious lady who isn't afraid to snatch what she wants, even if it means being a manipulative schemer. Props to this story for playing to a different sort of fantasy than many of these types of stories do. You can read this one here.





Atom Miraiha Tour DVD: Deleted Scenes EXCLUSIVE

The Hisashi Inquirer is proud to bring this all-new EXCLUSIVE scoop, straight from the Royal Palace of Buck-Tickistan itself!

According to an announcement from the Buck-Tickistan Grand Vizier, on Wednesday, April 26th, Buck-Tick will release a new live DVD of their final live performance of 2016, that is to say, the tour final of the Atom Miraiha No. 9 Hall Tour, held on December 29th at the Nippon Budoukan. This juicy release will come in a total of FOUR versions, for the following prices: 

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition Blu-Ray 
- 10800 yen, including tax

Ultra Extra Special Limited Edition DVD 
- 9720 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition Blu-Ray
- 7020 yen, including tax

Ho-Hum Normal Regular Edition DVD 
- 5940 yen, including tax

In addition to the video itself, the Ultra Extra Special Limited Editions will include PHOTOBOOKS of photography from the shows, Ultra Extra Special SHM-CD discs of the live audio from the shows, and application tickets for an Ultra Extra Special Present Lottery.

Thus far, this information has been publicly available through the Public Relations Office of Buck-Tickistan...BUT! The Hisashi Inquirer goes ABOVE and BEYOND, to offer you more bang for your Buck-Tick buck! And this time, boy oh BOY (septem peccata mortalia) have we scooped!

This time, esteemed readers...THIS TIME, we offer you an Ultra Extra Special Live Photobook of our own: snapshots from STEAMY, SEXY DELETED SCENES you will not see on the DVD!!!!!!!!!!!


Like this one!!!! OMG look where he's holding that microphone! It almost looks like a YOU-KNOW-WHAT (and if you don't know what we sincerely hope you find out soon...)






But wait, there's MORE! Like this extremely small but OVERPOWERINGLY SEXYLICIOUS triangle of Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's clean, soft, firm and juicy femoral flesh!!!

Feast your fangirl eyes! Flush faint in feverish fantasy!

For fuck's sake, keep fainting and fantasizing!

You had better not be done fainting yet ;) If you were, well then...FAINT AGAIN.

Our on-the-ground reporter reports that Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan struck this particular pose while performing a secret never-filmed cover version of "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret (psst - don't tell mama about it!)






And if, esteemed reader, you're an ostensibly heterosexual male, feeling flustered at how fluttery these scandalous photos make you feel, take heart - you're not alone!

Massive attack! Feel so good! The day Mr. Yutaka "Serious" Higuchi's buttocks met Mr. Gothique Prince Acchan's thighs was an arousing, exciting, and pleasurable day all around! 

Let the fujoshi freak-out fest commence!!!

This concludes The Hisashi Inquirer's daily report...but don't worry, we know your fantasies have only just gotten started! And stay tuned, because we'll be back with more in the near future for future!





The above excerpt from The Hisashi Inquirer, 2017 No. 1 issue 3 was translated from the original Buck-Tickistani by Cayce. And between you and us, they outright stole our exclusive photos. But we're not going to bother them about it, because we're not going to rain on your Women's Parade this week. Share away, but please credit Blog-Tick.

Now go break the internet, already.