The Hisashi Inquirer Back Pages: More Sexual

Lifted from the back pages of The Hisashi Inquirer, where they print all the stuff that isn't fit for print:


The other day, a devoted reader of ours sent us this photo which she took while on holiday in Thailand. This is a photo of a real noticeboard really there in real Thailand, and has not been altered in any way.

But...why stop there? If you're going to conceive a child, surely you don't want to conceive just any child. Surely it would be far preferable to conceive one of the Buck-Tick members!

Industrial Sex...get Higuchi Yutaka!

Sex for You...get Acchan-chan-sama!!!

Sextream Streamlined Sex...get Imai Hisashi!!!!

Beast Sex...get Hoshino "Sexy Beast Hide" Hidehiko #sexybeasthide!!!!!

Wet Dream...get Yagami Toll!!! (bonus: only one person required for conception of this particular spawn! Amazing! It's a virgin birth!)

And if you need a little help getting started on your Toll conception, I suggest you check out some illegal livestreams of erotic banana-eating. Have you ever wondered why Toll likes to throw bananas into the audience at shows? Wonder no more.


Translated from the original Japanese by Cayce. Contents are property of The Hisashi Inquirer and we take no responsibility for them whatsoever. But if you haven't yet heard the song "Wet Dream" by Yagami Toll and the Blue Sky, don't wait. Go listen to it immediately. And then go listen to "B.A.K.A.T.O.L.L."

And I'ma just leave this here.


Schaft Report

Yes, it's been a long time in coming, but better take long and get off well than give up halfway and never get off at all (that's what she said!)

What am I talking about, friends?

What has finally come?

Why, Schaft, of course!

By which I mean, a LIVE REPORT of Schaft's Tour Ultra -The Loud Engine- is now up over at This is NOT Greatest Site. Those of you who thought we couldn't get it up in time thought wrong! The DVD doesn't come out till next week, so this is your sneak preview! And if reading the report doesn't convince you to buy the DVD that's coming out next week, it should. The concert was fantastic and the DVD is sure to be, too.

Just a reminder, for those who are interested in the DVD and/or mini album:

Entitled Deeper and Down, the mini-album will cost 2700 yen and come with a bonus DVD with a live PV of the title track, "Deeper and Down." The ten tracks are as follows:

01. Deeper and Down (lyrics - Yow-Row/music - Imai Hisashi)
02. H.N.A. (lyrics & music - Imai Hisashi)
03. Deeper and Down (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
04. H.N.A. (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
05. Arbor Vitae (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
06. Thirsty Fly (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
07. Broken English (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
08. The Hero InSide (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
09. Slice (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)
10. Cold Light (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

The live DVD/BluRay of the show held on January 28th at EX Theater Roppongi will be titled Archives 2016 Tour Ultra ~The Loud Engine~. The BluRay version will cost 7540 yen, while the DVD version will cost 6459 yen. The first press edition will come in special packaging and include a special booklet. The tracklist for the video is as follows:

01. The Loud Engine
02. Vice
03. drift
04. Anti-Hedonist
05. ReVive
06. Der Zauberlehrling
08. Leidenschaft
09. Arbor Vitae
10. Thirsty Fly
11. Swan Dive
12. Adam's Rib
13. Mi
....and more

If you'd like to purchase this DVD through us, we are still accepting orders! Just send us an email. As usual, we will be purchasing copies at Tower Records in Shibuya, so if you order through us, we'll send you the Tower Records limited edition sticker (for the DVD) and postcard (for the mini-album) as a bonus. Remember - Amazon may be cheaper in some cases, but they abuse their employees (read about it here, here and here!) not to mention pushing a whole lot of small business out of the market. Tower Records, on the other hand, as I wrote about in this article, has been doing an excellent job lately of supporting and promoting local artists and keeping alive the spirit of the community record store. If you care about ethical shopping, the choice should be clear.

Of course, it should go without saying that all profits from This is NOT Greatest Shopping Service go to support NGS/Blog-Tick...and we never abuse our employees except when we stay up all night reading articles for y'all, which we didn't with this article, we wrote it while sitting outside in the park smelling the flowers, so you can feel nice and ethical. (We definitely did stay up all night writing the articles about The Mortal but masochism is the name of Mr. Sakurai's favorite game so it doesn't count as abuse.)

Anyhoo, as always, leave your comments on the live report on this post, as NGS doesn't allow commenting. If you enjoyed reading, please leave a comment! We promise we wont make fun of you too much.

Goth Talk


In honor of the Wave Gotik Treffen and Gothic Pogo festivals which are happening in Germany more or less right now, we bring you an English subtitled version of the in-depth interview with Toll and Genet of Auto-Mod that was published in the Galaktika DVD magazine back in June 2006. In the interview, Genet discusses how he formed a friendship with Toll, and his first impressions of Buck-Tick's music, when he first went to see the band play during the 13th Floor with Moonshine tour. If you dispute what I wrote in my article So You Want to Be a Goth, here's a new angle - the opinion of Genet, Japan's Gothic Godfather. Translating and subbing this video took us quite a while, so be sure to share it with your friends!

Fun fact: Tokyo Dark Castle is still going strong. If you like goth clubs, be sure to check it out when you come to Tokyo - great bands, great DJs, strong drinks, lovely people and beautiful costumes!

Another fun fact: this interview took place at a small live house which Cayce has had the good fortune to visit many times. The tiles on the floor of this live house are patterned exactly like the tiles on Buck-Tick's stage during the 13th Floor tour. The bones are real, and still embedded in the wall.


Schaft live report coming soon!



How Goth Are You?

We jokingly mentioned in our live reports of The Mortal's tour last year that, before selling any tickets, they should have had fans complete a questionnaire to assess their overall level of Gothness. Only fans who could pass the test with flying colors (or flying shades of black and pale and hectic red, as the case may be) would be awarded with low numbers and/or front row seats. If the tour manager had taken our advice, the crowd would doubtless have been far more enthusiastic than it ended up being.

Don't believe me? Then note the below screencap from Immortal, and see how a total of three fans actually look like they're enjoying themselves. The song was "Shadow of Love," my friends. They should have been dancing, but no they were not.

But now, amusingly enough, in honor of Whitby Gothic Weekend, none other than the BBC itself has provided us with the gothic litmus test we were lacking. Too little, too late, but we're sharing it here so you can test yourselves, and perhaps even study up a bit for next time. Anyone who earns a score of 8 or above on the first try gets a good seat at The Mortal's next tour.

Take the quiz, friends. The Mortal are watching you closely to see how you fare.




Charities and Instagrams

Hey, folks. Things have been slow in Buck-Tickistan of late, but as Japan relaxes for the Golden Week holidays, we know that summer is just around the corner - which means that things are sure to be heating up soon!

Unfortunately, for residents of Kyushu, life has been a little bit too interesting lately. For those of you who never read the news, Kumamoto Prefecture, home of our favorite mascot, the adorable Kumamon, experienced one of the worst earthquakes in Japan's recorded history on April 16th. Because the earthquake epicenter was relatively shallow, the shaking was much more damaging than the shaking that occurred during the Great East Japan Earthquake of 2011. Shallow quakes are much more likely to damage buildings, and indeed, many houses and municipal buildings collapsed. Mercifully, there was no tsunami, but many people have lost their homes, and reconstruction is sure to be long and arduous. To add to the misery, the famous and celebrated historical landmark Kumamoto Castle was seriously damaged. Things are looking bad, very bad.

Earthquake damage at Kumamoto Castle

Every little bit helps, so we're pleased to see that Buck-Tick have expanded their charity goods sales to help raise funds for reconstruction in Kumamoto. The Buck-Tick web shop is holding a sale, including discounted tour goods and some of the charity items designed by the band members to raise funds for the reconstruction of Tohoku. All the profits from sales of these items will be donated to Kumamoto. Therefore, if you are interested in donating, this is one easy way to do so. If any of you would like to order items through us, we promise to donate the full amount of our usual shopping service fees to Kumamoto, as well.

Let's help Kumamon!


In other, happier news, This is NOT Greatest Site correspondent Kame is pleased to announce that she is now on Instagram. You can follow her HERE.

For those of you who don't already know - Kame is one of the original founders of This is NOT Greatest Site. She's also the illustrator of all the comics we have posted over the years (read a few here, here and here.) She's currently in the midst of a "100 Days of Instagram" challenge, so if you send her doodle requests, she'll draw them for you! The funnier the better!

If you can't think of anything, we have some suggestions:

- Toll in a bikini on the beach
- Imai waking up in a dumpster!
- Hoshino Hidehiko's all-j-rock allstar soccer team!
- The great Imai/Fujimaki/Jake/Murata/Acchan love snarl!
- Fifty ways to okay oneself to the fly high!
- Nishikawa Takanori without pants!

...and any other thing your crazy imaginations can dream up! Go nuts!




Snarl, love. Snarl.


The Garden of Earthly Delights

We have previously discussed Medieval painter Hieronymous Bosch's famous triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights (shown above) several times on NGS/Blog-Tick - not only were details from the painting used as part of the backdrop for "Baudelaire de Nemurenai" on the Arui wa Anarchy hall tour in 2014, but as I mentioned in my article The Cacophony of Mortality, Sakurai also invoked the image of the Medieval grotesque in The Mortal's song "Grotesque," and there's probably no painting in art history that's more chock full of grotesques than Bosch's Garden.

Since the painting is so dense with detail, most digital reproductions haven't been able to do it justice, and even those of you interested in finding out more about the kinds of scenes the painting depicts may have been stymied by everything being too small and pixelated to make out...until now!

Art history nerd Blog-Tickers rejoice: we are pleased to share with you this all-new incredible interactive digital version of The Garden of Earthly Delights, complete with narrations about lust, sin and damnation by an extremely grave British man (he even mentions Memento Mori!). Even if you don't think you like art or history, we urge you to check this out, if for no other reason than to search for the detail where one guy is putting a bouquet of flowers up another guy's butt. Also, we think we spotted some interracial underwater lesbian makeouts, but don't take out word for it, take a look at it HERE. Happy art-farting!

Above: Bosch details on the backdrop for "Baudelaire" at the Anarchy hall tour.



Shopping Service Spring Fever

For the first time in a good long while, we bring you a new This is NOT Greatest Shopping Service sales post! There are some items in here that we've never carried before and may not get in stock again any time soon, so don't hesitate! If you're interested in something, send us an email to reserve it right away!


Schwein Live Tour Pamphlet (Tour Pamphlet B)

This is the second of the two pamphlets released for the Schwein tour, and unlike the first pamphlet, which features studio photography and off-shots from PV filming, etc, this one is all hot-and-heavy live action, with some backstage thrown in for good measure. This pamphlet is by far the larger of the two, totally more than 100 pages of sultry steamy shutterbugging. It is extremely rare and we can't guarantee we'll be able to find another copy for a long time, so if you want it, now is your chance! Rare, out of print. Excellent condition, but the binding is fragile, so handle with care.
11000 yen.

P.S. For you new fans - Schwein is the industrial supergroup project made up of Imai Hisashi, Sakurai Atsushi, Raymond Watts of UK industrial unit PIG, and Sascha Konietzcko of German industrial titans KMFDM. They toured in 2001 and released a single album, Schweinstein, but no live DVD, so when it comes to a record of the tour, this pamphlet is all that remains. A true treasure!

What the hell is going on here?

What the hell is going on here?

What the hell is going on here?

If you want to find out, buy the pamphlet!


Chaos Tour Pamphlet

A large, glossy, beautiful photobook/tour pamphlet that was released for the 1996 Chaos tour, which Buck-Tick undertook to support the release of Cosmos. Since the Cosmos tours were never released on film either, this, too, is one of the only records that remains. Excellent condition, rare and out of print.
6000 yen

WORDS by Buck-Tick

This very thick, hardcover book published by the music magazine Ongaku to Hito contains a digest of all the interviews and photoshoots Buck-Tick did for the magazine between 1987 and 2002.  In addition to 64 pages of full color photos, it contains and extensive interview section with additional photographs and some very interesting interviews chronicling the band's history and recording process tour by tour. Interviews include not only the five Buck-Tick members, but also chats with Schaft (Imai and Maki Fujii), Schwein (Imai, Sakurai, Raymond Watts), and crosstalk between Imai and Hide of X Japan, and Sakurai and Issay of Der Zibet. Recommended for any fan, but especially if you are learning Japanese, this book is a great way to practice. The textured pages made it hard to photograph but the photos look very crisp in person. Perfect condition. Out of print. 6000 yen.

Thumbnail of front cover

Buck-Tick in the Turkish Desert (Shapeless era)

Darker Than Darkness

Aku no Hana

Backstage during the Mona Lisa Overdrive tour (hang in there, Acchan-chan!)

Oh oh I'm in rest room!

Imai in the meat locker

Imai Hisashi and Sakurai Atsushi as Daniel Ash and Young Lord Voldemort

Homo-eros with the guest vocalist and a MIDI guitar on the Somewhere Nowhere Tour!

Omg you can see all his moles!

Just two men, making takoyaki on the beach at night...


Warp Days DVD

Live DVD of Buck-Tick's concert Tour 2002 Warp Days 20020616 Bay NK Hall. In Cayce's opinion, this is one of their more exciting and dynamic live DVDs, featuring an unusual array of songs they rarely play anymore. One disc, region 2, excellent condition. No first press was issued. Track list below. Rare and out of print.
5500 yen

Shippu No Blade Runner
21st Cherry Boy
Warp Day
Aku No Hana
Shanikusai -Carnival-
Kyokutou Yori Ai Wo Komete
Long Distance Call
Love Letter
Baby, I Want You.
Oukoku Kingdom Come -Moon Rise-
Barairo No Hibi
Rokugatsu No Okinawa
National Media Boys
Hurry Up Mode


Aaand...some screen caps!

Mr. Sakurai can be seen wearing the custom-made Schwein tour ring.

Mr. Imai can be seen wearing futuristic robot makeup!

And Mr. Imai can be seen fingering his guitar, right in the F-hole! (Don't try to claim you haven't fantasized about this at least once. I know you're lying.)

And Mr. Sakurai can be seen pouring a bottle of wine on his head! He was partying like it was 1999 in 2002! Those were the days!

As they say in German, Buch Dich, Mr. Sakurai. Buch Dich.


Ai no Wakusei Explosion Live DVD

This is the live DVD of Sakurai Atsushi's solo concert at NHK Hall in 2004.  Reportedly, this concert was what inspired Imai to create the concept for the 13kai wa Gekkou album, though as the stage sets are minimal, I feel sure that Imai must have been inspired by Sakurai's performance itself. Sakurai is joined onstage by an all-star backup band, including Fujii Maki (formerly of Soft Ballet) on synth, Jake Cloudchair (formerly of Guniw Tools, currently of The Mortal fame) on guitar, Miyo Ken (also of The Mortal fame) on guitar, and guest appearances by Satou Taiji (Theater Brook) and Cube Juice. In addition to his own solo works, Sakurai performs covers of David Bowie's "Space Oddity," Sawada Kenji's "Love -Dakishimetai," and Yuming's "Amaoto wa Chopin no Shirabe."  The DVD contains the full concert, plus a live music video for "Wakusei -Rebirth," and a bonus image gallery. It comes in a smoke grey hard plastic case.  This is the original pressing of this video and the only available version of this concert on DVD, as the Ai no Wakusei Collector's Box that was released in September contains Blu-Ray only...and it's only going to get rarer as the time passes, so if you want it, the time is now. Very rare and out of print. Region 2. A must have for any collector and true treasure for any fan of Mr. Sakurai, including non-fangirl fans - it's a great show and a beautiful video.
9900 yen.

Front Cover


Track List

Wonderful World
Yellow Pig
I Hate You All
Amaon Wa Chopin No Shirabe -I Like Chopin- (Yuming cover)
Love (Dakishimetai) (Sawada Kenji cover)
Space Oddity (David Bowie cover)


Screen Shots


If you're interested in buying or reserving anything, send me an email at themadaristocrat at gmail.  If there's an item you're sure you want but you need a few more days/weeks to scrape together the cash, I suggest you email me and request that I hold the item for you, otherwise, there is a possibility someone else will buy it first. I sell all items on a first-come, first-serve basis. I'm willing to put items on reserve for up to a month.