These Mortal Lyrics, part 3


We have finished posting all the lyrics and translations for all the songs on the I Am Mortal album, which thus concludes our translation work for this project. Honestly we're kind of sorry to be done with this one, because these lyrics are so fantastic and the notes were so much fun to write. But you can keep the spirit alive (get it?) by posting your comments/discussions here, since Not Greatest Site doesn't allow comments.

As always, by all means, share the translations and lyrics, but please share by posting a link to NGS, rather than re-posting our content to your own platform of choice. We really spent a long time on these, so if you enjoy them enough to share them, giving us a little free promo is the least you can do. If you'd like to use the kanji elsewhere, feel free, but it would be nice if you could mention that we were the ones who took the time to type them up because frankly, typing up kanji is a pain in the ass and we're sure you're glad you didn't have to do it yourself.

Live reports will be coming soon, along with an album review/lyrics analysis article, by popular demand. But we're very busy, so please sit tight and wait for a little longer.



Eau de Mortalité: Review


Coasting on the runaway success of qüan vie nnâ sigue eÿe, more commonly known in Buck-Tickistan as Eau de Buc-Tique, Acchan-sama And His Band have upped their toilette game with the release of The Mortal, more commonly know in Buck-Tickistani as This Mortal Fragrance, or Eau de Mortalité

In the Fish Tank newsletter last year, Mr. Sakurai all but stated outright that he was the one who rendered the final aesthetic judgments on Eau de Buc-Tique - and no wonder, given that Pisceans are reputed to be unusually sensitive to the sense of smell. Whether or not that's true of Pisceans in general, it's surely true of Mr. Sakurai - if you don't believe me, just take a look at the number of references to scents in his lyrics. "Smell" is just the beginning! With Eau de Buc-Tique, Mr. Sakurai demonstrated that he's got a fine nose for perfumery, so it only made sense for him to broaden his olfactory repertoire by trying again this year, and since with The Mortal, he's the one calling all the shots, this time, he's free to sink as deep as he likes in the luxurious black mud of gothic decadence, with a new scent aimed squarely at the sad, jaded, and elegant gothic lady, dressed to the six-nines in mouldy frills.

Eau de Mortalité offers a far deeper and more sensual experience than Eau de Buc-Tique, starting with the packaging. While Eau de Buc-Tique stayed mod and minimalist with a classic, simple box design and pillar-shaped bottle, Eau de Mortalité isn't afraid of going a little over the top, as dedicated goths are wont to do now and again (or, let's face it, all the time.) Eau de Mortalité comes hidden inside a silky black cardboard coffin printed with different pictures on each side. The front features an oval cameo version of the poster from the PV set, with Mr. Sakurai holding up the skull in front of his face - you can't get more obvious than this, but you also can't get more honest, and the lovely composition and lighting of the image make it compelling rather than depressing - points for the homage to Victorian remember-me mourning lockets. The back of the box features a grayscale closeup of the skull with some blurred patterns reminiscent of the backdrop effects on the live tour...more on this in my forthcoming live report. The sides of the box feature the band's logo surmounted by a skull. You can't get more goth than this, and since that was the point of this whole Mortal project to begin with, this packaging easily earns full marks from us.

The Eau de Mortalité bottle itself is also silky, shiny black, with pleasantly rounded corners that give it a softer, more alluring appearance and feel than the sharp-edged frosted glass of the Eau de Buc-Tique bottle. The Eau de Buc-Tique bottle fit right in with Buck-Tick's Anarchy-era theme of Constructivist geometry, but Eau de Mortalité begs you to run your fingers over its gentle curves as you ponder the sweetness and pain of your brief passionate life - though mind you don't leave fingerprints, as the finish of this bottle is as shiny as a mirror (then again it's a perfect place to catch the fingerprints of your beloved, if you feel so inclined.) The sensuality of the bottle continues with the nozzle, which is finished in shiny gold that glows invitingly through the crystal clear cap like that dream you just woke from. Truly, this perfume just gets better the deeper into it you go (that's what he said!)

On the front, the bottle features the band logo in white letters, surmounted by a skull and five lily of the valley blossoms, one for each band member. For those of you who were curious about the reasoning behind the fact that lilies of the valley appear throughout The Mortal's visuals: in the Victorian flower language, lily of the valley means "return of happiness." It was a symbol of both the Virgin Mary and of Jesus Christ, and is still commonly included in wedding bouquets in both France and England - most recently, Kate Middleton held a bouquet of lily of the valley blossoms during her wedding to Prince William. It is also said that when Mary cried after the death of Jesus, her tears turned into lilies of the valley, which is why the flower is also sometimes called "Virgin's Tears" - a nice allusion to the mother imagery that runs throughout the I Am Mortal album. The flower also appears in the line from the Song of Solomon, "I am the rose of sharon and the lily of the valley" - and for those of you not familiar with the Song of Songs, it's just about the smuttiest smut that ever did grace a religious text. Then take the following quite from the Christian bible:

"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

In plain English: lilies don't need to wear clothes, so why should you? The deeper we go into the symbology of this flower, the more appropriate it comes to seem...and it's also worth noting that lily of the valley leaves and berries are poisonous and if you eat enough of them, you will die.

Anyhow, back to Eau de Mortalité. Though the choice of name was obvious, given the number of Shakespeare references embedded in The Mortal's work to date, we prefer to believe that the name was inspired in part by the following quote from Shakespeare's tragedy "King Lear":

GLOUCESTER: O, let me kiss that hand!

LEAR: Let me wipe it first. It smells of mortality.

We know that all y'all fangirls would kiss those Acchan-hands no matter what they smelled of (and frankly, that's just gross, y'all) but if you get Eau de Mortalité on your hands, they're sure to be three times as kissable! Though one might guess that a fragrance with such a funerary name might smell of roses, wet earth, swirling mists and cold salt tears, from first blush, Eau de Mortalité is nothing of the kind - and neither does it smell like lily of the valley, though that would be lovely in its own way.

Instead, rather than smelling like the graves of the nearly and dearly departed, Eau de Mortalité smells like all those things you think about when you pour your hot blood over your candles and pray at night: thick, velvety, and sexy as hell. After the initial alcohol vapor vanishes like a ghost, a spicy head of jasmine and pikake rises up out of a mist of vanilla musk, but it only lingers for a brief time - perhaps an hour, at most. As the scent settles, it flits through a subtle sweet incense phase before settling into full-on rich vanilla which spreads out and then turns darker by the hour. 

Depending on your biochemistry, you may find Eau de Mortalité heavier and longer-lasting than Eau de Buc-Tique - when we tried it for ourselves we noticed that though it appears to vanish after a few hours, the base note has a tendency to sink into the pores and return again later after a shower or a good sweat - Eau de Mortalité's undead! By the time this happens, the vanilla has developed shades of sweet tobacco, like the inside of an old cigar. Probably not the scent of choice for the average person, but after a long night spent swooping about the city, drinking blood and having sexy fun times with your candelabrum, it can be wonderful to retire into your coffin at dawn and find that the scent is still caught on you like the shadow of love. In fact, you may even still smell it in the folds of your cape the next evening, and we say, so much the better!

Eau de Mortalité is not a particularly original or innovative scent, but it doesn't need to be - it's classic. Though the copy on the band's website describes it as fruity, don't be fooled - this perfume is no fruit and in its early stages it has some serious throw. Eau de Buc-Tique works well for daily freshening up, but Eau de Mortalité, as might be expected, is a night fragrance. So if you're going to wear it out during the day, make damn sure you wear black, kids. This perfume is no hipster, it's a vamp: thirft-store granny dresses and Uniqlo puffer jackets need not apply! And if you're wearing this fragrance and you're a man, we expect you to show up with freshly done eyeliner.

In short: we love it. But if you say "Siouxsie who?" when we say Siouxsie Sioux, you should probably skip it. In fact, you probably should have skipped the entire Mortal tour. Go goth or go home!

Live report coming soon.



These Mortal Lyrics, part 2


In case you hadn't noticed, I have posted translations of all but the final three songs on I Am Mortal over on This is NOT Greatest Site (the final three will be coming soon!) Since NGS doesn't allow comments, please leave your comments here.

As you can perhaps imagine, I spent quite a dear bit more time writing the notes than writing the translations...so if you enjoyed reading, please leave a comment to give me some reason to carry on living before the mortality angst swallows me whole.



Tower Records...


Thanks for all your good wishes!

They paid off.

Report of The Mortal's Tower Records mini-live, coming soon.

P.S. I have no idea who the person in the photo is. But congratulations, now you're famous.


P.P.S. I know the stage was low, folks. I know the band were quite literally close at hand. In fact, we saw what you did there. We saw your hands attempt to go all over said band...and by band, I mean, one man...you know which one! But know this: that man wears pasties on his nipples in preparation for situations like these, so no matter how much your searching hands try to pinch them, you will never find them. You search in vain.



寿記 13.11.15 Fine, a Supplement!


Today, there was a meeting

And afterward, when we'd all said goodbye and I was preparing to go home,

One of our staff members stopped me.


Staff Member: "...some fans who have been reading your blog have sent inquiries..."

Me: "...inquiries?"

Staff Member: "Yes...um...about your last post...things like 'who is the person next to you,' 'is it your wife?' 'I'm shocked!' ...we've gotten a lot along those lines."

Me: "Whaaaaaaat~~!? What do they even mean?"

Staff Member: "What shall we do?"

Me: "What do you mean what should we do. There's nothing to be done. We'll just tell them who it is. I'll say it on my blog."

Staff Member: "Roger."

Me: "God, I really can't believe this. This is insane. There is no way in hell that is my wife....honestly!"

This is pretty much how I felt as the staff member reported to me on all the various comments which had come in.


Why is why I'm going to tell you straaaaaaaaaaight.

 It's Fujii Maki, with whom I am currently working on the Schaft project.

Schaft had a video shoot~.

For a PV, and other stuff~.

And we took the photo as a joke during the shoot~.


Ah, this is a pain in my ass.



By the way, the PV is gonna be awesome!!


IMAI 23:53

Cayce, to Imai: I couldn't love you more if I tried.

And to the rest of y'all fangirls: please. For the love of fuck. Kindly stop being so incredibly fucking stupid, all the goddamn time. I'm feeling dangerously close to the verge of literally not being able to even, and it's all your fault.

Check out the picture here.


We Are Mortal


Tonight was the night, folks, and as we made our way to Tower Records beneath the picture-perfect roiling clouds and rain-soaked sky, the first thing we noticed upon arrival was this sign over the door (salaryman shown for scale.)

Yes, that's right, folks. Not only did it rain in a deliciously languorous and existentially despairing sort of way all day long, tonight was a Tower Records party in The Mortal's honor! The display advertising the new album was right smack in front of the main entrance, thus:

The writing beneath the 3D foam core cutouts of the band members reads, "The Mortal's Long-Awaited First Album: aesthetics to the max! The dark and altogether too-gorgeous songs are so sexy you'll tremble!" Somebody at Tower is a major Mortal fanboy, and I kind of think it's the events coordinator.

But that wasn't all! On the wall facing the CD displays was this larger-than-life mural that filled the entire wall!

And if that picture doesn't convey how big it is, maybe this one will! (Mysterious hooded goth figure shown for scale.)



But perhaps the best moment of the night was when we returned home and attempted to rip the album to our computer using iTunes, and the Gracenote database came up with the track information. The listed genre: "Religious."

Welcome to the Church of Acchan-chan, y'all. Just stand under the rain, think about cats, look up at the moon, dream a dream, fondly remember your mother, devotedly kiss your pet skull, grab your own balls, feel vaguely aroused, and feel the prayer. PRAISE BE!


In other news, The Mortal have announced a new tour goods item: The Mortal Eau de Toilette. Ladies and gentlemen, I once again sincerely apologize for failing to predict this, as it's entirely too predictable. And congrats to Mr. Sakurai, because he's on a roll here - this will be the second corpse-themed perfume he'll have released in the past year, and I'm doubting even Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab can out-goth that one (n.b. to those of you who are currently in goth school and taking the elective course Image & Appearance 315 "Scents and Sensibility: A Guide to Gothic Perfumery" - this might...just MIGHT...be on the pop quiz tomorrow. You've been warned.)

From The Mortal's official site:

Eau de Toilette "The Mortal"
price: 6900 yen
volume: 50 ml (1.70 fluid ounces)
ingredients: alcohol, fragrance, water
made in Japan

To express, in a scent, the sensibility of The Mortal with Sakurai Atsushi at its center, Eau de Toilette "The Mortal" was born.

As time passes, the fruity, inviting scent transforms into a luxurious floral note underneath, with musk plucking the main melody on the strings of this sensual fragrance.

*Supplies at the live dates will be limited, so we recommend that customers order through the B-T web shop

What follows is an impressively long list of disclaimers advising that the perfume cannot be returned unless the item is faulty, that the perfume is flammable and thus cannot be shipped by air mail, and that fangirls should absolutely definitely most certainly not use this perfume if they have allergies, sensitive skin, or other relevant problems.

Sadly, due to Japanese law regarding transport of dangerous substances, this perfume cannot be shipped through the international post. Why is the perfume dangerous, you ask? Well, it's basically a DEATH IN A BOTTLE, you know. The name ought to speak for itself! Also, it contains alcohol and therefore they are afraid you might drink it (the Japanese postal authorities are well aware of the fact that all Buck-Tick fans are incurable alcoholics. They're remarkably thorough that way.) Also, this perfume is literally so slitheringly sultry and sensual and sexylicious that the authorities are afraid it might inadvertently turn into a SEX bomb and BLOW blow up any plane carrying it. 

So, sorry, fans. If you were hoping to buy this EAU DE MORTALITÉ so you could smell like Acchan-chan's armpit hair, you are out of luck. If you are were hoping to buy this so you could smell like the inside of Jake's moist and steamy knickers, you are out of luck...probably. But if you really, really want it, go ahead and send us an email and we'll see what we can do. International perfume couriers have been known to pass our way from time to time. Depending on what country you live in, we may be able to swing it.


That's all for now, more soon.


Schaft News


Not wanting to be upstaged by The Mortal, Schaft has released a whole slew of new announcements!


First, for those of you who didn't catch Schaft during their first tour back in the early 90's due to still being nothing but a latent possibility and vague tingle of lust in the gonads of your parents, now is your chance to make up for lost time! Schaft will be releasing a limited-edition box set of their old work. The box will contain FOUR whole discs, including one DVD with live footage from the first Schaft tour. While this footage was, I believe, available on VHS back in the day (omg guys remember VHS tapes???), this is the first time it has ever been released to DVD, so this is big news not only for fans of Imai and Fujii Maki, but also for fans of Raymond Watts, since he was heavily involved in the band's original lineup.

The box set will be released on January 20th, and cost 7000 yen including taxDetails of the contents are as follows:

Disc 1
A remastered version of Schaft's first album, Switchblade, first released in 1994

Disc 2
A remix disc including the following:
- All the tracks from Schaft's first remix album, Switchmix, first released in 1994
- The original version of Schaft's first-ever song, "nicht-title," originally released on the omnibus album Dance2Noise001 in 1991
- An all-new remix of "nicht-title" by Fujii Maki
- "SuperSchaftTrack," the remix offered by Schaft in 1999 for the zilch remix album
- A remaster of Raymond Watt's remix of "THE HERO INside"

Disc 3
A live CD recorded at Schaft's live show held at the Shibuya Kokaido on September 26th, 1994 (released to CD for the first time ever!)

Disc 4
A DVD version of Schaft's live video Switchblade -Visual Mix- (released to DVD for the first time ever!) The DVD also includes a bonus track of the PV for "Arbor Vitae"...and all I have to say is, fangirls, this collector's box is worth buying for the "Arbor Vitae" PV alone, because this is surely the only chance you will ever have to own a bona-fide DVD copy of Imai's one and only video appearance acting the role of a snuff-porn videographer. And if you don't find the very idea of that strangely titillating I suggest you leave the Buck-Tick fandom now.

As you can imagine, the box set will also come with an extra-super-duper-fancy booklet, though there is as yet no word on whether the booklet will include outtakes from the highly homo-erotic photoshoot of Imai and Fujii twined around each other wearing skin-tight ribbed tank tops that appeared back in the 1991 issue of Rockin' On Japan (the same issue also featured the now-famous photo series of Mr. Sakurai as pearl-clutching Yoshiki's personal European Nazi executioner/torturer as well as Issay dressed in a bedsheet doing a strip tease and a capsule behind-the-scenes anecdote in the back about Yoshiki locking himself in the dressing room to prepare, while Mr. Sakurai ranted to the photographers that he had been mistakenly labeled as the man in a tabloid scandal photo of a man and lady coming out of a love hotel, declaring "that guy isn't me, he looks nothing like me!" - as you can see folks, the 90's were exciting times so track down this magazine if you dare!)


Second, the release of Schaft's new album has also been announced! The album will be titled Ultra and in addition to Messrs. Imai and Fujii, it will also feature Yow-Row from GARI (best known to Buck-Tick fans as the dude who did the mixing for "Melancholia -Electria-"), Mr. Ueda from AA= (who performed at Buck-Tick's 25th anniversary festival), and Yukihiro from L'arc-En-Ciel and acid android (who I think we can all agree is much better when he's not encumbered by Hyde's icky twinkiness...sorry, Hyde fans.)

The album will be released on January 20th, same day as the box set. As usual, it will be released in two versions. The limited edition will include a bonus DVD and cost 3780 including tax. The regular edition will just contain the album and will cost 3240 including tax.

Also, regarding this album, Schaft would like you to know that they most certainly very definitely DID NOT steal the title from Depeche Mode. Who would ever do a thing like that. After all, it's not like Mona Lisa Overdrive was the title of novel by William Gibson or anything.


Third, in addition to the three tour dates already scheduled, Schaft have announced that they will be playing an additional two shows, as follows:

Sunday, January 24th - Yokohama Bay Hall (open 5PM/start 6PM)
Monday, January 25th - Liquidroom Ebisu (open 6PM/start 7PM)

For those of you who were twisting yourself into knots trying to skip work because all the fucking Mortal gigs AND all the fucking Schaft gigs are on fucking weekdays, now is your chance to see Schaft on a Sunday...but act fast! The pre-sale ticket lottery through Schaft's official website will be taking place between November 6th and November 16th, and this will be your best chance to get tickets, especially for the Liquidroom show, as it's a tiny venue and likely to sell out immediately.


Aaaand...that's all for now. But there will surely be more to follow soon. If you would like Cayce's help or advice with ordering the tour tickets, the box set, or anything else, email us at themadaristocrat at gmail.

And yeah, I get it, folks. You don't care much about this, because you only care about Acchan-chan so as far as you're concerned Imai on his own is nothing but a weird guy who kind of looks like a potato who woke up in a dumpster after spending a whole night listening to a lot of bleepy-bloopy music that only really makes sense if you're high on acid. But if that's your not-so-secret opinion, shame on you. You should care about this. Because in addition to being a dumpster-clad acid potato, Imai is a once-in-a-generation genius and this is probably Schaft's swan song so it's well and truly history, and since someday, if you're lucky enough not to die young, you, too, may wake up in a dumpster to find yourself old and wrinkly and friendless, so the time to live is now, my friends. You should care.

Let's see some love for Imai in the comments section.