20.1.17

Fish Tanker's Only 2017 Goods

In honor of their 30th anniversary, the Buck-Tick members have turned into officially licensed anime characters designed by the late Osamu Tezuka from beyond the grave! What they will look like is still a mystery...but tomorrow, we'll get to see them live on stage in their new forms for the first time ever! Meanwhile, as a lead-up to this startling turn of events, they have released the designs for the tour goods to be sold at the upcoming Fish Tanker's Only Tour 2017. If you'd like us to help you buy any of the following items, let us know asap!

First, just look at these cool t-shirts:

If you wanted a black version of the Astro Boy t-shirt sold at the Budoukan, here's your chance. It's even one of those long A-line shirts that are so in fashion right now. It's one size fits all and 4200 yen.


Alternatively, if you like your band members a little more realistic, you'll love this new version featuring Tezuka-style band members (click to enlarge). Just check out Sexy Beast Hide's hair! This one's only 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, and large. If you'd like to order from us, don't forget to specify size.

And some more non-shirt goods besides:



But if you like to have your cake and eat it too, why not go for the tote bag that has the Astro Bucks on the front and Tezuka-Tick on the back! 2000 yen, made of cotton.


If you want to dry your naked boobies on a towel featuring the new anime B-T, this is the towel for you. We're sorry we verbally sexually harassed you by making reference to boobies. Plus it was awfully sexist of us to assume that you, a figment of the internet, are a boobies-having person. Sorry again. This towel is 2000 yen and 100% cotton.

And some band member produced goods:

This cool bandana by Imai will not give away that you're a Buck-Tick fan, but it is covered with subtle Climax Together crosses so you can be both religious and climaxing wherever you go! Bonus points if you either 1) tie this bandana around your face bandit-style or 2) use it as a makeshift wrapper for your home-baked "special" brownies. 2000 yen and 100% cotton.


Look, star chocolates by #SexyBeastHide! Just in time for Valentine's day, too! This is the bestest, perfectest passive aggressive Valentine's day gift ever: there is literally no better way to say to your sweetie "baby I love you, but I love Hoshino Hidehiko even more." Highly recommended for everyone whose relationship has gone on too long. 1200 yen. Contains six chocolates.

If you can't get enough of Toll's pussyhawk, what about these pussyhawk pins? They're each about 2cm tall and made of stainless steel. This, like the chocolates above, is a great passive aggressive way to show how much cooler you are than all those desperate fangirls who bought Kurumi t-shirts as a way of feeding their sad fantasies about being close to Acchan. Everyone cool knows that Toll's the one who knows how to treat a pussy right. 1500 yen.

This tour's goods are also heavy on holders and cases:

Here's a better photo of the wildly popular pink ticket holder! If you want this one, ask me asap because this thing has already sold out from the web shop like three times. 1500 yen and made of "vegan leather" which is really just a pretentious way of saying it's not made of leather it's made of a non-renewable fossil-fuel based product, i.e. PVC.

And the trading card case. It will hold your "compu' set, if you be the collecting type. 1500 yen and made of pretentious not-leather.

Then again, if you're the type who likes to wear your Buck-Tick tickets around your neck at all times instead of your work ID badge, this is the ticket holder you probably want, since it comes with its own lanyard. 2500 yen, and it has a zipper so you can stash cash in it, too.

Oh yeah, and ALL the Kurumi goods:

If you haven't had enough of Mr. Sakurai's pussy yet, here's more of her. But between you and us, we'd like to remind you that this is the oldest capitalist strategy in the book: translating your unrequited pussy-lust into cold hard yen.

This cloth-covered mirror is 13 x 16 centimeters and it has Kurumi all over it. 2000 yen.

The same Kurumi t-shirts that were available at the Budoukan are still available. The top one is 3800 yen and comes in medium and large. The bottom is 4200 yen and one size only.

And more stuff that was available at the Budoukan:

Hide Hipster Glasses! 3800 yen.

Toll Pussyhawk smartphone case! 3000 yen. 



Imai Atomu shirt! 3800 yen and comes in small, medium, or large.

And Serious Astro Yutaka! 1500 yen.

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If you want any of this stuff, email us at themadaristocrat at gmail. The sooner the better.

7 comments:

  1. By now, I kinda feel sorry for Kurumi-chan...

    I hope you'll have a great time and have less nasty experience with the rabid fangirls & security folks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do you feel sorry? I imagine the Sakurai family is filled with love for her.

      I have to say that I do find it odd that the bowler hat and bow are missing from the mirror.

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    2. Of course the Sakurai family aren't filled with love for her. She's the homewrecker who stole Acchan! She took off the hat and bowler once he rescued her from the brothel where he found her and made her his fawned-upon mistress...

      Delete
    3. And you shouldn't feel sorry for her either. Her brothel life may be behind her now, but she's still a whore for fame >:] #trashonKurumi #thisisajokeifyouhadntalreadyrealized

      Delete
    4. Haha exactly that... whore for fame (and a wide range of marketable-product possibility for Achhan's fans)

      Delete
  2. I want to tie that bandana around my face and punch Richard Spencer B-T style. :3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gif it to a soundtrack of "Future Song" :D

      Delete

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