KAME'S HUGE (tiny apartment) J-ROCK BLOWOUT SALE!!!11!!1 EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!!11111oneoneeleven!!1omgwow

Oh hello there, Not Greatest Denizens! It's Kame, your once prodigal webmaster here to present a HUGE (tiny apartment) J-ROCK BLOWOUT SALE EVERYTHING MUST GO omg!!!!1111!! WOW SUCH CDS MUCH SALE!!!!11!!!! Those of you who have been stalking the site well enough for long enough know that for the last five years, I've been living in the great and glorious city of San Francisco where I have made a life of rolling my eyes at tech bros and crying over my rent check every month. Well, as enviable a lifestyle as I know that is, I decided I was ready to move on from a land of endlessly riding public transportation that is always broken and smells of human waste (sometimes, those two points are related!) So the time has come to sell off most my belongings and go commune with some tree spirits in southern Honshu for a year or two. Why would I move to Japan but go live in a place where I can't go see every single Buck-Tick show ever and creep through Acchanchansama's trash every night? Duh so the tree spirits will realign my chakras or some shit and I'll finally be more spiritual than all the rest of these California ultra-spiritualists put together* (#lifegoals). Anyway, on to the sales:

Everything will be shipped from California (tokens of fake spiritualism may be included for a small extra fee). Shipping within the US will probably cost around $5-$10 (this is an estimate, not a gurantee) through USPS, more if you live outside the US. You may also choose domestic or international shipping options through UPS, but I'm not familiar with their prices so feel free to research. Email Cayce to place an order as you normally would through Not Greatest Shopping Service and Cayce will connect me with you. I'm not including my email on this post for spambot avoidance.

Orders MUST BE PLACED BY JULY 7 (wow such capslock). After that everything is going into storage. I can still take orders after that, but it might take a year or two to fulfill them.


Crack 6 – Fight Without Frontiers (album, 2005)
Autographed. Out of print. Obi included. Crack 6 is Chisato from Penicillin doing his not-Penicillin thing. This album was one of their first releases and is out of print. Hot shit. Did I mention it's autographed? By the whole band? Duuuude. 500 yen.


Malice Mizer – Merveilles (album, 1998)
2nd pressing. Obi included. Along with a fragment of Gackt's plastic soul. 600 yen.



Malice Mizer – Bara no Seidou (album, 2000)
2nd pressing with slipcover. Obi included. No Gackt, but this album will inspire you to dance circles under the moonlight as you toss rose petals onto the fake gravestones you purchased at Target last Halloween and who needs a Gackt soul for that. 500 yen.



Moi dix Mois – Dix infernal (album, 2003)
2nd pressing. Includes obi and concert advertisement from 2003. Fun fact: if you use images from this album's booklet on your honors chem report about getting high on dextromethorphan, it makes your highschool classmates veeeerrrry uncomfortable. 500 yen.



Plastic Tree – Parade (album, 2000)
2nd pressing. This is the original Warner Music release that went out of print in the early 2000s. Not the priced down re-issue. What's the difference? I have no idea. I've never seen the re-issue. But hey, you can own a piece of Plastic Tree history today!!! (Not to mention a treasured relic of Kame's angst ridden teen years)** The case is cracked in front (see photo), a remnant of the astounding professionalism that was once known as JpopHouse. But the CD is in spiffy condition. 400 yen.

** Don't let my sarcasm throw you off. This is a seriously good album. I'm only selling this angst relic because I somehow ended up with two copies of it. IT'S THAT GOOD.



Plastic Tree – Aoi Tori (single, 2002)
2nd pressing. Out of print. Does not include obi cover with fangirly photo of Ryuutaro's hot lips from the 1st pressing. 300 yen.



Poplar – Amaterasu (album, 2005)
Autographed. Includes obi and band sticker. Poplar was (is?) a rock-rap duo (plus badass kimono clad female guest vocalist) from Kyoto. Search "neopoplar" on YouTube for more information. Probably out of print since the label doesn't appear to exist anymore. Autographed by all members. 300 yen.



Mechanical Panda – Fake (single, 2005)
Autographed. Out of print. A rare specimen of the illusive species all-female visual kei bandus. Autographed by both kickass lady members. That is a literal statement, not a euphemism. 200 yen.


*Ok so true story: One of my neighbors is a Freemason. His partner, who lives with him, is kind of sort of a practicing Pagan, but as she put it, "it's really just a matter of celebrating the holidays, nothing more." They are both lovely, dear people and not who this story is actually about.

Because they also have two roommates. A gay couple, one works in tech and the other used to be in musical theatre or something and now he does under the table voice lessons. Like, can you be any more San Francisco than a gay couple consisting of a techie and a musical theatre guy? Maybe. But they'd have to be polyamorous bi-racial.

Now for some reason, Ex-Musical Theatre Guy can't wrap his head around Sortof Practicing Pagan having anything to do with Paganism, without belieivng that she is a full-blown Wiccan witch lady. She kept trying to correct him on this for a while, but eventually gave up and now just lets him believe that she's out on the back porch brewing potions and summoning the Goddess at odd hours of the day when she's really just watering the catnip.

Well recently, Ex-Musical Theatre Guy found out the dirty secret: that the Freemason is a Freemason. There had been roommate tensions brewing already, and this just took the cake. So Ex-Musical Theatre Guy confronted Sortof Practicing Pagan about her boyfriend's evil treachery. Accusing him of lying about many things and getting up to all sorts of occult evil nonsense, like everyone knows the Freemasons do.

"And you, as a good Wiccan witch, ought to be a aware of this," he added.

So Sort-of Practicing Pagan then called up her Freemason boyfriend to demand why he hadn't been putting his evil powers to use all these years, since eveyone knows Freemasons have evil powers.

"Now hold up," I ask, "why is your roommate ok with your made-up status as a spellcasting Wiccan witch, but not ok with your boyfriend's made-up occult practices?"

Well, it turns out, because Wicca has the whole do-no-harm-to-anyone thing going on. So apparently Ex-Musical Theatre Guy is only comfortable having any associations of the occult around him if he can fully believe that the practitioners are bound to that rule. You know, for casting all those catnip Goddess spells that are totally happening on the back porch. Right. Now.

So the Freemason began casually leaving Freemason books visibly sticking out of his bookbag by the apartment's entrance. The Ex-Musical Theatre Guy kept quietly hiding them from sight by piling shit on top of them.

"So does your roommate have some kind of religion or faith that makes some occult shit ok, but others clearly evil?" I asked the Sort-of Practicing Pagan.

No one knows. It seems he's just... sprititual in some vague way. He's got spirit guides and stuff. He was going to the Unitarian Universalists for a while, "but then suddenly she stopped that and know one knows what happened there." (dun dun dunnnnn)

Now he's apparently got a prayer tapestry of some Hindu protector deity hanging on his bedroom door, I was recently informed. Presumably to keep the evil Freesmasonry spellwork out.

People, this is what roommate drama is capable of turning into in Northern California.

1 comment:

  1. I am happy to know you are coming to Japan, finally! Congratulations! Well, I always thought the Mason guys were in that thing for the money...


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