News From the Woebegone

Hello, Blog-Tickers! How've you been faring without us? Have Discord, social media and Google Translate rendered us obsolete, or are our B-T besotted shouts into the void still welcomed by a few distant ears?

The fact is, we don't care if we're obsolete. We're going to start blogging again like it's still 2009... because this year, our very own Blog-Tick Phenomenon will be celebrating its TENTH birthday (count 'em, one two three four five six seven eight nine TEN birthdays, kiddos!) and there is far too much going on in Buck-Tickistan for us to remain silent any longer. 

And if you are still out there listening, we thank you for your patience with our silence. It's been a long season in hell for us, and we're still living in the lingering shadow of our malingering malicious malady, so getting back into the normal swing of things is taking some time.

Anyhow, without further ado, the news from the woebegone!

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1. Dirty Talk Tomcat Roleplay

First, the old news: Mr. Sakurai's debut as a voice actor! And what role did he play, you ask? Why, a cat, of course! The animated film, "Neko Kikaku" ("Cat Plan"), was conceived and designed in Aichi prefecture using experimental animation techniques and a cast of Aichi-based voice actors. It was first screened in the fall of 2018 in Aichi prefecture, and was then brought to select theaters in Tokyo and Osaka in January 2019. Due to our illness, we were unable to go see it for ourselves in the theater, so if any of y'all can point us in the direction of where to watch it after the fact, point away. Mr. Sakurai doesn't play a lead character, but we're sure even without having seen it that he stole whatever scenes he's in.

When asked about the film for the Fish Tank newsletter, Mr. Sakurai said, "For this job, I already knew it was a cat, so I thought it sounded interesting. A cat? I asked, but they told me 'it's a voice role,' and somehow I thought that was too bad (laughs). But it was a good time." 

As of February, Sakurai stated that he had not yet seen the film... but the Fish Tank interviewer had, and confessed that hearing Sakurai's voice coming out of an animated cat's mouth gave her a "shiver of pleasure." Doubtless some of you have also seen the film, so please feel free to tell us what you think. Were there any shivers of pleasure involved? Post in the comments below.

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2. The Beast with the Rocks in His Soul

The second bit of old news is that Buck-Tick will be mounting a two-day concert series at the Makuhari Messe convention center on May 25th and 26th, with the cryptic title "Rokusu Sorusu no Kemono-tachi," which we're pretty sure translates to "Rocks Your Socks Like a Beast"... whoops, that was supposed to be "Rock the Soul of a Beast"... whoops, I mean, "Lock Stock and Bestiary"... whoops, what we actually meant was "Ruckus Suck Us Beastie Baes"!

Oh, wait. Mr. Imai resolved the perplexing question of whatever the fuck the katakana "Rokusu Sorusu" were supposed to mean, you say? He drew it in the Fish Tank newsletter, you say? It was really supposed to be "Locus Solus Bestia," you say? Ahhh... now that makes more sense!

"Locus Solus," which is Latin for "unique location," is the title of a novel published in 1914 by French author Raymond Roussel. The plotline revolves around a brilliant inventor demonstrating his mad science creations. The novel has been translated into numerous languages, including Japanese, and in addition to inspiring the title of a short-lived 1960's American experimental literary journal and a 1983 John Zorn album, it was also the inspiration for an episode in Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex Season 2. In short, it's got "shit Imai loves" written all over it in grease pencil. 

As for where the beasts come from, if you've spent some time on Not Greatest Site, you've probably noticed that Sakurai loves the words "kemono" and "kedamono" (both mean "beast"), and he's used them in numerous songs, from the eponymous "Beast" to "Kalavinka" to The Mortal's "Grotesque." More recent, and probably more relevant, are the uses of "kedamono" in the lyrics to "Septem Peccata Mortalia" and, of course, "Gustave." 

In addition to the lyrical references, the Buck-Tick members have been pictured as various animals on various sets of tour goods - they were portrayed as pandas on the 2014 Anarchy Budoukan goods, as crows on the DIQ 2015 goods, and as cats on the goods for the No. 0 Guernican Moon tour. Plus, Yutaka's got Serious Bear, Toll's got his Pussyhawk character, Hide has been impersonating a fox during the band's live performances of "Gustave" (like the foxy dude he is! #sexybeasthide), Imai has the murderous Teddy Scissorhands bear who's out to murder Serious Bear, while Mr. Sakurai is the most consummate Cat in the Hat since "The Cat in the Hat." 

All in all, bestiality is something the Buck-Tick members do well. NO! We meant that to be, "beastliness is something the Buck-Tick members do well"... wait, fuck. That's no good either. Our blogging skills are getting rusty and the meds are making us lose our memory! What was the phrase we were searching for? 

Oh, yeah: the Buck-Tick members are five sexy Sexy Beasts. Not that you'll be able to see them at Makuhari Messe, which is the size of a jumbo jet hangar. But no matter! No matter how far from the stage your seat is, the beauty of a live show is that you can always cheer loud enough to make up for it... that is, until some sourpuss fangirl mama whirls around to shush you, filthy gaijin, for having the chutzpah to be nakedly, brazenly having fun in public. (If this happens to you, we recommend you respond with that quote from "Septem Peccata Mortalia": "gomen baby, gaman dekinai yo, kedamono da mon! - I'm sorry baby, seems I can't hold it in, cause I'm a beast!")

Beasts to the beasts in Buck-Tickistan!

Anyhow, tickets for these shows are currently on sale for 9500 yen per day, plus fees. If you'd like our help with getting tickets, just shoot us an email. We're back open for business as of right now.

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3. Rondo and Night of the Beasts

If you wondered, back at the end of last year when Buck-Tick announced the Locus Solus shows, if the title of the shows would tie in with a future Buck-Tick release, you wondered correctly. Buck-Tick will be releasing a new double A-side single, "Kemono-tachi no Yoru/Rondo" on May 22nd. This will be their 37th single, can you believe it? Not only that, but "Rondo" was written specifically as the ending theme for the children's Sunday morning anime series "Ge ge ge no Kitaro," so you'll be able to see it there first. Next generation of Buck-Tick fans, ahoy! The fun starts now! Imai says that both the songs are extra catchy up-tempo numbers, and Sakurai told Fish Tank that "Rondo" is a typical Buck-Tick style dark fairytale, but rated PG, in consideration for the youthful audience. 

In addition to the two A-side tracks, the single will include a version of "Kemono-tachi no Yoru" ("Night of the Beasts") rearranged by electronic music artist and longtime Buck-Tick collaborator Cube Juice. The limited editions will include a DVD of the music video (videos?) for at least one of the songs, inside special packaging. The limited edition with BluRay will cost 2480 yen plus tax, the limited edition with DVD will cost 1980 plus tax, and the regular edition (without the music videos) will cost 1200 yen plus tax. If you'd like our help in ordering any of these from Tower Records to get the inevitable bonus items, just shoot us an email. 

The jacket art has just been released, and wow is it ever "Alica Auaa in post-apocalyptic video game wonderland"! (Fun fact: Cayce once drank tequila shots with the designer of Alice Auaa and picked his brains about his inspiration - he told us it was Depeche Mode.)

 We haven't seen word on whether this single will be available on international iTunes, etc., but since it seems that Buck-Tick's recent releases have been, that it stands to reason that this one will be, too.

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4. Tower Records Wants to Fatten You Up So You'll Fit in Better

Japanese fangirls will be the first to tell you that here in Japan, the nail that sticks out will get hammered in (or at least trash-talked on 2channel)... and the B-T fan who's too skinny will get fattened up! But don't blame the fangirls for this plan. This one is all on the Tower Records, which will be hosting a new Buck-Tick theme event from May 16th to June 2nd at the Tower Records Cafe locations in Harajuku, Tokyo, and Umeda, Osaka. No word yet on what the special food and drinks will be, but as before, they will be designed in the image of Buck-Tick songs, and/or suggested by the band members (for the drink selections). 

So, while we're waiting, anyone wanna take some guesses? How about "Igniter" brandy pudding flambe? Or what about the "Salome" head on a platter? (It looks remarkably like a human head but in fact, it's made entirely of vegan veggie sausage, so all you virtuous eaters can rest easy!) Ooh ooh I know! What about the "Gustave" special, produced by Sakurai - it's a WHOLE TIN OF WET FOOD, tuna flavored (your favorite! Go on, meow at me! Paw my legs! You'd better be cute enough to justify waking me up at 5AM, or you're not eating!) 

No way to be sure until the menu is officially announced, but we're confident that the predictions we made here will come true.

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5. Watch the No. 0 Live DVD on the Big Screen!

If you love being in a crowd of Buck-Tick fans so much that you'd be happy to stand in a crowd of them even when Hoshino Hidehiko isn't standing live in the sweaty flesh onstage in front of you wearing a really low-cut tank top, there are some more tickets on sale for special screenings of the forthcoming No. 0 live DVD, which will be held at select theaters around the country on April 18th at 7PM.  For those of you currently in Japan who didn't have the opportunity to attend the No. 0 hall tour final held at Kokusai Forum on July 26th of last year, these screenings might be the perfect opportunity to catch up on what you missed: being so far from the stage that you have no choice but to watch the band members on the big screen, and being in a whole theater full of grown-ass women who would in a heartbeat spend every penny they earn to traverse the length and breadth of their country just to catch a glimpse up the skirt of a 53-year-old man. 

No band members will be present at the screenings, but the tickets cost a whole 2500 yen anyway, because this was the only show on the sprawling No. 0 tour in which the Purple Cat's Eye of Sauron appeared, and as such, the screening of this film is a historical event and must be priced to match. Anyhow, interested parties can view the Ticket Pia page here. If you'd like our help with buying tickets, or with buying the DVD, just shoot us an email. (Real talk - we were there, and it was a beautiful concert. But the DVD is probably a better investment than the screening, since you can watch the DVD as many times as you like, and pause it when you get to the best bits, like the Purple Cat's Eye of Sauron.)

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6. More Metal than Ironman

Last but certainly not least, we'd like to wish a happy belated birthday to dear Mr. Sakurai, who has just assured the fanbase in the most recent issue of the Fish Tank newsletter that he's been given a provisional clean bill of health by his doctor as of the end of February. When asked why he made the choice to continue with performing the encores rather than stop the show early and go to the hospital, Mr. Sakurai replied that if he hadn't finished the show, he "would have regretted it."

The Fish Tank interviewer continues with a blow-by-blow account from Mr. Sakurai on just exactly what happened that woeful night at Zepp DiverCity, which goes something like this:

Happy birthday from us, dude. We've been plenty sick, but YOU were sick as fuck. If abruptly starting to bleed inside while you're onstage in the middle of performing then powering through the rest of the show by the brute force of your determination to live life with no regrets isn't the most metal thing any rock star has ever done, then it's definitely in the top five. 

And 53 is the perfect age at which to start painting your nails red.

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