24.11.16

The Ticket Fairy

.

Since we started This is NOT Greatest Shopping Service in summer of 2013, we've been pleased to help you readers and newcomers to this blog locate rare Japanese items, coveted new releases, and of course, the humdinger: Japanese concert tickets. Without a Japanese address and knowledge of the Japanese language, it can be next to impossible to purchase tickets to concerts in Japan without help...but have no fear, we are pleased to offer that help to you! This year in particular, we've received more requests for help ticket purchases than ever before, and to those of you who purchased tickets through us, we sincerely hope we were able to satisfy you.

At the same time, we know that for new customers, requesting this kind of service over the internet without a guarantee or reference from a trusted source can cause a certain amount of trepidation. It is our solemn pledge never to cheat, defraud, or otherwise do anything untoward toward our customers, but even though we say that, we understand that you don't necessarily have any way of knowing whether we're telling the truth.

Therefore, we have a favor to ask: if you have purchased concert tickets (or other items) through This is NOT Greatest Shopping Service and liked what you got, please write a comment with a few sentences about your experience, as a reassurance to future customers that we are who we say we are and we'll do what we say we'll do and we're not some kind of sketchy catfish scheme. If possible, please also include your name (handle is fine), the concert you purchased tickets for, and the name of your country. Thank you in advance for your help!

.

In other news, your fellow Blog-Tick readers have brought it to my intention that the following three concert tickets are in search of good homes. If you would like to adopt either or both, please contact us at themadaristocrat at gmail.

Buck-Tick
Atom Miraiha 2016 Tour @ Kyoto Rome Theater
December 8th


One ticket is available. A dear reader of ours was caught by difficult work circumstances and became unable to attend this show...help her out by snapping up this ticket for yourself!

.

Buck-Tick
Atom Miraiha 2016 Tour Final @ Nippon Budoukan
December 29th

One stage side ticket is available. The seat is on the second level, east side (Hide's side of the stage). Tickets to this show are mostly sold out so if you want to attend but don't have a ticket, this is your chance!

.

Nocturnal Bloodlust
New Year Countdown Live at Harajuku Astro Hall
December 31st

One of our readers was going to attend this show and then became unable to make it. If you're a fan of dark dramatic metal and you'd like to go in her stead, let us know. Then again we suppose all metal is dark and dramatic. But there's always room for more darkness and drama.

.

We look forward to hearing from you.

15.11.16

Cayce Does Luxuria

.

Of the deadly sins going around this year, we've certainly seen our fill of Superbia (an anthropomorphic orange kitchen sponge who has THE BEST WORDS is going to make America win so much it'll get tired of winning!), Ira (the way anyone with a brain feels about the former situation), and Gura (the Grim Reaper had already taken too many musical souls for one year even before he got to Leonard Cohen). However, Luxuria has been markedly thin on the ground.

If you're feeling frustrated about this and searching for a solution, well, we're pleased to say that we've got just the thing you may be looking for.

Those of you who've been reading NGS/Blog-Tick for any length of time are probably aware that in addition to being the English-language internet's foremost Buck-Tick Blogger (What a stupendous claim to fame! We're almost tired of being famous already!), Cayce is a professional freelance translator based in Tokyo, which everyone knows is a magical land full of Pocky and Pikachu and Godzilla and lots and lots of anime. In fact, it's a known fact that anyone who visits Tokyo immediately transforms into an anime character upon arrival in Narita airport, and I know that every Blog-Ticker who's made the trip over here to see B-T will back us up on this one.


(This artist is wrong. The reality is actually much closer to the image on the left.)

And though we're a very private person, we're now pleased to share that not only have we been living as an anime character since our own arrival in Narita in aeons past, but we are now actively employed in the anime business, or more correctly, the manga business. That's right, folks: since spring of this year, the services of your very own Cayce have been engaged for the translation of manga. Specifically, your very favorite kind of manga: smutty manga.

Publishing takes a while, and most of the titles we've translated so far are still in production, but in celebration of this new development in our career, we're pleased to announce the release of our very first officially authorized manga translation: The Rose-Cutter and His Love Slave. The platform, Renta! Comics, allows readers all over the world to purchase or rent digital manga that you can read on your phone or tablet, and as you can see, it's Luxuria galore. Though we take zero responsibility for the inconsistent quality of the art and writing on these stories in general, if this kind of thing tickles your pickle, we encourage you to check out the whole site, as they have oodles of titles available. Most are written by female authors and aimed at female readers, and we believe the content can be best summed up by this lyric from Buck-Tick's "Black Cherry":

You’re the honey, honey spilling over 
I’m kneeling, eating it like a dog 
Weeping in ecstasy

Oh, yes, kids. Don't stop, kids! Let there be pr0n!

For those interested, we will happily keep you updated on the titles we've translated as they are released.

For the fujoshi among you: there is yaoi coming soon.

And last but not least, for all you teen weeaboos who dream of translating manga smut for a living: yes, this is a real job that pays real money. It was our dream once, and look at us now! Like we said, Tokyo is basically a real-time anime in city form.

.

P.S. Fun fact: Cayce has actually slept with Godzilla in the Hotel Gracery Shinjuku (but it wasn't like that.)


10.11.16

Chandelier Lottery

Hi, folks.

As you may have noticed, everything is terrible. However, there should still be no reason why we can't have nice things.

As such, the wheels of capitalist opportunism turn apace, and this time, those wheels are grinding on the chandeliers used to decorate Yokohama Arena during Climax Together 3rd. As a part of Pia's Remember Project, various memorabilia items impregnated with bits and pieces of those chandeliers could be yours as keepsakes! Previously, the Remember Project has made memorial goods out of bits of the now-demolished Nihon Seinenkan, where Buck-Tick held their Great East Japan Earthquake charity concert in 2013. They have also made memorial goods out of the scrapped old seats from Yokohama Arena, bits of the now-demolished Hotel Okura, and bits of the soon-to-be-demolished Tokyo National Gymnasium. All they're missing are pieces of the now-demolished Shibuya Kokaido, may the dreamy cosmos have mercy on its soul. Why are all these buildings being demolished, you ask? Well, better to demolish them in advance than to wait for an earthquake to come along, right? Also, the International Olympic Committee demanded their destruction as blood payment for the sacred right to hold the Olympics in Tokyo. Wanton destruction is all the rage right now, so it's no wonder that Buck-Tick's management have partnered with Pia to demolish some of the Climax Together 3rd chandeliers in order to create limited quantities of the following eight select items, including miniature chandeliers and more. The items will be available through a lottery which opens on November 21st. All proceeds will be donated to post-quake reconstruction efforts in Kumamoto.

The items are as follows:


It's hard to see how this necklace includes a piece of a chandelier, but if you liked the Climax Together 3rd astral globe symbol design, maybe this is the necklace for you, if you have 11,000 yen to burn. Quantities of this item are limited to 1,000 only. For the price, you'd better hope the metal bit is real silver, but they don't say anything about that on the site, so it might very well not be.


Then again, if you have Ears of Steel, why not go for these chandelier earrings instead? After all, once you put them on, you'll look like a walking chandelier yourself, so maybe if you're lucky, Acchan-chan will decide to hang you from his living room ceiling. At 12,000 yen, the earrings are even more expensive than the necklace, but they have a more Climactic feel, in our opinion, so money well spent! Quantities are limited to 1,000 only.


Here's an item for fanlings of more modest means: a keyholder with a leather strap and one of the smaller chandelier crystals. These are quite affordable, at only 3000 yen each, but quantities are limited to 1,000 only, so if you win one, you're a lucky ducky.


If the above keyholder wasn't opulent enough for you, here's another fancier one. Look...the Climax Together symbol is cut into the glass itself! This one's a little more expensive at 3500 yen, and also limited to 1,000 only. On the plus side, if you win it, you could definitely take it apart and make it into a better necklace than the one pictured above.

And now for the mini-chandeliers! Honestly, we're not sure if these things quite count as "chandeliers," seeing as none of them could be hung from Acchan-chan's living room ceiling. However, if you're one of those Goth Lite people who never read Interview With the Vampire but liked the movie, proudly hangs your Edward Gorey calendar on the wall next to your coat rack hung with a rainbow of North Face anoraks in different colors, thinks Lorde's purple lipstick is really edgy, and found out about Buck-Tick through Trinity Blood, these are probably just about the right speed of chandelier for you.

Mini Chandelier A


Wouldn't this make a darling desk lamp? At 50 cm tall by 20 cm wide, it's just big enough to illuminate your smutty Toll fanarts and nothing else. At only 20,000 yen, this is a steal! Plus, it's engraved with the Climax Together logo and its own serial number. There are only 150 of them available. Fight for it, kids.

Mini Chandelier B


On the other hand, if you're the type who always wanted to try having a Beauty and the Beast-style candlelit dinner but is mortally afraid of real fire, this one might be the perfect choice. At 23 cm high by 11 cm wide, it's teeny tiny enough to fit on your dinner table. It's a little bit pricier at 24,500 yen, but there are only 19 of them available so if you win one you're a special snowflake.

Mini Chandelier C


If you liked the chandelier above but felt that it didn't really spread the crystals wide enough to make optimum cat toys, then this is the chandelier for you. Its side brackets are reminiscent of lily petal or jellyfish arms, and they spread those dangling crystals out so they're irresistible to cats! Bonus points if you shine a laser pointer through the faceted glass! Bengal kitties in particular are known for their need to investigate/play with/destroy absolutely everything in your house, so this chandelier might be your ticket to Acchan-chan's heart if you give it to him as a peace offering to replace all the chandeliers he has already lost to the wild and ebullient passions of Young Miss Kurumi. This one is also 24,500 yen, but more special, because there are only nine of them.

Mini Chandelier D


Aaand...last but not least! The Phallic Symbol Chandelier! This is Buck-Tick's Climax, after all, so you knew that was coming (no pun intended!) Its elegant, spidery legs call to mine the image of a lover up on tiptoe, trembling with anticipation, while its long festoons of silver crystals evoke a myriad of Buck-Tick imagery, from the Irregular Crystals of Love in "PINOA ICCHIO," to "Heroin -Angel Dust Mix-" to whatever those "countless crystals" were that Mr. Sakurai swallowed in "Glamorous" to that "sea spray" Mr. Sakurai was swimming in in "IN". This one's the winner. This one is going to make Buck-Tickistan great again. If, that is, you have the money: all 60,000 yen of it. And there are only nine of them. One for each of your nine new worlds. One for each of the nine lives you lost last night as you tried to kill yourself repeatedly.


.

But please, my American Blog-Ticker friends. Don't despair. As of last night, Buck-Tickistan have announced they will begin reviewing asylum applications from refugees fleeing the chaotic ravages of terror in the United States of America. Application forms can be downloaded from the website of the Embassy of the Anarchic Republic of Buck-Tickistan. If you need any help filling them out, feel free to ask us for assistance.

And if you like the look of the above items and you want a piece of Climax Together climaxing in your house forevermore, but you need help entering the lottery, let us know before November 21st. Like we said. Wherever you are in the world, we're always happy to help you climax.

.