Cat cat cat cat cat's Climax

Hey, kids! What with the perfume of spring hanging redolent in the air, the flowers blooming, and everybody out of work for Golden Week, it's not exactly a work-hard moment here in Tokyo, but Buck-Tickistan keeps disgorging its cartoon cats on us, and we've been remiss in informing y'all of the facts - sorry about that! It's nice to take a break from email and live a little, but seeing that our main job and purpose in life is feverish blogging about Buck-Tick despite the fact that we've never received any credit or great fortune from our efforts, we know that we have a duty to y'all to keep you hip to the down-low. And boy, is it down low.

Buck-Tick have released a great number of special goods items over the years - everything from wine to perfume to music boxes that play Jupiter - but even among those, this one is particularly special. Released as a limited edition tour goods item, and produced by hand in a quantity of 500 only with love and a sterling pedigree of traditional craftsmanship by an ancient Japanese lucky cat factory in Aichi Prefecture with a century of lucky cats and tacky deluxe character goods to its name, this lucky cat, reportedly modeled on Mr. Sakurai's own beloved lover and pet cat Kurumi, retailed for 16,200 Japanese yen, and each one came with its own serial number. However, you can't buy them anymore, because a few short hours after going on sale, they sold out.

Of course they sold out. Who wouldn't want a lucky cat produced by Mr. Sakurai! Lucky cats are cute, and Mr. Sakurai is even cuter! That lucky cat factory is the bestest lucky cat factory in Japan! It produces lucky cats from a great tangle of chugging brass gears, making sexy steampunk noises while doing it! What could possibly go wrong?

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This, kids. This is what could go wrong.

It is with great but mostly-fastidiously-concealed chagrin and distaste that we present to you the Sakurai Sphinx Sexmonster Fucky Lucky Cat, here to confirm all the Edo Japan negative stereotypes about cats, and haunt your Mumatic nightmares forevermore.

Yes, we know. Questions abound! Why, if this cat is based on Kurumi, does it have stripes and not spots? Why is this cat so fat, considering that Mr. Sakurai is a hunk of superhero muscle and Kurumi is a lithe and lissome minx? Why, if this cat is based on Kurumi, does it have Sakurai's terrifyingly human face in place of an ultra-kawaii feline muzzle? Why, if this cat is based on Kurumi, does it not only have a scarf sexually draped over its head, but also a strategically-placed mask positioned to hide its arousal? Also, why the fuck does that mask face look so much like Genet from Auto-Mod? That's so 2005, jeez!

Also, most importantly, how did dear Mr. Sakurai react when he first laid eyes on this design? No, wait - let us take a guess. He reacted like this:

Caption: "I LUV TROLLING FANGIRLS AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT. MOAR PLS. NOW TIME TO BUY SOME LACY WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR I'LL PRETEND I THINK THEY CAN'T SEE. BREAK, INTERNET! I PRITHEE, BREAK!"

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Congratulations, Mr. Sakurai. We're very pleased you've joined with us in the noble ranks of trolls, fighting the good fight and provoking reactions out of easy targets just because they're so damn easy. After fifty you have nothing to lose. Don't hold back! Let it all out!

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But if you think Mr. Sakurai is trying too hard here, we encourage you to cut him some slack. After all, he just finished a stint as an NPC in Crystal of Reunion, the game for which "Salome" (probably entirely inappropriately) was the theme song. In fact, there was a whole Buck-Tick tie-in for this game... just check out these B-T avatars! Sakurai looks like he had one of those terrifying jawbone-shaving procedures the K-pop kids are all getting these days! Lucky this is art and not a photograph!

As part of this tie-in, players could also equip their characters with a virtual "Stained with Blood" Maimai guitar, and a virtual "Tollhohawk Towering Through Heaven" with which you could break down walls!

But as for "Demon King" Sakurai, all he wanted was...

Photos shamelessly stolen from someone's Tumblr, we don't know whose. Sorry, Tumblr-er.

For those of you who wonder why Mr. Sakurai appears to be missing a few fingers... we don't know, but maybe one of the cats he petted wasn't quite so friendly as she looked. Then again, if we were a cat and someone named us Patty, we might have a fairly big chip on our shoulders, too. Kids, if you're going to name your cat Patty, at least name her Patti after Patti Smith. Or Peppermint Patty or something. Patty alone is simply not enough.

Also, wow, check it out! Crystal of Reunion is available in English! Turns out if you sell things to overseas customers, you can make more money. Amazing! How about that! Then again, I suppose Buck-Tick's management may be figuring that out, seeing as they ever-so-slyly uploaded a bunch of B-T songs to Spotify without making an announcement of any kind. Really, now! Itunes and now Spotify! I seem to recall Someone Who Isn't Me posting a public suggestion to that effect a few months ago! It's almost like they're reading this blog, isn't it? Hey, Buck-Tick's management: if you're reading this blog, why doncha send us a "thanks for the feedback," instead of lurking around like some forum lurker from the Geocities era, eh?

Also, to the Russians who criticized us at the time: does that Spotify in your mouth taste good? If you're not sure, why don't you forcefully stick your finger into Mr. Sakurai's mouth at a show and find out what he thinks? It may be sexual assault, but it also might induce him to give birth to a second horrifying monster for us all to enjoy. All's well that ends well, right?

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Anyhow, if all this madness weren't enough for you, it turns out that Buck-Tick will be releasing Climax Together 3rd and Buck-Tick: The Climax to DVD and BluRay after all. The release will be a two-disc set, with the first disc containing Buck-Tick: The Climax, and the second containing the live footage of Climax Together 3rd. The BluRay will cost 12960 yen, while the DVD will cost 11880 yen. Fans who reserve either item before May 20th will receive a bonus photobook. If you'd like our help ordering this item, just shoot us an email. For the full track list, visit Buck-Tick's web site here.

Also, folks, we hope you appreciated how somehow, Climax Together was the anti-climax of this post.

And if you'd like Imai's leopard print hoodie, again, email us. We're off for Golden Week from May 3rd to May 6th, but we will be back and bad and ready to take your orders on May 7th, so don't hesitate.

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Panic, Updates, and Reminders

Hello, folks. How is the August heat treating you? Here in Tokyo, we're hiding out indoors to escape 37 degree weather and 90% humidity... can't say how much we envy y'all South Americans who get wintertime in the summer!

Anyhow, the announcements from Buck-Tickistan continue apace. The track list for the 30th Anniversary Best Collection has been announced, so if you're curious, check it here. Also, if you're interested in reserving a copy of this item through us in order to get the promo calendar, please contact us asap, as time is running out.

In other news, a special program will air tomorrow at 10PM on NicoNico. If you're not able to watch at this time, make sure you sign up to watch it on Timeshift right away! The program will include a countdown of some music videos and live footage of songs on the best-of collection, as well as presenters reading the Buck-Tick members' responses to a questionnaire about the songs on the best-of collection. Why questionnaires? Because the real band members aren't appearing, folks. Perhaps it's because they're too busy recording their new album, or perhaps they, too, simply feel that it's too hot to go outside, but whatever the excuse, this is certainly another reason to be disappointed in the lack of 30th anniversary celebrations. NicoNico has gotten the Buck-Tick members on air many times before for what were some of the most interesting and memorable video interviews they've given in recent years, and it's a damn shame they won't be appearing this time. Instead, the special guests for the program are a trio of magazine writers who've covered Buck-Tick for magazines such as Ongaku to Hito, Fool's Mate, and Rock & Read: Imai Tomoko, Ookubo Yuka, and Masuda Yuuichi. For what it's worth, we can say that we've personally been out drinking with Imai Tomoko on a few occasions, and she's a smart cookie and very professional. However, if they were going to bother to interview magazine writers, it seems bizarre that they've left out Buck-Tick's number one journalist fan, Kanemitsu Hirofumi, who might as well be Buck-Tickistan's press secretary. Then again, maybe Mr. Kanemitsu has plans to go drinking with all the Buck-Tick members that night in secret, in order to skip being on TV.

In addition to the NicoNico special, another special program will air on August 31st on WOWOW TV, but since it's pay-per-view, it's much harder for overseas fans to watch. Plus, it's just a marathon of all three Climax Together videos, punctuated by a countdown of Best Buck-Tick Music Videos (TM). The band members will not be appearing for an interview. However, a second WOWOW program will air on September 16th, and it looks like the band members may actually be present for real on this one, in between clips of old live footage. Anyone who manages to p*rate this program, please share it with us because we don't have a television and can't be arsed to buy one just to watch WOWOW.

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Finally, we'd like to have a talk with y'all about anxiety. Lately, we've been getting a whole slew of emails from readers, many of whom are planning on traveling to Japan to see Buck-Tick, who have given us to know that they are panicking, freaking out, engaging in self-destructive behavior, and extremely concerned that Cayce may not respond to all emails immediately.

Folks, first of all - Cayce's very busy. We love hearing from you, we do. We read all your emails and endeavor to respond to them as quickly as possible. But the volume of email we receive from Blog-Tick readers has increased steadily over the past couple months, as have our IRL work commitments, and sometimes, striking a balance and finding the time to get to everything is difficult (unfortunately, we also have to eat and sleep). If you don't hear from us right away, please do not freak the fuck out. Barring emergency, we WILL get back to you in time to solve your ticket problems. If you feel like sending us a reminder, that's fine. But we assure you, there is no need for panic.

Second of all - yes, we get that traveling to Japan for the first time is a nerve-wracking proposition. However, the fact remains that giving in to blind panic won't help you. Here's what will help you: careful research. On this page, we recommended a number of useful travel-planning resources. If you are feeling anxious, we highly recommend that you allay your anxiety by arming yourself with knowledge! Japan is a clean, safe, efficient country, full of a lot of friendly, helpful people. The number of foreign tourists in Japan has increased drastically in recent years. Services for tourists are getting better, and locals are getting more used to dealing with foreign travelers. You're not the first foreigner to visit Japan. Plenty of people have done it before you. You can handle it, if you plan well. The number one thing that could ruin your visit if you're not careful is lack of sufficient research and planning. We cannot stress this enough. Ladies and gentlemen, do not freak out - READ. The truth will set you free... and so will taking the time to look at a map before you get on the plane!

Third, if you have anxiety problems, we urge you to find positive ways of dealing with them, rather than resorting to self-destructive behavior. Anxiety is normal and everyone experiences it to a degree at times. If you think everyone around you looks chill and like they have their shit together while you're a total mess - that's probably a misperception on your part. Lots of people who appear calm on the surface are hiding all kinds of worries inside. You are certainly not alone in worrying about things, or in feeling socially awkward. Everyone, literally everyone, feels socially awkward sometimes. Why? Because it's tough to live in society. People are judgmental and they don't say what they mean and it can be confusing as hell, but do not, I repeat, do not, allow your superficial sense that other people are doing better than you are to ruin your self-confidence or self-esteem.

It's disturbing how many people these days, especially young people, seem to think that they're alone in struggling with depression, anxiety, social phobia, etc. You're not alone, kids. A lot of people are struggling with the exact same things that you are. Secretly, no one has any idea what the fuck is going on. Fake it till you make it is actually a pretty good strategy a lot of the time. Also, so many people lie about being happy and successful. Almost nobody's life is as great as it may look from the outside. Just look at Mr. Sakurai. He's got beauty, brains, fame, wealth, and an adorable cat... and he still struggles with depression. The things that cause depression run much deeper than superficial achievements.

If you see other people around you achieving more than you're able to, because some days, you're too anxious to go out the door, stop paying attention to those people. You have your own path to walk and your own dragons to fight. And I guarantee that you also have something unique and special to offer the world, that no one else can offer. You just have to find out what it is. Plus, judging people based on their productive output or high achievement status is a profoundly fucked up capitalist neo-liberal way of seeing the world. Take a look at the lyrics to "Only You" one more time. You're the only one of you there will ever be, and that makes you awesome! You don't have to earn your right to be alive. You have inherent worth and dignity and a fundamental right to exist.

So take a deep breath. Sit still for five minutes and look at some flowers. Have a cool drink of water or a cup of tea. Remind yourself that you're still alive and the world is still turning, and fuck yeah, you're going to Japan and you're going to have a blast!

Oh yeah, and turn off your screen for a moment. Stop looking at social media, stop checking your phone. Go for a walk, read a book, cuddle with a pet, take a hot bath, go to the gym, cook a nice meal, chat with a friend or family member face to face. Social media and constantly checking devices is liable to instill anxiety in even the calmest person.  Love yourself and take care of yourself as you would a friend or family member. Be your own best friend. Find ways of reminding yourself that you're not broken and you're not alone. Holding yourself to impossible standards by using social media to compare yourself to models, celebrities, and high school classmates who got famous will not do this for you.

Also, even if your anxiety is at the level of clinical diagnosis and you use medication, that does not mean that simple things like breathing exercises, taking walks outdoors, and chamomile tea won't help. Healthy life habits and compassionate self care are good for everyone, clinical diagnosis or not. Western medicine loves to pretend that drugs are the only thing that can help mental health issues, because drug companies make lots of money that way, but generalized anxiety disorder, panic syndrome, etc. are not "curable" conditions, not in the sense that tuberculosis or strep throat are curable. Mental health issues are chronic. They never go away entirely, but the symptoms can be mitigated through good management. Maybe medication is a part of good management. But taking care of your overall physical and mental health is always a good thing, full stop. You know how you're less likely to catch the flu if you're getting enough sleep every night and not feeling stressed out than you are if you're working crazy hours and using energy drinks to stay awake? Mental health is no different, folks.

Anyhow, one strategy we recommend for dealing with anxiety in the face of new situations such as foreign travel is to organize your worries by writing them down. Rather than sitting there in blind panic listening to a white buzzing in your ears, get out a notebook or your laptop and write down a list of the things that are actually worrying you. For example:

- I'm afraid I'll get lost

- I'm afraid I won't know how to act at the concert

- I'm afraid I won't be able to communicate

- I'm afraid I won't be able to find the right train

Et cetera. Next, find ways of addressing these concerns one by one. Identifying the source of your worries can make them a lot less scary, and making contingency plans can help you feel more in control. In fact, we included a lot of information on Not Greatest Site to help you deal with fears like this, so please go ahead and consult our Japanese Concert Guide and So You Want to Visit Japan to See Buck-Tick sections. Also, the internet is your friend! There are loads of great sites out there to help you plan your trip to Japan. Google them! If you're an anxious person in general, nothing will take away that anxiety completely, but cool-headed planning can do a lot to lower your overall level of trepidation. If you're freaking out about worst case scenarios, come up with some emergency plans for what you'll do in case the worst occurs. Carry a phrasebook, a toothbrush, a change of underwear, and extra cash yen on you, and you'll be prepared for anything. Just don't forget your towel :)

Finally, if you have specific questions that we haven't answered on Not Greatest Site, please do write to us. If you think there's an issue we haven't properly addressed but should address, let us know. We aim to be helpful. And on that note...

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And once again...

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Once more, with feeling...

It's physical neurose, oh too blue sky. This is Cayce, signing off.

Climax on the Screen

The latest news from Buck-Tickistan - Fish Tank is currently offering advanced ticket reservations for Buck-Tick: The Climax. Ticket reservations opened April 15th, and will remain open till May 10th, only on Fish Tank Web. The film will be screened between June 24th and July 7th, at the following theaters:

Shinjuku Wald9 (Shinjuku, Tokyo)

109 Cinemas Takasaki (Takasaki, Gunma)

Yokohama Burg13 (Yokohama, Kanagawa)

109 Cinemas Nagoya (Nagoya, Aichi)

Umeda Burg7 (Umeda, Osaka)

T-Joy Hakata (Hakata, Fukuoka)

Dinos Cinemas Sapporo (Sapporo, Hokkaido)

Tickets cost 2200 yen. Fish Tank members can reserve up to 12 tickets, and the tickets come with a special extra, the details of which have yet to be announced. Of course, the Fish Tank tickets are special picture tickets, which will look like this:

But relax...if you're not a Fish Tank member and can't find a Fish Tank member to buy you a ticket, you can still get one of these general admission original tickets, which went onsale April 15th and will be available till June 23rd. They come with an original postcard and can be purchased through the Buck-Tick: The Climax official site.

If any of you Blog-Tickers need Cayce's help in reserving tickets, just shoot us an email. Though the details are not explicitly stated on the site, I assume that as with Buck-Tick: The Movie, seat reservations for specific showings can be made closer to the date on the websites of the movie theaters in question.

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In other news, selections from Buck-Tick's forthcoming Atom Miraiha Tour DVD will be shown on the giant Yunika Vision screen in front of Seibu Shinjuku Station between April 20th and April 30th. And here's the really amazing part, guys - they'll be playing the videos of seven whole songs in their entirety. You get to watch Buck-Tick on a giant screen outside in the middle of downtown Tokyo for seven whole songs! And assuming that one of those song is "Septem Peccata Mortalia" or "Romance," you also get to see Mr. Sakurai's denuded, garter-clad thighs at about 5,000 times their actual size! Holy wow!

Edit: here's the track list, taken from Yunika Vision's website.

1. PINOA ICCHIO -躍るアトム-

2. 美 NEO Universe

3. Baby, I want you.

4. El Dorado

5. メランコリア-ELECTRIA-

6. THE SEASIDE STORY

7. 愛の葬列

On the one hand, hats off to them for picking "El Dorado" and "Ai no Souretsu." We're busting out of our knickers here in anticipation of what Shinjuku will feel like while drenched in "Ai no Souretsu"! On the other hand, shame on whoever chose these songs for being such prudes. We really wanted to see that Attack of the 50 Foot Garter Belt.

The clips will be broadcast at 10AM, 12PM, 2PM, 4PM, 6PM, and 8PM. The segment lasts for 34 minutes. Scheduled broadcast times may be subject to change without notice. This plan is brought to you by a smartphone app, Another Track, which allows users to listen to high-fi versions of B-T songs. There's a tie-in with a Yunika Vision app called VISIONalpha and apparently you have a chance to win some surprise present, but to be honest, we have no interest in smartphone apps, so we're not going to bother to read the fine print on that one.

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We are still accepting inquiries about tickets to Buck-Tick's 30th anniversary concerts. If you're sure you want to attend and sure you need our help with the tickets, drop us a line!

Buck-Tick: The Climax... or... Milking the Money Man

Some people claim that men can't lactate - that is to say, male Homo sapiens can't make milk like female mammals of every species. In fact, it's possible that the number of people who believe men can't lactate is even higher than the number of people who believe that climate change is real, and that human beings actually landed on the moon. But Victor Entertainment doesn't listen to science! Victor Entertainment knows that if you squeeze men's tits hard enough, milk comes streaming out... and that milk has a very distinct color. Oh, wow, funny coincidence: it's the same color as money.

General admission standing tour to support Atom Miraiha? You've got to be out of your minds. Why get Buck-Tick to actually stand onstage and do something real for their 30th anniversary, when instead you can make a cheesy retrospective rockumentary about them climaxing together for 30 years, then release it to movie theaters and charge fans 2500 yen for the privilege of reliving a pale shadow of something they already saw live in the sweaty flesh back in the early 90's when they were still young, beautiful, and carefree?

That is to say, Attention Blog-Tickers! Not to be outdone by X Japan's masturbatory cheesefest We Are X, the Victor Overlords of the Buck-Tick Industrial Complex are just about to jizz their pants with excitement at the following news: a second Buck-Tick: The Movie will be released in June! Entitled BUCK-TICK ～CLIMAX TOGETHER～ ON SCREEN 1992-2016, it will feature, in the words of the promotional site, 

"Retrospective interviews connected by the thread of three concerts in 1992, 2004, and 2016, showing the growth of the band members and their relationship with their fans, and highlighting Buck-Tick's one-of-a-kind stage presence in bold ink."

If you fell asleep in boredom before you reached the end of that sentence, you're not alone. We just woke up to find we'd nodded off in our chairs while attempting to translate it.

Oh, and just as The Buck-Tick Phenomenon: The Theatrical Release was a ridiculously long and clunky title for a movie which was much better shortened to Buck-Tick: The Movie (a title which you may have noticed the band themselves actually slapped onto the movie after the fact when they released it to DVD!), 

Buck-Tick ~*~*~*~ClImAx tOgEtHer -GJTHBKHTD -19870921x30- ~*~*~*~

(that's the official title right? I'm too lazy to scroll back up and check) is also a ridiculously long and clunky movie title, and therefore we are going to go ahead and shorten it to Buck-Tick: The Climax.

But seriously, kids, how much of an anti-climax is this, anyway? Dedicated fans have already seen all three Climax Together concerts on video if not in person, "Buck-Tick's relationship with their fans" could be summed up by blowing a raspberry while sitting on a whoopee cushion, and unless they decided to interview the whole band while skinny-dipping in one of Gunma Prefecture's famous hot springs, we can be pretty sure there will be no surprise clips of backstage Nude Goth Pilates. In short, there is almost certainly going to be no point to this movie, other than an excuse for day drinking in a movie theater. Which is actually not a bad idea. Anyone who wants to join Cayce for a spot of that, email us. Honestly we're not even picky about the film. It doesn't have to be Buck-Tick. It could be a porno flick instead...that would be sure to contain more climaxes, anyhow. You have until June to come up with recipes for tasty absinthe cocktails that can fit in a hip flask.

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In other news, fans will soon be able to vote on tracks to be included in Buck-Tick's 30th anniversary best-of album, which will be titled The BesT of the BesT of the BesT of Buck-Tick (Better than the Best of the Best!). Voting will take place on this site, and be open between May 1st at noon and June 30th at one minute to midnight. If I find out that any single one of you has voted for "Muma -The Nightmare-," I will personally hunt you down and kill you. Muma made it onto the last two unnecessary anniversary best albums, people. Unless this is some divine Wiccan punishment coming back full circle (in which case we're doomed to suffer three Mumas), let's not make the same mistake three times.

Instead, here are MY suggestions for songs to vote for, in no particular order:

No-No Boy

Hearts

Capsule Tears - Plastic Syndrome III-

Embryo

Pleasure Land

Under the Moonlight

Loop -Mark II-

Kimi e

Sexy Streamliner

Living on the Net

Brilliant

Nakayubi

That song about Acchan losing his bikini (I forget the title)

Details of the release have not yet been announced, but rumor has it that it will be released only to cassette tape, mini disc, floppy disc, Nintendo 64 and Betamax, so have those vintage technology players ready and waiting!

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Real talk: Buck-Tick have a lot of great songs that time and fans forgot. In the next week or so, we'll write a post on some songs we genuinely believe you should vote for for the best album, but in the meantime, go back and listen to their whole discography again, and kindly skip "Muma," "Aku no Hana" and "Tenshi wa Dare da" while thinking fondly of how much you love Cayce.

Oh, and for some reason I feel like sharing this song. It seems relevant, somehow.

Chandelier Lottery

Hi, folks.

As you may have noticed, everything is terrible. However, there should still be no reason why we can't have nice things.

As such, the wheels of capitalist opportunism turn apace, and this time, those wheels are grinding on the chandeliers used to decorate Yokohama Arena during Climax Together 3rd. As a part of Pia's Remember Project, various memorabilia items impregnated with bits and pieces of those chandeliers could be yours as keepsakes! Previously, the Remember Project has made memorial goods out of bits of the now-demolished Nihon Seinenkan, where Buck-Tick held their Great East Japan Earthquake charity concert in 2013. They have also made memorial goods out of the scrapped old seats from Yokohama Arena, bits of the now-demolished Hotel Okura, and bits of the soon-to-be-demolished Tokyo National Gymnasium. All they're missing are pieces of the now-demolished Shibuya Kokaido, may the dreamy cosmos have mercy on its soul. Why are all these buildings being demolished, you ask? Well, better to demolish them in advance than to wait for an earthquake to come along, right? Also, the International Olympic Committee demanded their destruction as blood payment for the sacred right to hold the Olympics in Tokyo. Wanton destruction is all the rage right now, so it's no wonder that Buck-Tick's management have partnered with Pia to demolish some of the Climax Together 3rd chandeliers in order to create limited quantities of the following eight select items, including miniature chandeliers and more. The items will be available through a lottery which opens on November 21st. All proceeds will be donated to post-quake reconstruction efforts in Kumamoto.

The items are as follows:

It's hard to see how this necklace includes a piece of a chandelier, but if you liked the Climax Together 3rd astral globe symbol design, maybe this is the necklace for you, if you have 11,000 yen to burn. Quantities of this item are limited to 1,000 only. For the price, you'd better hope the metal bit is real silver, but they don't say anything about that on the site, so it might very well not be.

Then again, if you have Ears of Steel, why not go for these chandelier earrings instead? After all, once you put them on, you'll look like a walking chandelier yourself, so maybe if you're lucky, Acchan-chan will decide to hang you from his living room ceiling. At 12,000 yen, the earrings are even more expensive than the necklace, but they have a more Climactic feel, in our opinion, so money well spent! Quantities are limited to 1,000 only.

Here's an item for fanlings of more modest means: a keyholder with a leather strap and one of the smaller chandelier crystals. These are quite affordable, at only 3000 yen each, but quantities are limited to 1,000 only, so if you win one, you're a lucky ducky.

If the above keyholder wasn't opulent enough for you, here's another fancier one. Look...the Climax Together symbol is cut into the glass itself! This one's a little more expensive at 3500 yen, and also limited to 1,000 only. On the plus side, if you win it, you could definitely take it apart and make it into a better necklace than the one pictured above.

And now for the mini-chandeliers! Honestly, we're not sure if these things quite count as "chandeliers," seeing as none of them could be hung from Acchan-chan's living room ceiling. However, if you're one of those Goth Lite people who never read Interview With the Vampire but liked the movie, proudly hangs your Edward Gorey calendar on the wall next to your coat rack hung with a rainbow of North Face anoraks in different colors, thinks Lorde's purple lipstick is really edgy, and found out about Buck-Tick through Trinity Blood, these are probably just about the right speed of chandelier for you.

Mini Chandelier A

Wouldn't this make a darling desk lamp? At 50 cm tall by 20 cm wide, it's just big enough to illuminate your smutty Toll fanarts and nothing else. At only 20,000 yen, this is a steal! Plus, it's engraved with the Climax Together logo and its own serial number. There are only 150 of them available. Fight for it, kids.

Mini Chandelier B

On the other hand, if you're the type who always wanted to try having a Beauty and the Beast-style candlelit dinner but is mortally afraid of real fire, this one might be the perfect choice. At 23 cm high by 11 cm wide, it's teeny tiny enough to fit on your dinner table. It's a little bit pricier at 24,500 yen, but there are only 19 of them available so if you win one you're a special snowflake.

Mini Chandelier C

If you liked the chandelier above but felt that it didn't really spread the crystals wide enough to make optimum cat toys, then this is the chandelier for you. Its side brackets are reminiscent of lily petal or jellyfish arms, and they spread those dangling crystals out so they're irresistible to cats! Bonus points if you shine a laser pointer through the faceted glass! Bengal kitties in particular are known for their need to investigate/play with/destroy absolutely everything in your house, so this chandelier might be your ticket to Acchan-chan's heart if you give it to him as a peace offering to replace all the chandeliers he has already lost to the wild and ebullient passions of Young Miss Kurumi. This one is also 24,500 yen, but more special, because there are only nine of them.

Mini Chandelier D

Aaand...last but not least! The Phallic Symbol Chandelier! This is Buck-Tick's Climax, after all, so you knew that was coming (no pun intended!) Its elegant, spidery legs call to mine the image of a lover up on tiptoe, trembling with anticipation, while its long festoons of silver crystals evoke a myriad of Buck-Tick imagery, from the Irregular Crystals of Love in "PINOA ICCHIO," to "Heroin -Angel Dust Mix-" to whatever those "countless crystals" were that Mr. Sakurai swallowed in "Glamorous" to that "sea spray" Mr. Sakurai was swimming in in "IN". This one's the winner. This one is going to make Buck-Tickistan great again. If, that is, you have the money: all 60,000 yen of it. And there are only nine of them. One for each of your nine new worlds. One for each of the nine lives you lost last night as you tried to kill yourself repeatedly.

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But please, my American Blog-Ticker friends. Don't despair. As of last night, Buck-Tickistan have announced they will begin reviewing asylum applications from refugees fleeing the chaotic ravages of terror in the United States of America. Application forms can be downloaded from the website of the Embassy of the Anarchic Republic of Buck-Tickistan. If you need any help filling them out, feel free to ask us for assistance.

And if you like the look of the above items and you want a piece of Climax Together climaxing in your house forevermore, but you need help entering the lottery, let us know before November 21st. Like we said. Wherever you are in the world, we're always happy to help you climax.

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Schaft Climax Birthday Toll

After a long, cold, silent winter, there's finally movement in Buck-Tickistan, on multiple fronts! Though Mr. Sakurai declared in his interview in the latest issue of the Fish Tank newsletter that the first thing he wanted to do this year was "reaffirm Buck-Tick's bond as a band," there's only one piece of news in Buck-Tickistan that's coming from all five band members at once - yes, of course I'm talking about Climax Together 3rd.

For all you new fanlings who have started to read Blog-Tick, the history of Climax Together is a long one. Buck-Tick held the first concert entitled Climax Together at Yokohama Arena back in 1992. The concert was held specifically to be filmed, so in order to maximize the potential bombast of the arena, the stage was set up along the long side of the hall. The sets were extremely large and impressive, and changed several times during the concert, but even more impressive than the sets was the set list, which focused on Buck-Tick's darkest, most experimental, romantic work, and heavily featured re-arranged tracks from the band's newly released self-cover album Koroshi no Shirabe - This is NOT Greatest Hits-, which is, of course, where This is NOT Greatest Site got its name. In our opinion, the video of the 1992 Climax Together and accompanying live album remain one of Buck-Tick's best recordings to date, especially the phenomenal performance of "Victims of Love," which I wrote about a bit in this article. If you've never seen the original Climax Together but you like Imai performing crazy guitar tricks and Mr. Sakurai back when he was a very young man with very long hair, stop what you're doing and go watch it!

Buck-Tick didn't hold the second Climax Together concert until twelve years later, in 2004. This second incarnation of the Climax Together series was also held at Yokohama Arena, and was entitled Devil and Freud -Climax Together- ...but between you and me, I'd rather not imagine Freud climaxing at all, ever. This concert, too, was filmed and released as an ultra-super-duper special DVD, so perhaps you can see a pattern here.

Like the previous two Climaxes, Climax Together 3rd will be held at Yokohama Arena, on September 11th, which is the same date that Devil and Freud was held on twelve years ago. We're not sure if Buck-Tick intended this to be a once-every-zodiac cycle thing, but whether they did or not, that is what it has become. All hail the Year of the Monkey! Yokohama Arena is so big that it's doubtful any of the fans will be able to see anything at all, but if you're a member of Fish Tank and you want tickets to this historic event anyway, ticket reservations are now open until 2PM on April 12th, Japan Time.

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Anyhow, September is still along way off, and separately, the Buck-Tick members have plans before then. After Schaft performed two new songs on their tour which didn't appear on Ultra, we suspected that at the very least, a new single would be forthcoming, but Schaft fans can rejoice, because it's not just a single, it's a single and live mini-album! Entitled Deeper and Down, the mini-album will cost 2700 yen and come with a bonus DVD with a live PV of the title track, "Deeper and Down." The ten tracks are as follows:

01. Deeper and Down (lyrics - Yow-Row/music - Imai Hisashi)

02. H.N.A. (lyrics & music - Imai Hisashi)

03. Deeper and Down (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

04. H.N.A. (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

05. Arbor Vitae (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

06. Thirsty Fly (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

07. Broken English (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

08. The Hero InSide (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

09. Slice (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

10. Cold Light (live 1/28 at EX Theater Roppongi)

We plan on writing a report of the Schaft tour, but for now, we'll say that the 2016 live versions of the old Schaft songs are extremely different from the original recordings which appeared on Switchblade, to the point that they're practically new songs, so this live album should be a treat.

In addition to the live album, Schaft will also be releasing a live DVD/BluRay of the show held on January 28th at EX Theater Roppongi. Titled Archives 2016 Tour Ultra ~The Loud Engine~, the BluRay version will cost 7540 yen, while the DVD version will cost 6459 yen. The first press edition will come in special packaging and include a special booklet. The tracklist for the video is as follows:

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01. The Loud Engine

02. Vice

03. drift

04. Anti-Hedonist

05. ReVive

06. Der Zauberlehrling

07. SAKASHIMA

08. Leidenschaft

09. Arbor Vitae

10. Thirsty Fly

11. Swan Dive

12. Adam's Rib

13. Mi

....and more

We attended all the shows except for the one in Osaka, and we can categorically say that the show at EX Theater was the best of the bunch. If you are a fan of Schaft, you will surely not regret buying this DVD! Both the DVD and the mini-album will include application tickets for a lottery for further Schaft prize goods, so if you buy both, you might win something cool, though no details have been released as yet. Both the DVD and mini-album will be released on May 11th. As always, if you'd like our help purchasing either of these releases, just send us an email.

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And finally, for the fourth year running, Toll has announced he will be holding a live show in honor of his birthday: It's a Now 2016! Last year he outdid himself by holding three shows, but this year he's dialed it back to two:

Friday, August 19th at Shimokitazawa Garden (open 18:30/start 19:00)

Sunday, August 21st at Takasaki Club Fleez (open 16:30/start 17:00)

As most of you already know, August 19th is Toll's actual birthday. Last year's birthday show involved a guest appearance from one of the actual members of CAROL, so in a way, it's hard to imagine how Toll could top that, but surely he's got a trick or two up his sleeve. No further details have yet been announced, but ticket reservations are open to Fish Tankers until April 12th, so start checking your calendars!

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Anyhow, that's it for now.