Moon Gazing

*spaced out*

*blinks*

"There's a tiny cicada on my third eye chakra... I C U, TINY CICADA." 

"...whoaaa... that black hole next to the full moon looks like the outline of Gunma prefecture!"

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*so wrapped up in Gunma prefecture-shaped cloud hole that he failed to notice there was an even smaller cicada acting as a hair ornament*

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Though the night meadow was full of the rustle of grasses and the symphony of cricket song, as the small cicadas gazed at Imai, they were dumbstruck, filled by an overwhelming sense of the inexplicable, boundless, wondrous, tongue-tied, awkward silence of the universe. 

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Note from Cayce: The insect on Baby Imai's face is not, in fact, a cicada, but a relative of the cicada called a "leafhopper," the common name of any of many insects from the cicada-adjacent family Cicadellidae. Leafhoppers, "Hamushi no You ni," you tell us. If Cidacellidae sounds Psychedelic to you, well, don't ask us, please go ask Imai. Or ask the cicadas. They will gladly give you this simple rhyme that will help you remember the Holographic Principle defining our Universe:

"Little bugs have smaller bugs

Upon their backs to bite 'em.

Smaller bugs have smaller bugs,

And so on, ad infinitum"

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Happy Harvest Moon, and Happy Imai Month October.

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All photographs copyright yours truly. All photos 100% no-filter, unaltered, completely devoid of photo editing of any kind (for once not even being a troll here, even the bugs are real, they were literally on Imai's face (don't ask how (whoops nested parentheses (holograms got ahead of me))) anyway no tiny cicadas were harmed in the making of this program.)

(We're not Allowed to Post This)

By popular demand...

This guy is Harada Kenta, guitarist from Toll's band. We met him once. Let's just say, he had a very high opinion of himself. Poll question: did he puke on Mr. Sakurai's white, white, white shirt later in the evening? We don't know, you tell us. Where did these photos come from? We don't know, you tell us.

(Acchan is laughing with you, not at you. Of that you can be sure.)

These are the two Bengals. Guess which is which? Which one looks more underfed, and which one looks more jealous? (C'mon guys, this isn't even a quiz. Even if you don't read Japanese.)

Here it is. You asked for it, and he took it himself, so there's really nothing he can do at this point. If Fish Tank has us shot by firing squad for posting this, well, know that we died thinking of you.

This is not, and I repeat, is not a post by The Hisashi Inquirer. This is a post by Cayce, being an asshole. Because we're just over it. And we miss The Internet the way it was in 2003. Welcome back, Geocities. If we could make this text blink and flash, we would.

Mmm-hmmm. HOT BATH SELFIE. RED HOT RED HOT. SLURP SLURPEE SLURPEEEEEE.

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... what color is that beard, eh?

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(God / Allah / Buddha / Shiva / Flying Spaghetti Monster forgive us our sins.) OH wait, you know, THIS time we're going to ask for the forgiveness of Ishtar / Parvati / Saraswati / Izanami / Amaterasu / Sakurayhime and Iwanagahime / Kwan Yin / Aphrodite / Athena / Freya / Lakshmi / Mary / Benzaiten and Yemaya, Maman Brigitte, Hecate, oh not to mention Bastet, please insert your preferred goddesses here, (please feel free to list them in the comments below) there are way too many to list but we would love to list them all, it really has been too fucking long.  Plus everyone knows that Acchan-chan is a goddess in a man's body and that's really the whole problem.

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Love

Love

YEAH

PEACE🌈🌈🌈

Mahna Mahna

Sing it with me...

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Doo doo do doo do!

MAHNA MAHNA.

Doo doo do doo!

MAHNA MAHNA.

Nice necklace, Mr. Imai. We feel like we saw it before... somewhere in a MEMORY.

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(Have any of y'all braved the shitshow of the CATS movie? If you have, please leave your reviews in the comments. CATS panning is our latest favorite form of entertainment.)

Gotta Catch 'Em All

Post should be titled, "Gotta Catch 'Em All, or, You Know You're Old When."

Does anyone else remember this site?

Wonder where Hide and Toll are? Don't ask us, we have no idea. We have no idea who made the site and it's long gone into the lost bits of internet history, fallen by the wayside on the staticky road of electronic time. But if you caught a Pocket Bishonen yourself at some point, please leave a comment for posterity.

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On another note...

Thank you for your continuing concerns about our health. This illness has been far longer and more difficult than we anticipated, but we are now well on the road to recovery and hope to resume normal operations within the not too distant future. Thank you so much for all your messages of support - we plan on responding to all of them, it will just take some more time. This year, NGS welcomed our thirteenth anniversary (holy crap!) and we're not ready to call it quits just yet. Thank you for your patience.

RAINBOW ACCHAN!!1

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BRIGHTER

AND

 BRIGHTER

Guest Post: Gendjreng Aku Mas

Fun fact for those of you new to Buck-Tickistan: in the liner notes of Six/Nine, in addition to be being credited for vocals, Mr. Sakurai is credited as having played the saxophone. As to what song he played it on, since there's only one song on the album which includes a sax part, it's fairly obvious: "Itoshi no Rock Star"! While this is the only studio recording for which Mr. Sakurai played sax (that we know of), he was also seen to play it live during the Darker Than Darkness tour, on "Victims of Love."

Don't believe us?

Now you do.

Why doesn't Mr. Sakurai play the sax anymore, you ask? Well, to be honest... we have no proof that he doesn't. It's just that, even if you're Mr. Sakurai, sax isn't necessarily something you feel comfortable with doing in public all the time, you know?

Then there's the question of whether he plays the piano - in the Autumn 2012 issue of Bridge magazine, he posed with a cat and a piano for the photoshoot accompanying the 20,000 character interview he gave on the topic of his childhood musical influences (market translation price: 140,000 yen). Of course maybe that was just a pose and he was faking it, but at the same time... why bother fake posing at a piano when you have a live cat in the room? Maybe Mr. Sakurai plays, but not for other people.

We've spent many a sleepless night over the years pondering these deep and pressing questions, fearing that we might never know the truth. But then! Just when we'd all but given up hope, one of our dear readers showed up with the answer, lovingly illustrated in manga form, and we couldn't resist sharing it with y'all.

Therefore, we present to you our first guest post in a long while. Comic by Ms. J. Whether she's a relative of Mr. J, we cannot say.

So there you have it. That's the truth, and let no one dare speak otherwise.

Oh yeah, about the post title - if you don't know what it means, we're not going to tell you. Find out for yourselves.

Cheese and Bunnies and Gingerbread Men

You thought we were joking about the gingerbread version of Hoshino Hidehiko?

We were not.

This is the work of intrepid Instagrammer q.j_mom, who just can't get enough of food art! Although scrolling through her account, it's easy to see that gingerbread isn't her usual medium - most of the time, she prefers a healthier option, in the form of nori-on-cheese collages. Check these out!

Look, it's Buck-Tick!

And Cali-Gari!

And Kikkawa Koji!

And Prince!

And David Bowie!

And Boy George, looking a lot like young Imai Hisashi!

And look, here's the real Imai Hisashi!

And Hoshino Hidehiko! (Mm doesn't that stuffed chikuwa look good...?)

And here's Mr. Sakurai in a garter belt! (She hashtagged this one #sexybento)

And more Acchan-chan, saying "Eat me, eat me!" (But also eat your beans.)

 

Not only that, but Ms. Q. J. has also tried her hand at Serious Toast.

In addition to making "character lunches," her other main hobby appears to be crocheting silly hats for her cat. We dunno about you, kids, but we always wanted a cat whose head looks like a strawberry, and we're pretty sure Mr. Sakurai does, too (we'd ask him directly, but according to our sources, Kurumi upended a bottle of shochu all over his phone and he needs to get a new one before he can reply to our texts. This is the danger of real cats vs. watching cat videos on YouTube! Are you sure you wanted a real kitteh, Acchan-chan? Are you sure?) Look at the guilty face of this cat! She's definitely up to something wicked!

But bravo, Ms. Q. J. We applaud your brave efforts to push the boundaries of fanart further than they've ever been pushed before. Go check her out on Instagram, y'all. There's way more to be enjoyed over there.

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In other news, one of our long-time readers recently emailed us to let us know that her pet bunny has become an avid Buck-Tick fan.

Michelle wrote to us from the east coast of the USA, to inform us of the following:

"Lately I started binge watching Buck-Tick videos and now my pet bunny is a fan. Seriously. On the third day she went over to the TV and stood up on her hind legs to get me to turn on the TV. Once I hit play, she did her relaxed pose, and I had to take a photo.

My bun's name is Cocoa, and she has a very sweet personality. I found it interesting that she faces the TV when I watch Buck-Tick (& The Mortal & Sakurai) concerts, but with movies and TV shows she sits off to the side often facing away from the TV. Of course rabbits have almost 360-degree vision so direction may not matter. Her ears are definitely up and attentive."

Cocoa is surely soothed by the velvet tones of Mr. Sakurai's voice, Michelle. We think that's more than abundantly clear. Welcome to Buck-Tickistan, little bunny!

No need to be lonely, either. There are other rabbits in Buck-Tickistan, too! Melissa from Belgium is the proud mama of another two:

What a charming sight! How soothing for the soul!

But what about those days when the famous and powerful oligarchs of Russian Buck-Tick fandom keep sending you jars of pickled herring with threatening letters attached, full of dark, vague pronouncements such as "In Soviet Russia, Fly High okays itself to YOU!" What's a humble gonzo tabloidist to do?

Another one of our readers had an answer for us.

Sorry, Russian fans. We're sorry for picking on you. We know you're not all alike, and that some of you okay yourselves to the fly high and not the other way around. Keep your English очень styly and save us some vodka for next time :) Cause we love you, Russia, and so does Q. J. Mom.

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