Why, Fish Tank Tour Goods?

Welp, we can't post the photos of the goods here because they're all too fucking tiny. Web design, in Buck-Tickistan? What country do you think this is, eh?

But, while they have all the money and the lack of web design skills, we have the WHYs y'all are looking for. So, here's why.

1. Imai-designed Masks and "Half Pants" (c'mon Imai, these are call shorts. I know, I know, "shorts" is a euphemism for "panties" in Japan, but if Acchan-chan did it, so can you.) So, why? Chiropractor, kids. For his old man brokedown hip. We recently sprained our non-corporeal knee and we've been commuting once a week to the generously insurance-underwritten chiropractor, where we lie on an air conditioned bed listening to 90's and 2000's pop (both Japanese and Western... by the way, we are never, ever ever getting back together.) while receiving exotic services such as electric massage and chiropractic manipulations by an extremely handsome, charismatic young man who should probably be a televangelist or a used car salesman instead of a chiropractor, but we respect him the more for the fact that he isn't. And what happens when you go to a Japanese chiro clinic with a sprained knee, folks? They have you change into these standard-issue "half-pants" that look pretty much exactly like the ones Imai's got on offer. The masks go without saying. Cuz corona is gonna kill you but them masks will save you. Vax or no vax. So you're snorting into your mask and your half-pants and just wishing that that 90's playlist included "Dress," which of course, it doesn't. Mr. Imai, 9500 yen is a lot of money for some chiro clinic pants, and you know it. But your hip still hurts, and you really, really want to get back up onto those ridiculous boots, so we get it.

2. Yutaka: Serious Bear Round Squishy Ball Keyholder. Well, well, well. We know that aside from Mr. Imai, Yutaka is the most happily married of the bunch in Buck-Tickistan, and what Serious Bear doesn't love to lightly squish a nice, squishy, squishy ball? At 2000 yen, this is very cheap, fit for an everyman... every man who wants a nice, squishy ball. Yutaka, my but you're sweet. Squish squish, it's a boob, it's a ball, it's a stress reliever (is there any difference?) Why does poor Serious Bear look so glum? Probably because none of us can attend the tour and that fucking sucks. But we could buy this thing and squish all of our latent, long-lost longing for Buck-Tick into it, and even if that doesn't make things feel better, it does help that this baby is very cute (and would also make a good cat toy, probably. If Yutaka has a cat. Or if he goes to visit Acchan-chan, which is unlikely.) Yutaka, you are the sweetest, the bestest. We love you.

3. Yagami Toll: Super Ice Cold Ultra-Chilled Sake Set, anticipating our annual global warming 36-degree summer here in Japan. Toll is going to turn 60 on August 19th, kids. Right in the middle of that sauna. Will it be 36 degrees? Will it be 37 degrees? Let's hope to fuck it's not 60 degrees, or we really will all die. But yeah, what does Toll like? Nihonshu. That is to say, "Japaneez sake" (as Mr. Sakurai sings in "Goblin"). When does he like it? Whenever he goddamn well pleases. He has surely earned that right, by now. But if you buy this sake set, you not only get to enjoy that cute zombie-with-a-mohawk Toll graphic, and remember that Toll was ready to give up rock music for a life of drinking away his misery before he ever joined Buck-Tick (see Love Me on This is NOT Greatest Site for more info), but also, Toll has been drinking sake that entire time and he's still alive and pushing sixty, so really, the point is, what you can learn from Toll's life is that you should do what you love, *if* doing what you love involves painstakingly reviewing each and every video of your drumming post-concert (while drinking nihonshu), lecturing to young drummers (while drinking nihonshu) that they shouldn't be so show-offy and should pare their style back to something more refined and Japanese minimalist so as to better show off Mr. Sakurai's voice (like nihonshu), and just plain ol' drinking nihonshu. While maybe checking out your super-duper cool mohawk in the mirror (and toasting your reflection with nihonshu), even though you're alone in your house. (Who says he doesn't do that? Can you prove he doesn't do that? No, you can't!)

4. Hide: Hairband, With Bow (presumably intended to be affixed to your dog's head as she goes running with you.) Why? Well, Hide is an over-50 soccer dad whose very uncool hobby is getting up at 5AM to go jogging along the river. Why does he do this? To stay in shape for playing soccer? Nope. He's just that kind of guy that likes to get up very early in the morning to go jogging. And he's secretly flattered by the groups of 80-something year old ladies who regularly and unabashedly hit on him, with pickup lines like "oooooh look at the handsome prince!!!" They have no idea who he is, no idea that he's famous, no idea what a Buck-Tick is or where to buy one. All they know is they saw that silver fox in his hairband, modestly priced at a department-store price of 2500 yen (price of the man or the headband, you decide, this is a choose your own adventure), because he's an everyman, jogging by the river with his little dog, and their jaded hearts were stirred by his purity of spirit, and by his well-exercised muscles, and by his chiseled features, and his silver beard. 

They heckle and heckle, because when you're 85, you're just over it. "Nice pecs!" "Nice beard!" "Nice biceps!" "Nice bxx!" "Whoo-hoo!" "We like a man with a nice dog!!" "We like a man with a nice headband!!!" And somehow, Hide feels just as small and shamed as any 18-year-old girl getting cat-called by construction workers... and yet... he's still flattered. His ego is inflated and deflated in equal measure (as are other parts of him). Because he knows, work that thang when you still can (and how long can he?? Oh, god, don't go spiraling down this loop anymore...). Because secretly, loss of self-confidence is a very real fear for this extremely handsome, talented, six-foot-tall professional rock star jock. Because everyone's life has to be hard somehow!!! But look, early-morning jogging is a slippery slope. By the time Hide's 70 (oh dear we said it perish that thought now kill it with fire), his wake-up time will have moved back to 4AM. Fun fact: one time Cayce was walking along the seawall in Yokosuka in the middle of winter at 4AM (please, please don't ask why.) And we kid you not, there were not one, not two, but a whole steady stream of very old Japanese people (we mean like octogenarian old), wrapped up in anoraks, jogging along. And, kids, they looked so very, very miserable, running through that blistering wind. They were cold and it was still pitch dark out, and their were heavily hoisting their venerable bodies along the road, and we couldn't help but want to ask them... my dudes, why don't you just wait until it's like 10AM and it's sunny and warm out here and you can see the ocean while you jog? We've got nothing against jogging, exercise or health. These are undoubtedly good things, keeping Japan with the longest life expectancy in the world. But, why put yourselves through this sadness and hardship, at a time in your life when you could and should just be kicking back and working in the garden and cuddling with your cats? Is misery virtue? Welcome to Japan, a country where that question has never been satisfactorily answered.

5. Mr. Sakurai. Hanky Panky Hankies. Okay, we know what you're thinking. You know we know what you're thinking. Lace handkerchiefs into which to loose your impotent fantasies is so much more romantic than tissue paper. "You are the honey I spill all alone" ("Sasayaki"). So much more elegant with a hanky than a tissue from the grocery store, ain't it? And ain't nobody getting any younger. You think he can still actualize those fantasies of his? What woman would do it? What woman could do it? They are all listening to K-Pop and playing otome games now, he's an old, old, OLD man, like 5666666 years old, and those fantasies of his, well, they are epic. Nope, Acchan-chan is alone, alone, in a world of plastic-surgified very young very perfect-faced male idols and very, very scary large and overripe fangirls, and he's a hikikomori who prefers to stay safe at home in his own home sweet home house, thank you very much, and make his own "fun." With some nice, lovely, silk handkerchiefs. 

Except, kids, that's not even what's going on here. You know what Acchan-chan loves, even more than sxx (fun fact: he gave that up long ago, he's faking it, no one is worth it anymore, Covid ruined everything, goodbye, I don't even watch porn anymore, it's all an act, signing off. Nen nen korori yo.) Acchan-chan loves watching really sad, scary, and/or twisted movies. His favorite Ghibli film, by his own accounting in multiple sources, is Grave of the Fireflies. He's currently penning lyrics all about how fucking pissed he is that there is another fucking war in central Europe/Asia. And you know what happens when you write lyrics about the war in Ukraine while watching Grave of the Fireflies on repeat? You cry, kids. You bawl. You snivel. You hork snot and then you snivel some more. Because what the fuck even is this life and why the fuck does it have to suck this much, kthxbai. It sucks for everyone, Ukrainian, Russian, Japanese, American, every fucking person, it just blows (like you blow your nose in that hanky panky hankie). Jobs suck. Being bombed sucks. Being blacklisted by the world through no fault of your own sucks. Being ruled by oligarchs and megalomaniacal egomaniacs sucks. Late-stage capitalism is what's sucking us all dry.

Japan sucks a lot less than the rest of the world in many ways, but when you're Acchan-chan, you feel ALL of the world's feels at once, so you're in constant pain, but you are too gentle and retiring to complain enough to get a well-insured appointment with that spiritual chiropractor. And furthermore, Sugar does not have the time or the patience to be Acchan's napkin on which to rub his bogeys, even though he would prefer Sugar's fur (Kurumi would just scratch his lovely old old OLD 56666666 year old face and glare at him and have done and he just doesn't have the heart to inflict his misery on Maru because for him Maru is a little angel and maybe the only scrap of loveliness this world has left, because Sugar is guilty of Gluttony and Kurumi is guilty of Envy and in a way that makes him feel closer to them bc 7 deadly sins and all but he needs to feel something of the divine just to get the energy to get out of bed and into the studio each morning). But, he's Acchan-chan. He has class. He has style. Whether or not he's getting any hanky-panky, he needs a fucking hanky. Here you go. A whole 4500 yen's worth (per color!), and you can't even go to the tour - he's got that covered, too. This is your hanky to cry in. Can't go to the tour. It sucks. Cry with him in solidarity.  

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The Questions in Question, and Other Sad Trombones (Happy New Year 2021)

Happy New Year, folks! We... guess? With the pandemic raging worse than ever, and many places under lockdown, it's looking like a dark winter, especially in the midst of a "fashion" crisis of puffer jackets that look like black plastic garbage bags stuffed with toilet paper, plus the question of why the Fashion Police haven't started arresting anyone who hasn't upped their mask game from "white paper sanitary napkin wrapper" to "re-usable, matches my outfit and actually fits my face." Having to wear a mask all the time sucks enough without looking like you mummified yourself in all that toilet paper you panic-bought last spring! Look at Imai Hisashi, kids. Imai Hisashi is a role model. You should do what he does. Put on your Swarovski mask and your giant platform boots and pandemic down the street like you're the hottest virus to infect the catwalk since Agent Smith. Imai Hisashi can jump, twirl, and kick in those boots, while playing guitar. Could he also infect the Matrix and make a gazillion more copies of Imai Hisashi? No question! So what's your excuse, eh!?

Anyhow, apologies never made up for late trains, but we apologize again for not keeping up with the blogging. For those of us who were worried for us, thank you for keeping us in your thoughts. Physically, we're doing better. Emotionally, well... who the fuck is feeling happy and well-adjusted right now? Raise your hands, you chipper lying overachievers, and we'll call you a pack of chipper lying overachievers! There's no shame in admitting boldly that wish you could sleep all day because it beats being awake. Is this what Mr. Sakurai meant by "Moonlight Escape"? How did he know?

In any case, before we get back to the Abracadabra translations (and we WILL get back to them even though we've got nothing on the OFFICIAL translations sucks to be us but more on that later), we'd like to address some questions we've gotten from you readers.

First, Yemitza from Venezuela would like to know, what sorts of too-expensive-to-buy merch did Buck-Tick release in fall of 2020?

Thanks for asking, Yemitza.

First, Imai Hisashi released this pretty cool embroidered bomber jacket, in both black and white, as a collaboration with fashion designer Takeo Kikuchi, whose Meiji Street boutique you could visit, if you were allowed into Japan as a foreigner, which you're not, because all gaijin have coronavirus. Also, you don't have enough money to buy this jacket, because it's 70,000 yen and that's more than your rent. With unicorns and sparkles, fuck you, Yemitza :) Have you been feeling like your life is a meaningless slog from cradle to grave and your grave is probably very close at hand because you'll probably almost certainly die of this virus but at this point you don't even care anymore because fuck this shit? Congratulations, Yemitza. You're correct! Take 50xp, but no gold coins, because you don't have enough money to buy this jacket.

Second, Buck-Tick released these fancy earbuds, as a collaboration with Tago Studio Takasaki, a recording studio in Takasaki, Gunma, near the band's hometown of Fujioka. These hot-shot, hand-lettered bad boys are lusciously insertable into your ear canals, developed as the small, lipstick-case-vibrator versions of the big, insert-your-ears-into-their-luscious-folds studio monitor headphones used at Tago Studio. The Tago Studio T3-02 earphones feature "box in box" technology, with an inner headphone core inside an outer box, designed to silence any sound from the outside world to less than a faint whisper, so that all you hear are the slip-sliding glissandos and falsettos of Buck-Tick in your box. Perfect for amateur sound engineers and pornographers alike. Do you like that, Yemitza? Do you want those earphones inside your ears? Do you want them inside your ears right now? Welp, too bad! Those earphones are the Shinjuku hooker in this tale and you cannot afford her. She's 68,200 yen, Yemitza. Sayonara!

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Next, our long-lost Russian Lolita friend Maria Anastasia Hisashiyevna Sakuraina from St. Petersburg would like to ask, was the Fish Tank Only 2020 tour cancelled?

Yes, Maria Anastasia Hisashiyevna Sakuraina. Yes, it was. And it's never coming back. Just like the sweet hours of your life that you could have spent skipping rope and learning to speak Bahasa, only instead you spent them blacked out on your couch with the curtains closed in a sea of empty vodka bottles, because life is meaningless and soon, VERY SOON, we're all going to die, 'Rona or no 'Rona, it's only a matter of time and time was never on your side!!! But don't take it too hard. This is a new year. There's still time for you to write the next Great Russian Novel, before it's all over. Probably. пожалуйста меня, ох да.

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Third, many of our dear readers would like you ask, Cayce, did you attend the Abracadabra On Screen tour? What was it like?

Yeah, we did.

It was like a drive-in movie in a graveyard.

Kokusai Forum holds 5,000 people and we only saw a few hundred. Slumped in their seats, with their feet up.

Yes, it was on screen. It was a movie, on a very large screen. A beautiful, well-produced movie, but a movie nonetheless.

Oh, but they flashed red lights on the crowd during "Ura-Harajuku"!

Stage effects, amirite!!?

The only part that didn't feel like a movie: the sloshed, plastered, wasted-drunk voice of Sakurai Atsushi, announcing a break for intermission, between the main set and the encore. Write that Russian novel, man. We know you have it in you.

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Fourth, many of our dear readers would like to ask, Cayce, were you at the Nippon Budoukan in socially-distanced, not-sweaty, not-fleshy person on December 29th, 2020? Did you see with your own masked face and naked eyes what we only saw through a screen?

The sad, very sad answer is that no, kids. We didn't. We could have, theoretically. But we didn't. And this probably means our Buck-Tickistani passport ought to be revoked, right about now.

Why didn't we go?

Oh, well, first there was the part about how the tickets for any seats that weren't at the nosebleed back of the house were twice as expensive as usual, you see. Because they had to sell the venue at half capacity, because the Budoukan is owned by the Japanese government, and the Japanese government demanded All the Virus Performance. Because People Need Money and Buck-Tick is like a silver cow that squirts milk we mean money into the hands of many, many hungry, thirsty people so they can't cancel the show but they MUST take the fun out of it.

How best to do so? By making a dedicated smartphone app, that can only be downloaded onto a specific kind of phone (which Cayce doesn't own), and making it so that each ticket had to be purchased individually (no buying tickets for your and your plus one), and making it so that each ticket is non-transferrable so that if the 'Rona gets you and end up not being able to go, they just get to eat your 17,000 yen whole, no possibility of selling/transferring your ticket to someone else, because, with unicorns and sparkles, fuck you, Yemitza. This is a Kafkaesque gulag. What did you think this was, a rock show?

The lucky fans who managed to get through this stage of the process were then required to upload mug shots profile pictures, taken to certain specifications, to a dedicated Ticket Pia site, several days in advance of the show. Fans whose profile pictures were deemed insufficiently similar to their ID photos ran the risk of being turned away at the door. 

Next, the fans were required to arrive at the venue in shifts, so that they could enter the venue in properly socially distanced fashion. No talking allowed? Goes without saying. No tour goods. No partying. No smiling. No happiness. And no kittens. ESPECIALLY NO KITTENS!

Having reached the door, fans were required to tromp their goth boots across disinfectant pads, because the bottom of your goth boots is where the 'Rona goes to party like it's a socially undistanced 1999. Then, the hand sanitizers. The profile picture check. And the registration on the Japanese government's contact tracing app, so that officials from the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare can show up at your window in the middle of the night and say "Boo!" if they feel so moved.

Next, into the venue, into your socially distanced seat, not next to any other fans, especially not your plus one. Where you SIT in your seat, and "enjoy" the entire show in masked silence, feeling smugly superior because YOU'RE sitting there live in person, you ran that gauntlet like a true American Ninja, you charmed tickets out of the Belly of the Beast like you can cadenza on Tamino's magic flute, and that makes you so much BETTER than all those schmucks in unpronounceable countries like Tajikistan and Herzegovina and Suriname who might be gathered with their friends around a bottle of wine and a plate of canapes, laughing and enjoying the show together as if there were still love in the universe. Those people may have had a warm and loving good time watching their live streams today, but the 'Rona is sure to kill them DEAD tomorrow, whereas you, coldhearted intrepid Buck-Tick stalker true believer, YOU saw Sakurai Atsushi's thighs IN PERSON through a pair of pants and several layers of dusters and veils and one very swish goth cape. And that makes you better than everyone else, forever. Better than Cayce, for sure. Suck it, Cayce. You couldn't ride a camel if you practiced for five years, Cayce. We're better than you. Sayo-fucking-nara.

(Actually, it seems from what we could tell from watching the live stream that the crowd physically present in the Budoukan were surprisingly energetic and appreciative. Good on you, guys. But, Buck-Tick's management... if you want us to attend a show IRL, do try to make us feel like we're guests at your event, rather than prisoners of war being processed. You feel us?)

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Fifth, Lawrence of Canadia asked us, Cayce, did you have any involvement in the international edition of Abracadabra that's coming out through this record label and will include a *sad trombone* "official English lyrics booklet."

Thanks for your support as ever, Lawrence, but nope. Buck-Tick's management sure love to vacuum up your yennies and pennies, but paying Cayce for a translation??? Hell will "Kogoeru" first. Cayce is a hack and can never write such poetry as, 

"Am I dead or am I alive?

It's dark outside, dark with the dusk

I want [a] to sink, that's all I crave

Sing one last lullaby

Tell me I've been good [...in bed]

I want to sleep, that's all it is

Far away, far away in my [wet] dreams

Time to sleep."

And here's another jewel of professional translation from the JPU Records website, which Cayce could surely never equal:

"When I strummed the A chord to F#m on my guitar, tears began to well up. I kept going with that feeling and 'Eureka' was made." (said Imai).

After all, Cayce's translations tend to read more like this:

"When I put my pale pink rocket against my wife's black hole of love, a 'here is new sensation' began to well up. I kept going with that feeling and 'The Moon is Made of Green Cheese,' I mean, my daughter, Imai Hisashiko junior, was made. LOVE LOVE LOVE YEAH YEAH YEAH PEACE!!!

#imaihisashi

#bucktick

#bt

#peace

#✌

#🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

#アブラカダブラ

#ABRACADABRA

#🔮🙏

#omamori"

In any case, we all know that passive voice is always the best way to describe your sex life, whether it's with your sex life with your guitar, or your sex life with your one and only. Passive voice: if it's good enough for scientific journal articles, it's good enough for rock-n-roll website copy.

A case in point:

Alchemical Processes of Transformation of Sonic Vibrations into Euphoria-Inducing Ether Cocktails Causing Lubrication and Arousal in Human Genitalia: Case Study on the Sexual XXXXX Effects of 'The Buck-Tick Phenomenon,' published in The Journal of Sex, Sexology and Sexuality, June 69th, 2069, Hisashi University Press, Ltd.

But, all those sex jokes aside, cut the crap, Buck-Tick's management. "Kogoeru" is not a song about feeling tired and wanting to sleep. "Kogoeru" is about longing for the sweet release of death!!! Why? Because life is an endless slog of betrayal, misery, and disappointment. Of the love you gave being tossed back in your face like a drink in a bar fight. Of the light of your being, your talent and all you hoped to achieve being slowly snuffed out by the tyranny of mediocrity and the grinding juggernaut of late-stage capitalism, just like that lonely, guttering candle Mr. Sakurai's holding in the PV.

Let me quote Mr. Sakurai, from Phy Volume 17, "Probably the only time I have no sorrow in my heart is when I get drunk and fall asleep. But sometimes, when I fall asleep, the nightmares attack..."

And now it's time for Cayce to sleep, too. God kids, I want a sink. That's all I crave. Tell me I've been good, and then leave me the fuck alone.

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*blinks*

Oh, right, we can't sleep yet. We had to write a Russian novel.

And the Russian novel is this: what are Buck-Tick doing next?

Who the fuck knows what anybody is doing next, kids? Buck-Tick have announced a national hall tour for fall of 2021, and a show at the Budoukan on December 29th, 2021. But... your guess is as good as ours.

In the meantime.

Buy the Very Official International Edition of Abracadabra. Translated by Much Professionals with So Wow Credentials and Very Cold Hard Cash.

Or, if you like sex jokes, support us on Ko-Fi. We may not be able to translate Japanese worth a damn, but we are a VERY mother pheasant plucker (we pluck mother pheasants!)

And, if you feel so moved, answer us one last question... why would Mr. Sakurai want a sink? Does he need an extra one for his cats to sit in? Was everything but the kitchen sink not enough? That greedy bastard! Discuss.

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(This post has been brought to you by catsinsinks.com. Not really, but, check it out, it will make you laugh.)

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A Bra! Cad, A Bra! (Summer Goods and More)

With the number of bras found in Buck-Tick's new album clocking it at a whopping two (two bras, meaning FOUR boobies!!!), we wonder if that bikini-hunting #sexybeast Hoshino Hidehiko will finally take us up on our merchandising advice, and release the long-awaited "produced by Hoshino" bikini, just in time for a summer when you can't go to the beach so you stay in your room taking mirror selfies all day. Style: string bikini, adjustable to a variety of body shapes. Color: black. Pattern: a silver Hoshino pentacle on each titty, and a third on your hoochie-coochie. Says "Buck-Tick" across the butt in large, silver Art Deco letters. 

Next, Mr. Sakurai follows up with the "Abracadabra Bra" - an ultra super-duper pushup bra with abracadabrangles on each boobie, to keep the coronavirus out of your cleavage. Customers who brought this item also bought the following items, also produced by Mr. Sakurai: Lace Sexmask for virus safety safe sex, and the "Moonlight Escape" bondage kit (even if you pull a Houdini and escape from these cuffs, you can never escape from love!!!)

If you would rather see these items being produced than the array of summer goods Buck-Tick currently have on offer, please leave a comment below.

We'd write reviews of the various items, but for the fact that they're really not that interesting, and also, most of them sold out the instant they went on sale, then sold out again the instant they went on sale again. Those of you jonesing for a Buck-Tick mask, mask case, and "acrylic door opener" (this is a thing??) to complete your Buck-Tick-themed collection of coronavirus paranoia paraphernalia, you'll just have to wait for another restock. We'll be happy to help you order, but we can't currently ship any items internationally, due to the coronavirus (why is it that you can ship items *to* Japan, but not *from* Japan? Why, Japan? Why?)

Acrylic door opener??? What even is this, and how do you use it? And why would you want to?

However, some of the items remained conspicuously unsold-out, namely, these t-shirts. And we think we can guess why.

Somehow, just looking at the photos of these shirts makes us feel perversely uncomfortable, and the fans seem to agree. Buck-Tickistan is not Dog-Tagistan.

We get it. Dogs are cute, too. Why should cats have all the love. Hide adopted a puppy. We're approaching the dog days of August. Etc. But, we feel we need to haughtily put our foot down on this one and quote Judi Dench from the 2019 Cats movie (and we know Imai watched it because he was cosplaying Victoria the White Cat in her ridiculous oversized pearl necklace on the cover of the February 2020 issue of Ongaku to Hito) - "A cat is not a dog."

Mr. Sakurai is a cat.

Cats are not dogs.

Therefore, Mr. Sakurai is not a dog.

Drawing the band members as cupcakes on forks was bad enough. Drawing Mr. Sakurai as a dog is crossing a line. Hatoyama Ikuko, you're a wonderful artist, but please. Have a sense of feline decency. Also, how could you go out of your way to draw Imai as a dog and not draw him as a bloodhound? Please. Try harder next time.

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In other news, the jacket art for Moonlight Escape has been released (yeah, it was a while ago, but bear with us.) What a design! You can practically hear the swish-swish-swish of Mr. Sakurai's goth cloak, and the groans of the photographer as he has to shoot over, and over, and over, because Mr. Sakurai just can't stop breaking out into a cheesy grin over how much fun it is to swish a goth cloak around. As for the sexy psychedelic eye with Buck-Tick over the moon and in its sights, do y'all think that's Mr. Sakurai's eye in drag queen makeup? It sure is shaped like his eye. Is the glitter real or Photoshop? Discuss. Will Mr. Sakurai make an appearance on RuPaul's Drag Race? Discuss.

In addition, the special bonus extras provided by major music retailer chains with purchases of the new single have been announced. To see pictures of them, click here.

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Furthermore, the track order for Abracadabra has also been announced, as follows:

01. PEACE (Imai)

02. Que Sera Sera Elegy (Imai/Imai)

03. URAHARA-JUKU (Sakurai/Imai)

04. SOPHIA DREAM (Imai/Imai)

05. Tsuki no Sabaku (Sakurai/Hoshino)

06. Villain (Sakurai + Imai/Imai)

07. Kogoeru Crystal CUBE ver. (Sakurai/Hoshino)

08. Maimu (Sakurai/Imai)

09. Dance Tengoku (Sakurai/Hoshino)

10. Kemono-tachi no Yoru YOW-ROW ver. (Sakurai/Imai)

11. Datenshi YOW-ROW ver. (Sakurai/Imai)

12. MOONLIGHT ESCAPE (Sakurai/Imai)

13. Eureka (Sakurai + Imai/Imai)

14. Boukyaku (Sakurai/Imai)

Or, for those of you who want it on vinyl, the track list is as follows. From this, we can take bets on which is the longest track on the album. We vote "Kogoeru." But it might be "Boukyaku."

［A-Side］

01. PEACE (Imai)

02. Que Sera Sera Elegy (Imai/Imai)

03. URAHARA-JUKU (Sakurai/Imai)

04. SOPHIA DREAM (Imai/Imai)

［B-Side］

01. Tsuki no Sabaku (Sakurai/Hoshino)

02. Villain (Sakurai + Imai/Imai)

03. Kogoeru Crystal CUBE ver. (Sakurai/Hoshino)

［C-Side］

01. Maimu (Sakurai/Imai)

02. Dance Tengoku (Sakurai/Hoshino)

03. Kemono-tachi no Yoru YOW-ROW ver. (Sakurai/Imai)

04. Datenshi YOW-ROW ver. (Sakurai/Imai)

［D-Side］

01. MOONLIGHT ESCAPE (Sakurai/Imai)

02. Eureka (Sakurai + Imai/Imai)

03. Boukyaku (Sakurai/Imai)

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In other news, Buck-Tick have announced that they're doing another series of live streams of old concert videos, this time on Wednesday nights. But that didn't stop the web site from announcing it like this:

"BUCK-TICK WEDNESDAY LIVE STREAMING" will start on August 5th (Wed)!

On the "Buck-Tick Public Channel" on YouTube, live videos released from Buck-Tick's current label, Lingua Sounda/Victor Entertainment, will be live streamed every Wednesday from 9PM. Go ahead and register for the channel!

BUCK-TICK SATURDAY LIVE STREAMING

▼August 5th (Wed) from 21:00 "TOUR Atom Miraiha No.9-FINAL-"

The final show of the "TOUR Atom Miraiha No.9" hall tour, held in 2016 at the Nippon Budoukan.

Stream URL：https://youtu.be/zWu81Xj_0Dg

In Buck-Tickistan, every Wednesday is a Saturday.

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The rest of the schedule for the streaming is as follows:

▼August 12th (Wed) from 9:00 PM - CLIMAX TOGETHER 3rd

Special live held at Yokohama Arena on September 11th, 2016.

▼August 19th (Wed) from 9:00 PM - THE PARADE ~30th anniversary~ HIGH SIDE

Second day of the two-day live series held in honor of the 30th anniversary of the band's debut on September 24th, 2017, at a special outdoor venue on Odaiba. (Guys, you streamed High Side last time. Why don't you stream Fly Side this time? The set list was better. And everyone wants to watch Mr. Sakurai fuck up the lyrics to "Serenade.") *Note: this is Toll's actual birthday.

▼August 26th (Wed) from 9:00 PM - THE DAY IN QUESTION 2017 DAY1

First day of the two-day live series held at the Nippon Budoukan on December 28th and 29th, 2017. (Oh, so you can stream Day 1 of the DIQ 2017, but not Day 1 of the 30th anniversary? What is the logic here?)

▼September 2nd (Wed) from 9:00 PM - TOUR No.0

Additional show added to the hall tour "TOUR No.0" held in 2018 at Kokusai Forum Hall A.

▼September 9th (Wed) from 9:00 PM - "Locus Solus Bestia"

Second day of the two-day live series "Locus Solus Bestia," held at Makuhari Messe on May 25th and 26th, 2019. (Again, you have streamed this before. Why not Day 1? What's wrong with Day 1? What did Day 1 ever do to you?)

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For optimal viewing of these live streams, we recommend that you take a portable speaker and go outside somewhere, preferably in the pouring rain, to make it feel like you're at a real outdoor Buck-Tick show. For enhanced mood, put a centipede* in your hair for decoration. If you get sick of it, wash it off in the rain.

(NGS founder Kame's hair was definitely not attacked by a giant centipede while Cayce and Kame were inexplicably watching the previous stream of No. 0 at Kokusai Forum on the Odaiba waterfront in the pouring rain. Because why would a thing like that ever happen? Actually, it did happen. Because we live in a very strange universe. The longer the stream went on, the harder it rained. As soon as the stream ended, the rain stopped. Mr. Sakurai is a rain god, even when he's socially distant.)

*This was a joke. Please do not handle Japanese giant centipedes. In addition to being terrifying, they are extremely poisonous. However, we are happy to report that no Kames were bitten by giant centipedes in the making of this program.

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More coming soon.

Abracadabra! and Other Magic Spells

At last, after many delays and much anticipation, Buck-Tick have announced that their 22nd studio album, Abracadabra, will be released on September 21st, 2020, which also happens to be the exact 33rd anniversary of Buck-Tick's major debut. When the band released Atom Miraiha No. 9, Imai Hisashi claimed that numerology had nothing whatever to do with his choice of album title... but he also claimed that use of the word "Atom" in the title had nothing whatever to do with Tezuka Osamu's Tetsuwan Atom (known in English as Astro Boy), yet shortly thereafter, he appeared onstage with his hair styled just like Astro Boy, and the band released officially licensed Buck-Tick x Astro Boy collaborative tour goods, so y'all can decide for yourselves whether to believe everything that comes out of Imai Hisashi's mouth. Buck-Tick then followed Atom Miraiha No. 9 with the album No. 0, adding further evidence to the claim that they have absolutely zero fucks to give about numerology. 

Fun fact about No. 0: the reign of the new Japanese emperor, Naruhito, which began on May 1st, 2019, is titled "Reiwa" (令和). This name was announced in March 2019, after much top-secret deliberation. The first kanji, 令, means "command of God," while the second kanji, 和, means "harmony," and is also used to refer to Japan and Japanese culture. So the meaning of Reiwa could be seen as "harmony [in Japan] under the divine order," or "the gods declare, thou shalt create harmony [in Japan]". However, Reiwa has a second double meaning: "zero-zero." Why? Because "rei" (零) is the word for "zero," and "wa" (輪) means "circle" (and of course, a zero is a circle). It was a Shinto priest who explained to us just how much there is to unpack here - one could imagine the gods ordering humanity to "reset to zero" for a new era, and create harmony in the image of the world's people holding hands in a circle around the earth. In numerology, the zero represents coming full circle, the end of an old cycle and the beginning of a new one, the alpha and omega in one, the emptiness of the void out of which arises all of creation. Meanwhile, as we discussed when Atom Miraiha No. 9 was released, in numerology, 9 represents the ending and completion of a cycle. That Buck-Tick followed No. 9 with No. 0 is definitely not a coincidence. But what's even more intriguing is the fact that No. 0 was released in March 2018, a whole year before Reiwa was announced. It's almost like they knew in advance. Spooky!

Now, they're releasing their 22nd studio album on their 33rd anniversary. This is an unusual move - in Japan, new musical releases are nearly always released on a Wednesday, and Buck-Tick has stuck with this release schedule for the entire length of time we've been following the band, and probably much longer. However, September 21st, 2020 is a Monday, and not only that, it's a national holiday - Respect for the Aged Day (Grandparents' Day). Buck-Tick have released a lot of albums in September - One Life, One Death (September 20th, 2000), Tenshi no Revolver (September 19th, 2007), Yumemiru Uchuu (September 19th, 2012), and Atom Miraiha No. 9 (September 28th, 2016) - but you can see that never before have they bothered to time the release date exactly to their anniversary. Why this time? 

It might have something to do with numerology. For the most part, numerology only uses the single-digit numbers 0-9, but the exceptions to this rule are the so-called "master numbers": 11, 22, and 33. In numerology, the master numbers are considered to have higher, more powerful vibrations. The 11 is the number of intuition, inspiration, awakening, and non-duality (the push-pull of the yin and the yang). The 22 is called the "master builder," because it is the number of taking the ideas inspired by the 11 and making them into realities. The 33 is called the "master teacher," because it is the number of transmitting messages from higher dimensions of the cosmos to the earthly realm. 

The number 33 is found throughout the lore of many religious, mystical and esoteric traditions. Lunar calendars, such as those used to calculate the timing of various religious holy days such as Ramadan, operate on 33-year cycles - that is to say, it takes 33 years for the months of a lunar calendar to return to their original position in the year. There are also 33 bones in the human spine - significant because many mystical traditions speak of spiritual awakening as the vital force rising up from the base of the spine to the pineal gland in the brain (the actual "third eye" structure in the brain), opening one up to experience of higher consciousness. The 33 can also be seen to represent the two triangles of the merkaba or Star of David, which in turn represent the principle "as above, so below" - the micro reflected in the macro, and vice versa. The upward-facing triangle represents the flow of energy downward from heaven to earth, while the downward-facing triangle represents the flow of energy upward from earth to heaven (or was it the other way around? or does it even matter?), with the human consciousness in the middle, living bound by earthly reality, while seeking for higher awareness. The 33 is a doubling of the 3, the triangle, considered the most basic magic number by magicians, witches and alchemists of all stripes since ancient times... and intimately connected to the magic of "Abracadabra," but we'll get to that in a bit.

The Star of David / Merbaka (3D Star of David, two interpenetrating tetrahedrons, said to be the structure of the human aura)

Then there's the whole study of the mystery of "angel numbers," also known as synchronicity numbers - those numbers you just keep happening to notice everywhere. Does this happen to y'all? Like every time you happen to look at the clock, you see that it's 11:11, or 2:22, or 4:44, or what have you. Or you pay for something in a shop and the total comes out to be 11.11 or some other repdigit. Or you see repdigits on you social media accounts, in the number of likes on your tweet or views on your video. Or you see them on license plates, billboards - the list goes on. And it seems to happen a lot, completely spontaneously. Maybe you see the same non-repdigit numbers over and over, for example, double numbers like 1313 or 2020, or palindrome numbers like 3223 or 4884. Maybe you keep seeing the digits of your birthday, or some other personal lucky number. It's not just you. It happens to lots of people, often far too often to be mere random coincidences (do random coincidences even exist? We're not sure they do. If you want to have fun with this, speak this spell out loud, and mean it: "Hey, universe, show me 2357!" Watch and wait for 2357 to show up. If you meant what you asked, it will.)

As the name "angel numbers" suggests, many people believe that these numbers are messages from guardian angels or higher dimensions, and numerologists, occultists and psychics have used the principles of numerology to attempt to translate the meaning of the messages (for in-depth further reading on this topic for those interested, we recommend this site). Because of the fact that the 33 is a higher octave of 3 (the Trinity), and the fact that 33 represents the link between heaven and earth, 33 (and longer sequences of 3's) as an angel number is seen as indicating the protective presence of angels (or spirit guides or whatever you want to call them). As we discussed in our article on "Datenshi," angels and heaven are a major theme in Buck-Tick's work, going right back to Seventh Heaven and "Angelic Conversation" (which is jam-packed with esoteric symbolism, but that's a topic for another article). Not directly relevant, since Buck-Tick are probably not scholars of synchronicity number meanings, but interesting all the same. The foundational belief behind numerology is that numbers express the fundamental truth of the universe - a belief shared by quantum physicists, just not in the same way. So, maybe it's not necessary to have overt knowledge of the numbers in order to employ their meaning. Maybe they just come out.

All in all, 33 is one special number! It might just be coincidence that Abracadabra is Buck-Tick's 22nd original studio album, but since they have the chance, it seems like a one-of-a-kind chance for some magical hoodoo that they should release their 22nd album on their 33rd anniversary. The 22 - building inspirations into realities. The 33 - sharing transcendental magic with the world. That's exactly what B-T do, right? And Abracadabra is magic that goes back a long, long time.

These days, when most people hear the word "abracadabra," they think of stage magic - the guy in the fancy suit waves a black stick over his silk tophat, says "abracadabra!" and pop! out of the hat comes a rabbit. Everyone knows that stage "magic" isn't magic at all - just deftly worked illusion. Real magic - that's an entirely different idea, spanning thousands of years of occult study, and in fact, "abracadabra" was once used as a serious magic spell.

In fact, the word "abracadabra" is so old that no one knows where it originated from, and some even claim that it pre-dates Babylon and the mythical Tower of Babel, and is therefore a word from the universal language which humanity supposedly spoke before the destruction of Babel. The reason cited for this is that "abracadabra" even today is used more or less universally across human languages without being translated. Obviously, evidence doesn't support the idea that everyone spoke a universal language before the time of Babylon - language is constantly evolving, and groups of people separated from one another will naturally evolve different languages over time, that's just how language works. But the idea of an ancient language of the universe, handed down by mystic scholars and used to work magic, is an idea that surely goes back to before Babylon, so the notion that "abracadabra" is a word from such a language isn't as silly as you might think.

There are various other theories about the origins of abracadabra, though none of them can be substantiated, because the archaeological evidence is long gone. According to one theory, abracadabra comes from the similarly ancient magic word "abraxas" or "abrasax," found in Gnostic texts and on ancient carved stone talismans. Just like abracadabra, nobody can say for certain where abraxas originated (Greece? Egypt? the Middle East?). The seven letters are thought to represent the seven planets that were known to the ancient world, and the word itself was used to refer to the "Archon of the 365 heavenly spheres," the Gnostic supreme being. The word itself may have been derived from the Ancient Hebrew words "ab, ben, ruach hakodesh," or the similar Ancient Greek words, "ab, ben, rouach, hakadōs," meaning "Father, Son, Holy Spirit"... which brings us back to abracadabra, because another theory is that abracadabra was derived from those words, and rather than abracadabra being derived from abraxas, abraxas was derived from abracadabra.

Another theory posits that abracadabra was derived from the Aramaic phrase "avra kehdabra," meaning "I create as I speak," or "I create like the Word." That's a powerful idea, considering that real magic is, in its essence, the act of directly reality through force of will. Alternatively, others believe that abracadabra was derived from a similar phrase, "avra kadavra," meaning "let it be destroyed." Whether these are actually two different phrases, two different translations of the same phrase and one of the translations is wrong, or they're two different meanings of the same phrase and both of the translations are right is not something we've been able to discover, and perhaps nobody knows - Aramaic is a very old, very dead language. But if "avra kadavra" makes you think of avada kedavra in Harry Potter, you're right on the money - this is indeed where J.K. Rowling got the idea for her killing curse incantation.

So, were the ancients using "abracadabra" as a spell to kill each other? Far from it! In addition to divining the future, one of the most important applications of magic in pre-modern times was for protection and healing. Since pre-history, healers, witches and shamans were often one in the same - the people with knowledge of both medicinal herbs and of the unseen realms of spirit and energy. These days, we've been taught to laugh at the crazy or silly-seeming medical practices of the past - but there was often a lot more to them than Westerners brainwashed by Big Pharma like to admit, and not only are the effectiveness of herbal remedies and traditional therapies such as acupuncture and sound healing being verified by high and mighty modern research, but the real therapeutic value of plant medicines such cannabis and magic mushrooms, which were used by shamans since ancient times, is being re-acknowledged. (Did y'all know that used correctly, psychedelics can be far more effective at treating depression than any anti-depressant ever? Studies in peer-reviewed journals show! No wonder Imai's so happy!) This ancient healing magic was not all hooey, not remotely.

However, "abracadabra" was most likely not effective at what it was designed for - as a ward against the plague. Yes, you heard right. That's why the original meaning of the phrase may be "let it be destroyed." The aim was to destroy the plague. The first known appearance of "abracadabra" in print was in the writings of Serenus Sammonicus, physician to the Roman emperor Caracalla in the 2nd century C.E. Sammonicus recommended that sick people should wear an amulet around their necks with the word abracadabra inscribed as an inverted triangle, losing one letter per line. The gradual reduction in the letters was supposed to slowly drive the sickness from the body. This triangle is called an "abracadabrangle." (And you thought "abracadabra" was an awesome word!)

The concept caught on, and these abracadabra talismans were all the rage throughout Europe during plagues, even as late as the 1700's, when Daniel Defoe scoffed at them, writing,

"People deceiv'd; and this was in wearing Charms, Philters, Exorcisms,  Amulets, and I know not what Preparations, to fortify the Body with them against the Plague; as if the Plague was but a kind of a Possession of an evil Spirit; and that it was to be kept off with Crossings, Signs of the Zodiac, Papers tied up with so many Knots; and certain Words, or Figures written on them, as particularly the Word Abracadabra, form'd in Triangle, or Pyramid...

How the poor People found the Insufficiency of those things, and how many of them were afterwards carried away in the Dead-Carts."

We can only imagine what a field day he'd have had in 2020, smugly looking down his nose and feeling superior both to conspiracy theorists and people who dare to go outside and have fun alike. (It's a fact that complaining about the behavior of others so that you can feel superior provides 100% immunity to the coronavirus!!!)

Honestly, Danny (can we call you Danny?) If you're gonna die of the plague, you might as well do it in style... and these abracadabra charms are stylish as fuck! They're even more stylish than Buck-Tick printed masks! And they're still in production today, based on the old designs.

(Please, guys. Tour goods. Even if there's no tour. Please make us some silver Buck-Tick Abracadabrangle necklaces. We will gladly wear them even if it means we get smugly sniffed at by Daniel Defoe. You will pry our gothic occult jewelry from our cold, dead bodies as they lie pickled in hand sanitizer in refrigerated morgue trucks in the queue for another slapdash coronafuneral... just kidding, goths are immune to the coronavirus!)

Abracadabrangle charms were also often put over the doorways of houses to keep the plague out, possibly in a nod to the final plague of Egypt in the Bible.

Anyhow, it wasn't until much more recently that "abracadabra" became adopted as a word of choice for stage magicians. In a now-scientific world, with the microbial causes of disease understood, magic wards against illness began to seem silly (then again... people in 2020 are drinking bleach and dying, to try and stop themselves dying of the coronavirus, so... compared to that, an Abracadabrangle seems quite sane and logical.) Anything resembling "real" magic came to be ridiculed by the global hegemony of materialist science. Abracadabra and other magic words are lol. Let's cut naked ladies in half with saws, pull rabbits out of hats, and drink to the fact that now, at last, we know everything there is to know, go to bed snug at night knowing that no witches, ghosts, gods, or aliens exist, and they never have. We are very smart, with very selfish genes. Ancient peoples were primitive and superstitious savages.

The thing is, it's actually a big, mysterious world out there, full of a vast number of things we don't understand. We don't even understand gravity! So many years and so many particle accelerators later, and physicists still have not a clue what made Newton's apple fall. What we call "matter" is 99.9999% "empty space." Why? What is the universe, really? Those primitive and superstitious savages claimed it was a living, breathing, conscious being. So did Sakurai Atsushi, on Yumemiru Uchuu. Can we be so sure that they're wrong? 

Meanwhile, the US government just announced last week that UFOs are real, and that the extraterrestrial explanation appears to be the most likely one, and we have exactly zero idea what the UFOs are or how they work. And guys... didn't we tell you at the beginning of the year that 2020 was going to be the year the aliens landed? Keep your eyes, hearts, and minds open, and your alchemical homunculus flasks at the ready. The world just might turn out to be far more magical than you think. Buck-Tick knew Reiwa was coming. The ancient wisdom of Buck-Tickistan is a very, very deep well. What else do they know that they have yet to reveal?

Whatever it is, it's surely not on the English version of the special website promoting the release of the Abracadabra album. This website, which in addition to being the most boring, lazily designed site we have ever seen, was very definitely NOT written by Cayce, tells us:

"The latest album "ABRACADABRA" released by BUCK-TICK, a rock band that has been shocking many times with its own musicality, on the anniversary of its 33rd debut.

Along with the rapid changes in the way music was delivered, the band continued to evolve as an immobile and lonely entity."

Here, kids, we're going to teach you another cool-sounding word: "gobbledygook." The definition: "language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand." What exactly does that mean, "immobile and lonely entity"? Do they mean like a lone UFO just floating up there in the sky, not moving? We're pretty sure Buck-Tick *did* come from outer space, so that's plausible, but... no. What they were trying to say is "unshakable and fiercely independent." Translators: proving to you that yes, words ARE magic, every day of the year. Have a word problem? Hire a translator today! (Real talk, it actually hurt us with physical pain to read the English version of this site. Buck-Tick badly need a different web management team.)

Anyway, the big news about the release of this album is that, for the first time since Taboo, the album will be released not only to CD, but also to cassette tape and *drumroll* VINYL! (And, you know, digital download and streaming services, yawn, snore. But oh wait... it was because of us putting pressure on them that they did that! You rock, Blog-Tickers! And for overseas fans in this age of no-international-shipping-from-Japan, it's a damn good thing they took our advice or they'd have lost out on a lot of potential money from their overseas fanbase.)

As far as the vinyl thing goes, we have a personal confession to make. After every Buck-Tick concert, the venue staff pass out feedback questionnaires about the show to all the fans, and we've noticed over the years that they really take this feedback to heart. Over the course of the past few tours, we've been consistently offering three specific suggestions on the questionnaires: 1) release an acoustic album or play an acoustic show, 2) offer a fanclub-sanctioned ticket trading service, 3) if you want to play something catchy and repetitive, please play "Ai no Uta" instead of all those bop-bop songs, 4) release commemorative LP versions of your post-Taboo back catalog.

The ticket trading service is a shambles, but they did it. The acoustic section of Locus Solus was almost as surprising and exciting as finally hearing "Ai no Uta" for the first time in our thirteen years of following the band on every tour. And now, an LP version of Abracadabra!  Knowing the Japanese fanbase, we find it unlikely that many other fans besides us, if indeed any at all, would have made these same suggestions. The type of Buck-Tick fan who goes to shows and writes questionnaires is, to put it politely, not the kind who owns record players. Yeah, vinyl is having a major comeback and all the cool kids are doing it. Maybe it's all coincidence. And it's not like we signed our questionnaires "Hocus Pocus, Alacazam, Love, Cayce." But we kind of don't believe in coincidences. We're pretty sure that words are magic. Abra-ca-fucking-dabra!

All told, the album will be released in five versions, one for each of the five band members. They are, as follows:

Special Precious Limited Edition CD (Acchan version because he's the most special, precious band member said all the fangirls who will buy this version of the album)

5,500 yen + tax / with BluRay

5,000 yen + tax/ with DVD

(ooh look it's a 555 Abracadabrangle! Acchan-chan's life path number is 5! Spooooooky!)

The BluRay/DVD will contain a music video for the new YOW-ROW mix of "Kemono-tachi no Yoru," otherwise known as "Night of the Beasts ~tryhard fanboy mix~". It will also contain a multi-angle version of the music video for "Moonlight Escape," with one cut for each band member, as well as the music video for "Kogoeru."

In addition, the limited edition will come with special packaging, as well as a lottery ticket to enter to win goods signed by the band members* (please please please let it be a signed Abracadabrangle!) and a link for streaming the contents to your love, companion, and codependent addiction in this time of social distancing especially smartphone until September 30th, 2021.

*Please note that though the Buck-Tick members are immune, YOU can get coronavirus from signatures. Enter this lottery at your own risk.

**That was a joke don't take it seriously also don't microwave your mail.

Regular CD Edition (Toll version, because he is simple and honest, and the regular CD was the older brother of the limited edition CD)

3,000 yen + tax

No frills on this one - just the album, on high-fidelity SHM-CD that can be played in all players. Also contains a lottery ticket to enter the lottery to win signed goods, and a link for streaming the contents to your smartphone until September 30th, 2021.

Analog LP Edition (Hide version because of that fake or are they real wall of records he keeps getting photographed in front of, and because he's a trendy hipster)

4,500 yen + tax

Contains a 2-disc set of 180 gram vinyl LPs, with the whole album on four sides. Also comes with a special poster, a lottery ticket to enter the lottery to win signed goods, and a link for streaming the contents to your smartphone until September 30th, 2021. Doesn't contain a free download code like every other record released these days, because the B-T management are money-grubbing bastards, and they want you to punish you for wanting the album on vinyl by forcing you to buy the album twice if you want it in high-fi digital instead of ripping it by hand from the vinyl to your computer. Yes, Cayce has software for digitally ripping vinyl. Yes, digitally ripping vinyl is a pain-in-the-ass process that requires manually dividing up the tracks in a DAW (for those of you laypeople, that's a Digital Audio Workstation, sound-editing software). Yes, Cayce will also buy the limited edition CD in order to get the DVD. But come on.

Cassette Tape (Imai version because the curly reels of tape look like the curlicues on his guitar, and on his shoes)

2,800 yen

Contains a lottery ticket to enter the lottery to win signed goods, and a link for streaming the contents to your smartphone until September 30th, 2021. And super hipster bragging rights that you bought the album in the cheapest physical format and that format is a cassette tape. Listen to it on your Walkman. (Fun fact: yes Cayce has a cassette tape player. Yes, we also have software for digitally ripping cassette tapes. No, we're not going to rip the Abracadabra casette tape and those cheap fucking bastards should have provided a download code.)

High-Resolution Streaming (Yutaka version. Yutaka himself is a high-resolution stream.)

48kHz 24-bit format, close to the original master tapes. To be streamable by special software apps: Rekochoku, mora Hi-Res, and mora qualitas. No word on the price but they'll probably make you pay 500 yen each time as if it were a gacha-gacha. Because if you are gullible enough to buy into the scam of streaming, you deserve to be scammed.

Digital Download/General Streaming Services (One streaming service per B-T behind-the-scenes collaborator, including Yokoyama Kazutoshi, Cube Juice, Yow-Row, Mr. Tanaka, etc. - they couldn't do it without you) 

No word on the price, but the album will be available on major digital download and streaming platforms starting September 21st. For details on the streaming and download platforms, go to the Abracadabra official site.

Whoops, that was six formats, not five. Numerology is hard work!

As we mentioned before, the Japan Post is not currently shipping internationally, less out of a fear of the virus and more out of a lack of sufficient transportation, it seems. However, it's unlikely that this lame situation will continue forever, so if any of y'all are interested in ordering any of these items through Cayce, shoot us an email. We will purchase them for you and hold them for you until international shipping to your country resumes.

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As if that weren't enough new info already... Buck-Tick have also released the new album's song titles and writing credits, though they say that the order of the tracks has yet to be determined. So, in no particular order, here goes.

PEACE（SE） (music: Imai Hisashi)

"SE" stands for "stage entrance." This is the instrumental music that plays while the band comes on stage during live shows. Raise your hand if you, too, wish Buck-Tick would release an SE compilation album. That's a questionnaire suggestion we made that they haven't taken us up on.

URAHARA-JUKU (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Ura-Harajuku, or "backstreet Harajuku" is the internal area of Harajuku between Omotesando and Meiji-doori, away from Harajuku station. For many years, especially in the 80's and 90's, this was one of the edgiest, most interesting fashion spots in all Tokyo. These days, it's gentrified as hell like the rest of the district, and its glory is mostly gone, though a few vestiges remain here and there. This title is a pun, however. "Urahara" means "reverse" or "contrary," and "juku" means "cram school." A cram school on how to be punk? Yeah, Buck-Tick could definitely teach that school.

Datenshi - YOW-ROW ver.  (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

I know, you know, I know this song already. (Singable with the original melody!)

MOONLIGHT ESCAPE  (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Reportedly a catchy, retro number in which Sakurai passes on some wisdom from his hard-knock life to the sad boys and girls of the world. More on this one soon.

Kogoeru ("Frozen") - Crystal CUBE ver. (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Hoshino Hidehiko)

Mixed by Cube Juice. A Hide song that gets its own PV. Amazing! We have our fingers crossed that Sakurai wears a pale blue sparkly dress and lets it GO!

Kemono-tachi no Yoru ("Night of the Beasts") - YOW-ROW ver. (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Cube Juice already had his way with the song and proved himself to be an artistic, tender, and passionate lover. We bet Yow-Row's version is full of dubstep and finishes fast, like a teenage boy. The robot who writes the English version of the official site translated the title of this song as "Beasts' Night," because not only do robots have no sense of poetry, they also don't read Not Greatest Site.

Tsuki no Sabaku ("Desert of the Moon") (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Hoshino Hidehiko)

Reportedly a medium-tempo number with a Japanese-style tribal beat (according to Sakurai).

Maimu -Mime- ("Dancing Dream") (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Another pun here - Sakurai spells "mime" with the kanji "mai" (dance) and "mu" (dream).

Villain (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi + Imai Hisashi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Interesting title! Must be about the past life in which Acchan-chan was a Romanian vampire and Imai was Hugo Ball.

Dance Tengoku ("Dance Paradise") (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Hoshino Hidehiko)

A dance number by Hoshino Hidehiko. This one must be tropical rock for sure.

Que Sera Sera Elegy (lyrics: Imai Hisashi / music: Imai Hisashi)

"Que sera sera, whatever will be will be? The future's too hard to see, que sera sera" - go the lyrics to the original song. If this is an elegy for that philosophy, does that mean we get to learn to see the future?

SOPHIA DREAM  (lyrics: Imai Hisashi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Omg is Imai dreaming of another woman? How dare you cheat, Imai! Shame! And with the Goddess of Wisdom, no less! Then again, given that Sophia is known for her wisdom, not her sensuality, perhaps it's a merely intellectual affair. Or perhaps, this is about Jung's archetype Sophia, the most highly evolved stage of anima integration, in which a man has fully integrated his feminine aspect to the point that he sees women as fully developed individuals with all the same range of qualities as men. A man at this level of anima integration has fully accepted, and can make full use of, his feminine energy. See what we wrote about the Divine Feminine in this article.

Eureka (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi + Imai Hisashi / music: Imai Hisashi)

Ancient Greek for "I've found it!" Famously, Ancient Greek polymath Archimedes ran out of his house naked shouting "eureka!" after stepping into his overflowing bathtub gave him the idea to measure the purity of gold alloys through displacement of water (other metals are less dense than gold, and thus take up more space than pure gold, and thus displace more water - this is how you tell if the goldsmith is cheating you.) Imai says that he wrote this song last, and it took him about five minutes. He says it was born out of his nebulous sense of rage and frustration at the pandemic. Rage, Imai, rage!

Boukyaku ("Forgotten") (lyrics: Sakurai Atsushi / music: Imai Hisashi)

The official album site has this translated as "oblivion," but the kanji literally mean "forgetting and retreating," so this is only oblivion in the sense of something completely forgotten, not the nothingness of the great void. Therefore, we're better than "forgotten" is a better translation. But we'll have to see the lyrics to know for sure.

So that's the album! There are a total of 14 tracks, which is generous of them, though we don't understand why "Rondo," masterpiece as it is, was not included... but who knows, maybe it just didn't fit the vibe. We'll have to wait and see.

More info on the other news from Buck-Tickistan coming soon.