We Are Mortal

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Tonight was the night, folks, and as we made our way to Tower Records beneath the picture-perfect roiling clouds and rain-soaked sky, the first thing we noticed upon arrival was this sign over the door (salaryman shown for scale.)

Yes, that's right, folks. Not only did it rain in a deliciously languorous and existentially despairing sort of way all day long, tonight was a Tower Records party in The Mortal's honor! The display advertising the new album was right smack in front of the main entrance, thus:

The writing beneath the 3D foam core cutouts of the band members reads, "The Mortal's Long-Awaited First Album: aesthetics to the max! The dark and altogether too-gorgeous songs are so sexy you'll tremble!" Somebody at Tower is a major Mortal fanboy, and I kind of think it's the events coordinator.

But that wasn't all! On the wall facing the CD displays was this larger-than-life mural that filled the entire wall!

And if that picture doesn't convey how big it is, maybe this one will! (Mysterious hooded goth figure shown for scale.)

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But perhaps the best moment of the night was when we returned home and attempted to rip the album to our computer using iTunes, and the Gracenote database came up with the track information. The listed genre: "Religious."

Welcome to the Church of Acchan-chan, y'all. Just stand under the rain, think about cats, look up at the moon, dream a dream, fondly remember your mother, devotedly kiss your pet skull, grab your own balls, feel vaguely aroused, and feel the prayer. PRAISE BE!

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In other news, The Mortal have announced a new tour goods item: The Mortal Eau de Toilette. Ladies and gentlemen, I once again sincerely apologize for failing to predict this, as it's entirely too predictable. And congrats to Mr. Sakurai, because he's on a roll here - this will be the second corpse-themed perfume he'll have released in the past year, and I'm doubting even Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab can out-goth that one (n.b. to those of you who are currently in goth school and taking the elective course Image & Appearance 315 "Scents and Sensibility: A Guide to Gothic Perfumery" - this might...just MIGHT...be on the pop quiz tomorrow. You've been warned.)

From The Mortal's official site:

Eau de Toilette "The Mortal"

price: 6900 yen

volume: 50 ml (1.70 fluid ounces)

ingredients: alcohol, fragrance, water

made in Japan

To express, in a scent, the sensibility of The Mortal with Sakurai Atsushi at its center, Eau de Toilette "The Mortal" was born.

As time passes, the fruity, inviting scent transforms into a luxurious floral note underneath, with musk plucking the main melody on the strings of this sensual fragrance.

*Supplies at the live dates will be limited, so we recommend that customers order through the B-T web shop

What follows is an impressively long list of disclaimers advising that the perfume cannot be returned unless the item is faulty, that the perfume is flammable and thus cannot be shipped by air mail, and that fangirls should absolutely definitely most certainly not use this perfume if they have allergies, sensitive skin, or other relevant problems.

Sadly, due to Japanese law regarding transport of dangerous substances, this perfume cannot be shipped through the international post. Why is the perfume dangerous, you ask? Well, it's basically a DEATH IN A BOTTLE, you know. The name ought to speak for itself! Also, it contains alcohol and therefore they are afraid you might drink it (the Japanese postal authorities are well aware of the fact that all Buck-Tick fans are incurable alcoholics. They're remarkably thorough that way.) Also, this perfume is literally so slitheringly sultry and sensual and sexylicious that the authorities are afraid it might inadvertently turn into a SEX bomb and BLOW blow up any plane carrying it. 

So, sorry, fans. If you were hoping to buy this EAU DE MORTALITÉ so you could smell like Acchan-chan's armpit hair, you are out of luck. If you are were hoping to buy this so you could smell like the inside of Jake's moist and steamy knickers, you are out of luck...probably. But if you really, really want it, go ahead and send us an email and we'll see what we can do. International perfume couriers have been known to pass our way from time to time. Depending on what country you live in, we may be able to swing it.

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That's all for now, more soon.