21.9.16

New World, New Lyrics

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The lyrics and translations to both tracks on New World are now up over on This is NOT Greatest Site, so go and feast your curiosity! I must say that I'm extremely glad I chose to hold off on translating these until I had a chance to read the official lyric booklet - after ten years of doing this I thought I'd gotten pretty good at deciphering lyrics, but it turns out what I thought I heard was nothing but a bunch of mondegreens, which means that "mondegreen" is now our official Not Greatest Word of the Day. What does it mean? It means, a misheard word. Like when you were a kid and you thought the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was called "Lucy and This Guy with Diamonds."

In any case, I have saved myself from embarrassment by rightfully refusing to print the mondegreens, and thus I offer you nothing but the 100% accurate official lyrics. As usual, I have written my English lyrics to be singable with the original melody, which means that I've stretched the meaning in a few places, but not by so much that it matters. There's a lot to discuss, content-wise, so if you'd like to discuss, feel free to do so in the comments section of this post.

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20.9.16

New World, New Tower

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We braved the typhoon to pick up the new single at Tower Records, and entered the store only to find a truly gigantic Buck-Tick banner hanging on the wall! Unfortunately, Imai looks like he's been doing a bit too much cum uh sol nu lately.


For reference on just how big the poster was, here it is next to the CD display and the Buck-Tick Cafe menu.


And here's the ad for the album on the third floor. At the bottom, you can see a picture of the large-sized badge you get for free if you purchase the album at Tower. In keeping with the NuGoth designs, it's minimalist black and white...just the sort of thing you could feel comfortable showing off at one of the club events at Trump Room across the street.


If you still want to order the album from us, or any of the magazines, it's not too late. Just send us an email.

Tower Presents: The Buck-Tick Cafe

Tomorrow the new world is calling you, folks. In one more day, you get to find out what those Devils' Wings really sound like (taste like?) A typhoon is about to hit Japan but so long as the trains are still running, we'll be traipsing out to Shibuya to check out the new release shrine and pick up some CDs and mags for y'all while we're at it.

But it's a testament to how spoiled people get when they live in Tokyo, that when we called up our friends one by one and invited them to share a bottle of Buck-Tick beer with us at the Buck-Tick cafe after the Tower run tomorrow, every single one of them begged off.

"Too tired," sighed one.

"No money," lamented another.

"For the past two months, I've been too depressed and miserable to leave my house," kvetched a third.

"I can't make it, I have to work nights so I can afford to attend every single gig on the Atom Miraiha Hall Tour," we were briskly informed by a fourth.

"The spirit is willing, but the body is perpetually weak. But we're always with you in spirit. And we mean always," said a fifth, rather creepily.

And so on down the gamut of excuses. It makes us sad, it truly does...because we know you readers in other countries would do almost anything for a chance to drink some real, bona-fide B-T beer in a bar within view of Laforet Harajuku. If any of you want to hop on a plane right now, you're welcome to join us tomorrow for a cuppa.

But in fact...we have a confession to make, and the confession is this: we've already been to the Tower Buck-Tick Cafe. We simply enjoyed it so much we'd like to go again.

Three times is certainly the charm, it seems, at least where Buck-Tick cafes are concerned. The first attempt at a Buck-Tick cafe happened with the release of Yumemiru Uchuu, when NicoNico created a Buck-Tick themed cafe space in their Harajuku shop. While the NicoNico cafe boasted some interesting attractions such as a Buck-Tick purikura machine in which it was possible to take photos fake-smooching the band members, a graffiti wall where fans could draw pictures of whatever they liked, a costume exhibit, and a distinctly unappetizing black curry, it had some major drawbacks, such as the fact that it was only open for a week, it closed every night at 8PM sharp, and it didn't serve alcohol.

The second Buck-Tick cafe appeared to celebrate the release of Arui wa Anarchy, at the Cafe Manduuka next to Tower Records Shibuya. While this event featured Buck-Tick placemats, coasters and wall decor, and the cafe itself stayed open till 11PM and did serve booze (plus it was right next to Tower Records where fans had just bought the album), the mediocre food offerings were not Buck-Tick themed, and the sound of Arui wa Anarchy being played over the speakers was drowned out by the loud shrieks and giggling of drunken gyaru girls who were definitely not Buck-Tick fangirls, because Shibuya is a trashy town for trashy teenyboppers, and goths and people over age 25 are unlikely to feel at home there unless it's the middle of the night.

This time, at last, they've finally learned: not only is the Tower Records Buck-Tick Cafe open for a total of three weeks and open till 11PM every night, it serves both Buck-Tick themed food and Buck-Tick themed booze, and while it may not offer anything so exciting as a costume exhibit or a purikura machine, it does have a lot of back issues of magazines. Plus, as we found out for ourselves, the food is damn good.

It's a bit of a walk from Tower Records Shibuya - about ten minutes up Meiji Street, then a little jog down Omotesando, in the heart of (sadly gentrified) Harajuku. However, from the entrance on up, the place makes it clear that non-B-T fans are not welcome.

At the entrance. Most Wanted: these five guys!


And a peek through the door...


A line of empty Buck-Tick beer bottles adorned the window. When our party arrived, there were no seats at the tables, only at the counter overlooking Omotesando, but soon, a space opened up right underneath the projection screen which was currently playing the live DVD of the Razzle Dazzle Tour.

Just in time for the start of the DVD...


And oh look, here comes Acchan-chan-chan-chan-chan.


And did we mention...the Buck-Tick beer is really original Buck-Tick beer? You can even take the bottles home if you like. On this slow weekday evening, very few fans had bothered to show up, so the Diabolo Lucifer chicken was still available, as was the Angelfish Fish & Chips. While the Diabolo chicken was really nothing more than bog-standard fried chicken, the quality was more than satisfactory, and the sharp knives provided to help cut the chicken lent themselves naturally to joking imitations of the "Romance" PV.

As for the Angelfish, it was a lot better than the title made it sound - yummy fish and chips, though I think somebody forgot to tell them the meaning of the word "chips" in this context. What you served us, my fine Tower friends...those are crisps. I recognize that when it comes to potatoes, Japan speaks American, not British, but on the other hand, Buck-Tick recorded a whole album in London. You can accuse us of having a chip on our shoulder, but really we just want to chip in to make this cafe an authentic success.

The Buck-tick label tags were actually edible (if tasteless) rice cakes coated in black food dye. Like conversation hearts, but more rectangular, and none of them said "fax me."


The walls were covered with an admirable number of photo panels.



These panels of the band members are more or less life sized.





If anyone wants the collaboration goods, just let us know - they're still available. In addition to the Victor dog mug, there are black cafe aprons that read "Buck-Tick Cafe" in a NuGoth font. Highly recommended for those of you who are into the whole naked-but-for-an-apron fetish game.




And here it is...the Serious Latte in a Victor Mutt Mug, accompanied by Toll's Kick Highball, both sitting on complimentary Buck-Tick coasters! (With an empty B-T beer bottle in the background...because it's not a Buck-Tick fan party till there's at least one empty Buck-tick beer bottle kicking around. If anyone wants the bottle, we'll sell it to you for 100 yen.)



The verdict: it was a good latte, but the perfect Serious Bear image was attained via a stencil (we saw it hanging in the window of the kitchen.) We could shame the baristas, but honestly - that would be a lot of bears to draw in one day. A stencil gets the job done faster. Despite the odd mixture of sake with ginger ale, the Kick Highball was a damn sight more palatable than any Kaku Highball we've ever had the misfortune of drinking. Actually, it was quite tasty. Maybe if we make it back again before the place closes down, we'll try Sakurai's Sunrise Tequila just for shits and giggles, though methinks it doesn't have the same magical effect unless you drink it at dawn while doing a sun salutation. Otherwise it's just a pointless exercise in diluting perfectly good tequila. We'd have tried #SexyBeastHide's cream soda, if we were ever willing to put melon flavoring into our bodies, but in our very well informed real-life experience, melon-flavored drinks are best seen and not imbibed. Sorry, Hide.

In addition to the scenes pictured above, the cafe was chock-full of back issues of various magazines the Buck-Tick members have appeared in over the past three years, including the lost The Mortal issue of Ongaku to Hito. Hide and Yutaka's autobiographies were also for sale. Not only that, but the maitre'd is a real-life color-contact-wearing anime bishounen who looked to be in his late 30's...so not too young for you Buck-Tick fan ladies!

Buck-Tick beer, bishounen and Harajuku style - truly, this is a classic classy weeb's night out! And don't be shy boys, because we definitely spotted a gray-haired old man drinking at the counter all by his onesies. The only thing that would make it better would be if it's a PokeStop, but since it appears that no Buck-Tick fans play Pokemon Go, we cannot verify one way or another.

(Imai-chu, I choose you!)

Thus concludes our report.

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But...if you're busting out of your knickers so hard that you can't wait for tomorrow's release, and this blog post hasn't tickled your pickle to suit your fancy, then feel free to join me in...reacting...to this brand-new The Mortal copyband, brought to by the one and only Grand Court Jester of the Royal Court of Buck-Tickistan, our own dear Maoh Sakurai.


This is not a joke. We did not have anything to do with the production of these pictures, and we did not alter them in any way. In fact, the members of La Fantomas actually rented this photo studio to stage this photoshoot. We would like to call your attention to the Imai Stabilizer Guitar held by Larger Than Actual Size Jake (who actually went out and bought the exact same hat that Actual Size Jake wore on the real Mortal's real tour). We would also like to call your attention to the Chobits-style anime girl ears worn by Lovely Doll Cardcaptor Mera-Mera Murata. Apparently, according to La Fantomas, this is what happens when Acchan-chan kisses you in front of an NHK Hall full of fangirls: you turn into a Chobit. Don't let this happen to you! Friends don't let friends be kissed by Acchan-chan.

If you've got words beyond this, feel free to add them in the comments section, because we've got none. We're struck dumb.

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3.9.16

Atomic Victor-y Cafe

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In keeping with the recent tradition of accompanying the release of each album with a time-limited cafe tie-in, it has been announced that Buck-Tick will be taking over Tower Records Cafe Omotesando between September 10th and October 2nd. At three weeks, this is an unprecedented length of time for Buck-Tick to be taking over a cafe, so everyone who wants to ought to be able to find the time to go check it out!

Perhaps they got the memo about Cafe Manduuka, because this time, Buck-Tick are bringing back the themed food they used for the NicoNico Cafe, but unlike the NicoNico Cafe, the Tower Records Cafe is open till 11PM, meaning that there will actually be time for normal people to relax and have a drink!

And yes, my friends, there are drinks: one for each band member!

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Mr. Sakurai - Tequila Sunrise (850 yen)

Mr. Imai - Tory's Kaku Highball (850 yen)

Sexy Beast Hide - Cream Soda (750 yen...no booze in this one. Sorry, fans!)

Serious Yutaka - Serious Bear Latte (700 yen...it's a latte with Serious Bear drawn on top)

Yagami Toll - Kick Highball (850 yen...Toll's favorite sake with lemon and ginger ale)

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The announcement claims that the band members themselves picked these drinks out, but I don't buy it. Or rather, it seems to me that the only band members who actually bothered to pick out their own drinks were Hide and Yutaka. Not only is Tory's Kaku the second-worst whiskey in Japan (and plus we know Imai's a beer drinker), and not only does Toll (when he's not drinking white wine out of a box) prefer his sake unadulterated with ginger ale (because only gaijin mix sake into cocktails! Sake cocktails are Not A Thing in Japan)...but while we've heard through the grapevine that Mr. Sakurai's going through a tequila phase, the other thing we heard through that same grapevine was that Mr. Sakurai is going through a challenge-the-bartender-to-tequila-shots phase...a challenge which he always wins. Points for emotional maturity: 0. Points for hanging loose and enjoying life after 50: 100. If you've gotta be drinking your tequila out of sunrises instead of straight out of the empty skull of your favorite dead jester, you're not ready to be drinking tequila with Mr. Sakurai. Tower Records is not ready to be drinking tequila with Mr. Sakurai.

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Anyhow, in addition to this boozy goodness, there will also be a Buck-Tick themed food menu, consisting of the following dishes:

Kyokutou Yori Ai wo Komete Neapolitan Spaghetti - 1200 yen. Spicy spaghetti, because of the flames in the Kyokutou Yori Ai wo Komete PV.

Diabolo -Lucifer- Chicken - 1200 yen - Italian Diablo chicken. They're only serving 20 of these per day, so get yours fast.

Angelfish Fish and Chips - 850 yen. The idea of eating an angelfish is only slightly less sickening than the idea of eating an angel. Something about this is fishy, guys.

Chocolate Pancake - 1100 yen. But Tower Records, you do know that song wasn't actually about chocolate, right? So please tell me, what's really in this pancake?

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In addition to the food and booze, Buck-Tick songs will be playing over the sound system, and there will be a photo panel display of photos taken at Buck-Tick's DIQ tour last year. Also, if you order a drink at the cafe, you'll get a special Atom Miraiha coaster (until supplies run out). If you're really desperate for a coaster, you can also order a beer at Yokohama Arena before Climax Together 3rd, and they will give you a coaster there, too. However, they advise you that you can't drink the beer in the venue...so let's hope that beer booth is outside, and it's not a trap where you order your beer in the venue and then some peach-fuzz kid in a security guard's uniform comes over immediately and tries to tell you that you're Breaking The Rules and therefore must leave (if this happens to you, just take a good slurp of that beer and smile broadly at him.)

Also, if you order more than 3000 yen worth of food at the Tower Records Cafe, you will be entered into a lottery to win one of the photo panels...though if you're really going to attempt this, I advise asking the cafe staff to make the Tequila Sunrise extra strong for you, because Japanese cocktails in cafes of this kind often would be better labeled as "may contain traces of booze" than "alcoholic beverage, not for consumption by under-twenties."

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Also, Victor is really, really glad to have Buck-Tick back. To celebrate the occasion by trying to squeeze even more money out of you, they're selling collaboration goods with Buck-Tick's logo and the Victor mascot, Nipper. So if you're into overpriced totes and coffee mugs that look like swag from that Dynamic Integrated Horizontal Human Resources Capacity Building Development Parallelogram Innovation Symposium Seminar Series you had to attend on your business trip last week, then by all means, buy these goods. Victor will hump your leg and possibly pee on your floor in joy.

Oh yeah, and when you buy selected goods at Tower Records shops after September 20th, you get a free "Welcome Buck-Tick" sticker from Victor, just because. Because Victor is the Church of Scientology in disguise, and we should all be very afraid.

Oh yeah, and they're selling the Climax Together 3rd goods at the cafe, as well. But if they don't hurry up and release another shirt that says "Climax Together" across the front, totally context-free, then we're not interested. However, if any of you readers are interested, and would like to purchase goods through Cayce, just shoot us an email. We are here together with you, helping you Climax.