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As most of you are already aware, The Mortal's live DVD/BluRay Immortal will be released on March 9th, two days after our dear Mr. Sakurai turns a twentieth of a millennium old. Some of you may also be aware that fans who purchase the limited edition of the Immortal DVD or BluRay will be eligible to enter a lottery to win some further extra-special goodies.
In the past, such lottery-only goodies have included everything from miniature band figurines (Sexy Stream Liner), a music box that plays Jupiter (Picture Product...I think), a bouquet of dried blue roses (Gensou no Hana), all kinds of signed posters, pieces of the stage sets, opportunities to be in a B-T music video (25th anniversary-associated releases), invites to a free live show at Akasaka Blitz (Heaven & Galaxy singles) a giant Schaft flag (Schaft Archives) and even Mr. Sakurai's actual coat that he wore for the filming of Longinus (whoever has this coat...if you don't want it anymore, please send it to us because we want to wear it every day.) If you think that sounds like pretty cool stuff, you're not alone, and so far, The Mortal has been up to par - the mail-in lottery prize for purchasing the I Am Mortal album was a copy of the Mr. Sakurai and Skull (or should I say, Mr. Sakurai and Boner?) poster that can be seen adorning the wall of the studio where the PV collection was filmed. Give us more of that bony head, yes please!
Anyhow, this is just to say that if you expected the Immortal lottery prize to be something cool, as well, we forgive you. Past prizes have set high standards and given rise to high expectations. But pretty soon, every cookie crumbles, and today, my friends, is that day.
The Immortal lottery prize has been announced, and it is thus: one hundred (100) lucky fans who mail in their lottery cards will win...
...a postcard containing a scrap of fabric that was cut from Sakurai's stage costume which he wore during the tour.
The announcement on the official website does not say whether the fabric in question has been washed and purged of all Mr. Sakurai's mortal sweat and other associated bodily effluvia, but this is Japan, so we think it would be safe to assume that that shit is clean. Sorry, fans. We know the blow is doubly crushing, because most fabric fetishists prefer dirty knickers as their fetish object of choice, but as Mr. Sakurai has never worn knickers even once in his life, he's never had occasion to get them dirty, so you, my creepy fetish fangirl friends, are, to borrow a Buck-Tickistani phrase, shit out of luck.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to give thanks that The Mortal's marketing team had the sense to stop short of bribing the stylist to scavenge nail clippings from the trash can, hair from the soap on the backstage showers, droplets of moisture from His Recently-Used Toothbrush, itsy-bitsy shavings from His Electric Razor, and all manner of even more inappropriate DNA-containing personal sheddings that we're not even going to talk about because even we know where to draw the line and this is it, my friends. Line Drawn.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to give thanks that The Mortal's marketing team had the sense to stop short of bribing the stylist to scavenge nail clippings from the trash can, hair from the soap on the backstage showers, droplets of moisture from His Recently-Used Toothbrush, itsy-bitsy shavings from His Electric Razor, and all manner of even more inappropriate DNA-containing personal sheddings that we're not even going to talk about because even we know where to draw the line and this is it, my friends. Line Drawn.
I know we promised to enter you in the lottery if you ordered Immortal through us, but in light of these new developments, we have decided to refrain from entering this lottery unless you specifically request that we do so, and send us an extra fee of 100 yen to defray the cost of buying the damn postcard, addressing it by hand, and walking to an actual mailbox to put it in the mail - because entering these mail-in lotteries is actually kind of a bitch, and hitherto we've done it without complaining because we love y'all, but sorry, fans - not this time.
But fetish questions aside - why did they have to cut up his costume, eh? Fetishism aside, it was a beautiful garment and we'd have loved a chance to wear it out to Sunday tea. Yagi Tomoharu must be crying into his sewing box right about now, and we've half a mind to go cry with him.
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