Integrating Hairy Differentials

And now for a very important notice.

It appears that Mr. Sakurai's hair has grown approximately four centimeters since March.

An impressive growth rate, but the man's been demonstrating his remarkable follicular velocity on a constant basis ever since he first grew hair.

Too bad the hair on his face doesn't grow at that speed, but that's another matter entirely.

The point I'm trying to make here is: Acchan-chan is 4cm longer in hair.

As I'm well aware that the relationship between the exact number of centimeters of hair on Acchan's head (call that x) is directly proportional to the quantitative measure of starry-eyed hysterical fangirl adoration for him at a given time (call that y), and the relationship between the two is best modeled by the linear function y=x, I felt that this news merited a post of its own.

Blog-Tick estimates Acchan's current hair length at about 20cm, with a 10% margin of error.

Given the above information, tell me how much you love him now.




Exrtra credit. Tell me how Blog-Tick readers misread one of the above sentences as containing the word "4chan."


  1. blog tick is amazing even in maths, not just in doing translations! lucky blog tick readers that we are :) but...wouldn't an exponential function work better in this case? y=x*x*x*x ;)

  2. Vidal Sassoon likes this.

  3. Goodness, Cayce. ROTFL. I usually never comment but geez, couldn't pass up on this one. And the answer is yes, very much love the longer hair on the man!

  4. Doki doki I love his hair a little long.

  5. No, in fact, it's a negative exponential function which models the inverse relationship between the level of Acchan-chan fangirlism and the level of self-irony, for a given fan. And I think y'all are way, way down that curve ;)

  6. Can't wait to see him BALD!! Do you think he is still "naturally" dark? Only his hairdresser (and a few lucky fangirls) knows for sure :P

  7. Anonymous, I think Sakurai is still naturally dark. Most Japanese people don't go grey anywhere near that fast...he's not even fifty yet! And Toll is going to be the first to go bald, followed by Imai, whose hair will all fall out at once the day he puts on one too many dye jobs, thence forth relegating him to an ever-expanding inventory of wigs.

    1. Just saw him, in my mind's eye, in a "Rock Me Amadeus" wig!

      Anonymous Likes This!

  8. I haven't paying attention to japanese music for a while, and when I come back, I see this. Thanks Cayce, I needed some laugh.

    (also, thank you Anonymous, now I can picture Imai with a Nicki Minaj-esque wig)


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