~avec les lolites pretenseuses~

So, now that the Anarchy hall tour is over, I know you've all got a burning question for me, and I haven't answered it yet.

The question...

...when Buck-Tick appeared as special guests of Kokushoku Sumire at their tour final at NHK Hall on September 25th and 26th, how, exactly, did the shit go down? What happened? Where is the dirt?

As a matter of fact, the dirt appeared in the most recent issue of the Hisashi Inquirer, who published their live report on Friday, and we have translated into English and reprinted it here. The sentiments expressed below are solely the opinions of the Hisashi Inquirer and are not a reflection of Cayce's own personal views. But without further ado, let's get to the article.

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A BOUQUET OF BLACK VIOLETS FOR A PRINCE

Last weekend at NHK Hall, Buck-Tick's swelteringly sexy summer of Soviet-surrealist fantasy drew to a close at last, but not before they put on a bombastically Baudelairian show that had us all wet in the knickers and swooning in the stands! Gothique Prince Acchan in his sleeveless tunic and Really Sparkly Pants may have bedazzled us with the stage lights reflecting off his sequined treasures (wink, nudge) and sweaty, manly muscles, but our own dear Hisashi was not to be outdone! Equally as bare-armed as Prince Acchan, he braved the stage in his own dear Really Sparkly Pants without even the modesty of a kilt, and we would have seen the glorious sequined bulge of his machismo had his guitar not been in the way the entire time.

With mojo like this, is it any wonder that the ladies were all upons? Look at that mojo face. This is the mojo face of ONE guy with TWO ladies! He likes it, they like it, and boy were we in for a treat!

At the opening of the first encore, our FAVORITE lovely lolita ladies joined Buck-Tick on the stage for a delightful interlude of classical femininity, dainty and delicate. These girls always look darling, and how could tonight be an exception? The bargain-bin nylon of their matching hoop skirts and Halloween costume wigs took on a plasticky sheen in the stage lights - and what better for Buck-Tick, the ORIGINAL authors of "Plastic Syndrome"! As they twirled across the stage, the flimsy, flower-shaped hoop skirts swayed gently back and forth like bells in the belltower of the Church of Mana-sama the Blessed, invoking an extra-lite touch of faux that would have been the envy of any Disney princess. As the skirts swayed, we even got a peek UNDER them, just high enough to see those giant red heels and boldly clashing trim on the skirt hems - mustard-colored pompom upholstery trim on black, white, and red dresses!  It looks hideous and it doesn't match, but what of it? THAT'S DADA, FOLKS. As the Hisashi Inquirer, we always ask, what would Hisashi do? The answer is, he would pick something that's hideous and doesn't match, and these girls were sure rocking his style tonight.

As for rock, there was none to be had...but that's to be expected, because lolitas don't rock! Lolitas are far too elegant and refined for rock-n-roll, and that's why we love them. Even Gothique Prince Acchan surely loves them, which is why he deigned demurely to don a white lace poet shirt with long, long sleeves, the better to cover his barenaked man-muscles. While as tabloid writers, we're not afraid to admit that large, well-toned muscles (not to mention those luscious ringlets of raven-black armpit hair!) do have a certain crude appeal, we agree that in this case, they would have spoiled the mood.  After all, making "Victims of Love" TOO SEXY FOR A SHIRT would be to betray the original spirit of the song!!!

But Prince Acchan is a seasoned performer, and we knew we could trust him on this one. As the lolitas took the stage, he turned the Sexy Level down to near zero, keeping it all to himself on center stage so as to avoid even the remotest possibility of accidental sexual chemistry with our lolitas - they're Hisashi's girls, after all!

And just like our own dear Hisashi, for these ladies, sticking to the original score belies what they're capable of. Improvisation is the spice of life! Plus, to sing in tune would have been tantamount to declaring submission to the repressive right-wing regime of the Hegemony of Right Notes...but this tour is about ANARCHY! And we're proud to say that Yuka, the lovely vocalist, did not capitulate to The Man by ever once singing in tune. She was NEVER on the correct pitch, that we could hear, but if she was, her wide vibrato disguised it enough that we couldn't tell what note she was singing, so it's all good ;) Don't worry, Yuka, we won't tell!

Even when "Victims of Love" reached its tragically virginal conclusion (how lolita!), our Violet Girls weren't done yet. That's right - they stayed onstage to treat us to another song, by which we mean TWO other songs, but different each night!!

On Night One, we enjoyed "Alice in Wonder Underground," followed by "Diabolo," and Yuka demonstrated yet again that she's a woman of many talents, who can sing daringly off-key while tinkling with delicate fingers on the pure ivory keys of a Roland toy piano (how lolita!) With so many musicians on stage at once, the sounds of each instrument blended together into an indistinguishable tangle of noise like a tangle of silk ribbon or lace threads, a riotous cacophony of sound like a Dadaist concert at the Cabaret Voltaire. Which was guitar, which was piano, and which was violin, none of us could say, but as Yuka raised her elegant lolitique warble to join in the harmony, her voice clashed as exquisitely with the voice of our own dear Hisashi as a corpse drinking young wine. Hugo Ball would have been so proud!

But however good Night One was, Night Two was even more of a thrill, bringing us not only a reprise of "Diabolo," but also a whole new arrangement, of a song we've always loved and dearly missed, a song that's just perfect for these two ladies - yes, that's right, I'm talking about "Doll"!

Far from the shockingly violent sexual scene pictured above, tonight's "Doll" was the picture of maidenhood and beauty. Opening with nothing but Sachi's violin and Yuka's toy piano, the gentle, feminine sounds licked at the entrance to our eardrums like gentle tongues, sending us into paroxysms of aural pleasure! Rearranged for lolita and violin, the song achieves a new level of ephemeral gossamer refinement, like sugar, spice and everything nice without any pesky Chemical X thrown in.

Bowing to the mood of romantic understatement, Gothique Prince Acchan approached Yuka with a dashing wave on the line "suteki da yo mon amour" ("you're so beautiful, my love"), but backed quickly away, deftly avoiding every possible possibility of accidental sexual chemistry yet again! Though he circled the stage like a knight on horseback, he very gallantly avoided touching even the hems of the ladies' skirts, choosing instead to put his arm around our dear Mr. Hisashi, enacting a tableaux of love between men, as pure and true and lacking in titillating homoerotic undercurrents as Ancient Greece.

"These lovely flowers have bloomed in Buck-Tick's garden!" Gothique Prince Acchan declared as the lolita segment of the program drew to a close.  "Please give them another round of applause! They were truly lovely. Lovely Lolita is Lovely!"

We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Black and white and trimmed in mean mustard! Those colors sure clash and clash! We could almost call this i-costume-clasm!

Gothique Prince Acchan has a bad case of bitchy resting face, but we forgive him. A REAL Byronic Anti-Hero NEVER smiles. Keep it up, Acchan-chan, we luv u.

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Source: The Hisashi Inquirer, number 46 vol. 27.

Translation by Cayce.

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