Ubi Sunt Membra Mortalia?

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Now that we've seen the track list for Atom Miraiha No. 9, everyone's talking about Buck-Tick. But does Mr. Sakurai still yearn for those days of freedom last year when he cast loose all the constraints of his musical marriage? If the song "BOY: Septem Peccata Mortalia" is any indication, the answer to that question is yes. Hell, it almost looks as if this song title is one that he scrapped from using with The Mortal simply because he didn't have enough time to fit it in.

Therefore, we thought we'd do a little check-in, and see how the rest of The Mortal's members are doing...what are they doing without Mr. Sakurai's fame shining a spotlight on them and raining the gold coins of fangirls into their pockets? How are they managing to put roofs over their heads and food on the table?

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Well, Jake, it seems, is doing the same as ever - Guniw Tools continue apace with their revival, but Jake does not appear to want to be involved with Asaki in a musical sense, and therefore, he's not involved in the Guniw Tools project. Instead, he's busy advertising guitar effects on YouTube. This video just broke 40,000 views! Let's help him break 50,000. And maybe when you're done with this one, you'll go watch the one about the Purple Plexifier.

How much money does this kind of job pay?

Enough to keep him drinking craft beer, clearly. Hang in there Jake! We know there's more beer in your future, and we'll hope there's more Acchan in there too.

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So then, what about Akiyama Takahiko? We mentioned his jazz-drummer sensibilities in our article The Cacophony of Mortality...well, turns out, the man's got a history as a jazz drummer, with this crazy hyper-powered instrumental jazz-rock band, Fresh! Sure, this video is old. But if you like Guniw Tools and you like Imai, you ought to watch this video, for sure. Past the 2 minute mark it starts getting really good...and see if you can spot the cameo by off-the-beaten-track live house Shin-Daita Fever (which may or may not show up in the venue guide we're currently in the process of writing...shh don't tell anyone yet! You're not supposed to know!)

More recently, Akiyama has been involved in a series of metal-themed live gigs, the Metal-Kai, involving various members of various bands who get together to jam their favorite heavy metal songs. We haven't been, but we're heard from Mortal fans who have. The consensus? It's heavy. It's metallic. It's Metalocalypse-approved. If you're a metal fan in Japan, by all means, check it out.

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And if you're a metalhead, you should definitely check out Miyo Ken! If you think instrumental power-rock jazz is unusual taste, try out Miyo Ken's instrumental math metal band, Seiten no Hekireki! We'd have liked to post a video, rather than this shitty photo, but it appears they have no videos on YouTube. If you go see them live, though, you can buy one of their demo CDs for the low, low price of 500 yen.

But if you just can't get enough of Miyo Ken and need a band who has videos on YouTube and other places, and you also liked minus (-) and maybe Portishead, then Miyo Ken's other dark side project u crack irigaru are the band for you! Pairing dark, hard sounds with ethereal female vocals, this band manage to capture both the Nu-Goth and hipster-electro sounds without quite sounding derivative of either. If you enjoyed the vocals on the minus (-) song "The Victim," u crack irigaru may sound eerily familiar - the vocalist is the same.

Of course, those of your with more sparkly proclivities may now be straining to point out that in addition to the above dark grungy indies projects, Miyo Ken is also now an official courtier in the kingdom of Vaniru's Gothique Prince Leoneil...but we're not going to talk about that right now except to say that, to you fans who asked...Leoneil he is Acchan-chan's secret love child, duh, of course. Haven't I always told you, everything you read on the internet is true???

To those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about...please, for the love of god, don't look it up. If we ignore them maybe they'll go away. Actually, we take it back - do go look it up. Vaniru are at least the best Buck-Tick copyband since B-T-K (Sorry, Maoh!)

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So, that leaves one member of The Mortal as yet un-checked-in with. So let's go check him out. I mean check him in. I mean check up thinking time listen to the music? ...whoops, that was Imai. What I mean to say is, what of the only member of The Mortal to possess fashion sense edging up on the ugliness edginess of Imai? Yes, friends, we're talking about My Way My Love's own Murata Yukio... we checked in with him, too, and we found out that gosh darnit, he's written the hit single of the summer.

This song, my friends. Words, music, and arrangement by Murata Yukio. Yeah, the same one who wrote "Pain Drop." Yeah, the same one who wrote "Barbaric Man." This is currently, as we speak, the top of the Japanese singles charts, so make sure you watch the entire video.

If the idea that musicians who've worked with Sakurai also work with the likes of the people above makes you angry, just remember: every mouthbreathing fanboy who buys this single is paying royalties to your very favorite Pain Drop composer. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and this is what indie musicians do for money, kids. 

But think of the champagne he's drinking, as we speak! Maybe next time, he'll be the one who takes Acchan-chan out to dinner. Maybe tomorrow, when he gets paid, he'll finally be able to afford a second pair of pants.

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Cool pants, dude...

Cool pants...feel like I've seen 'em before...

Cool pants...it's like deja vu...

Life is short, dude. Buy new pants.

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